Logan Echolls quotes from Veronica Mars

Logan

I believe Keanu Reeves said it best when he said, "Whoooa."

Logan

[to Duncan] What, are we breaking up now? You want your best friend charm back?

Logan

Ho, ho, [looks at Veronica] ho.

Logan

You know what Mom would have wanted? She would have wanted you to not sleep with all her friends. She would have wanted you to care as much about her as your career. So okay, Dad, let's be honest. Maybe we both wished we'd been better. But she's only gone because of you.

Logan

[explaining the benefits of an ankle monitor] ...And the other sweet thing is that I'm in constant video contact with Martha Stewart, right?

Logan

I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boys' locker room after watching the cheerleader tryouts.

Dude, you are so dead.

Lilly

Very pervy, Duncan. I'm a little impressed though.

Logan

You must drink, comrade.

Veronica

Please tell me that was before we started dating.

[drinking] Of course. I've never, um, I've never seen my parents having sex. [Lilly drinks, everyone gasps] No way, no way.

Lilly

Yeah, I went into their room to borrow Mom's black sweater.

No, just shut up.

Lilly

Mom was on top of Dad.

Oh my God, I don't wanna see this!

Lilly

Hold on a second! She was like this. Watch. She was like this. [moaning] Ohh. Ohh. [yawning] Ohh.

Lilly, that is so wrong.

Lilly

I think Dad probably thought so too.

Veronica

[to Troy, about Logan] Uh, your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.

Logan

Ha ha. Nice car. God, it must've been a huge cereal box.

Clemmons

Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word?

Logan

"Anthropomorphic." All yours, big guy.

Clemmons

Oh. [fake laugh] Your father has generously offered to donate a pair of boots for our school fundraising auction.

Logan

Not the ones made for walking? God, I love those boots.

Logan

They teach you manners in ESL?

Weevil

If I was gonna cheat, don't you think I'd pick somebody smart?

Logan

If you "was gonna"?

Ah, alas, you both get zeroes. No talking during tests.

Logan

I guess Mrs. Daniels ain't giving it up at home, huh?

You know, the glow of your father's wealth and celebrity may be enough to sustain you through high school, Mr. Echolls, but do you know what it will get you in the real world?

Logan

[sarcastically] Please say "high school English teacher." Please...say "high school English teacher." [Weevil snickers]

Mr. Navarro. I wonder if you'll find Mr. Echolls so amusing ten years from now - when you're pumping his gas.

This is punishment, gentlemen, not party time.

Logan

Well, that would explain the absence of balloon animals.

Veronica

Look at you, all helpful.

Logan

Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Connor brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one! Annoy like the wind!

This is ridiculous.

Yeah, I usually get six figures for this.

What about you?

Weevil

I'm the one who got his money stolen.

Mmm, I'm thinking... crabs?

Weevil

I told your mother to clean up.

Logan

Guys, play nice.

Weevil

Trust me. I'm playing nice.

Veronica

A little impressed, aren't you?

You must be really unlucky on love.

Logan

Ok, I say we take a little break, let the cosmos realign. 'Cause obviously something's up.

Veronica

My father sent me with paperwork for your mom.

Logan

And you just wanted to say hi? It's a good thing I didn't have my slam book out.

Veronica

I wanted to ask you about the game.

Logan

I've been meaning to ask you something. Did your super-sleuth kit come with a decoder ring? Do you have a pen that writes with invisible ink? Never mind, don't care. Mush! Mush!

Logan

My only concern is property values going down if anyone sees you in my house without a leaf blower or a skimmer.

Weevil

You're concerned? I'm the one who's got to go up into the hills all by myself. What if I run into a pack of you white boys on some clean, well-lit street? I could be bored to death!