Beaver Casablancas quotes from Veronica Mars

Beaver

[after blowing up the plane] I know this might be a [snickers] bad time to ask for a favor... How would you feel, now that you have nothing left to live for, about just rolling yourself off? It's just, I really don't want your DNA all over my shirt.

Dick

Uh-oh, someone's got their eye on that Miss White Trash title.

Beaver

Yeah, and making a solid effort in the talent competition, but I'd like to see that car up on some cinder blocks.

Logan

Guys, come on.

Veronica

I know... "Guys, come on! The talent is making a grilled cheese sandwich on the engine block." "Guys, come on, you can't put your car up on blocks in the yard if you don't have a yard."

Veronica

You know I think I can do both sides of this little act now.

Veronica

So how 'bout next time you don't bother; I got it covered.

Mac

Pay me in cash, I ask no questions. Just tip me off when you're going public.

Beaver

You know, I think that might be illegal.

Mac

Still... you're admiring my moxie, aren't you?

Beaver

Something like that.

Veronica

Hey, Cassidy. Who's Amber?

Beaver

I have no idea.

Veronica

They keyed the wrong car? How's Amber gonna know that she's a bitch?

Weevil

This is pointless.

Beaver

[sighs] Okay, look, so you know quadratic equations, right?

Weevil

Do I look like someone who knows quadratic equations, huh?

Beaver

I'm just trying to see what you already know.

Weevil

Zero! You want your car fixed? Teach me.

Beaver

Okay, okay. All right, look, so this equation right here, what do you think we should do first?

Weevil

Am I a five-year-old girl, huh? Lay it out for me, dawg, c'mon! Make me understand.

Beaver

Okay, okay! Okay, so let's say that you and your buddy wanna buy a 12-pack of a certain item, say, like, uh, spark plugs for "X" dollars, and you wanna find out how many of another item, like, um, I dunno, like oil, that you can get for the same amount. Except oil is "Y" times as much -

Weevil

If this is your idea of terms I'll understand, I'm going to kill you. Or myself. It's a toss-up. Screw it, man. I'll just cheat.

Beaver

No, look... but what about my car?

Weevil

You know power buffers, right? Well, let's say your door panel is a summer home, right, and you need to clear out the south lawn to make a tennis court, so -

Mac

[from next table over] F-O-I-L. That's all it is. First, Outside, Inside, Last. All algebra - it's just the formula.

Weevil

Now can you teach me that?

Mac

You'll still fix his car?

Weevil

That's the deal.

Mac

Okay, say you and your buddy buy a 12-pack of spark plugs... [Weevil glares] I'm just kidding.

Weevil

Okay, you put another "X" on that paper, and we're gonna have a problem.

Mac

I'd put little smiley faces, but I don't know if that's gonna sell "wrong."

Beaver

I told you you went too fast on balancing equations.

Mac

I didn't go too fast!

Beaver

You plowed right through! I didn't even understand what you were talking about.

Mac

No surprise there.

Beaver

What, you're saying you're smarter than me?

Mac

No, I wasn't. Here's what that would've sounded like: "I'm smarter than you." Hear the difference?

Beaver

You don't really believe that.

Mac

Then why did I get it tattooed on my hip?

Beaver

If this what you need to do to feel better about yourself...

Mac

[to Weevil] If I get you an A, will you shiv him?

Weevil

Hey, I got an idea. How about you two geniuses go work out your aggression in some coat room and then come back here and teach me algebra, huh?