[Kelly and Taylor got eliminated because they went shopping in the Dubai mall long enough for the Best Friends to check into the Chill Zone before them]
DonKelly, Taylor, you're last to arrive, you're out of the race.
Oh, I guess we should’ve checked in before shopping!
Meh, it was fun while it lasted.
I hope I never touch another camel, but I loved Paris. I can't believe how good your drawing was.
I know, so good. I can't believe your upper body strength. I need to see your trainer like, yesterday.
You know, it's funny. We entered this race to win more money. But we ended up getting something we actually needed.
Speaking of which, if we're gonna shop more, I'll need you to double my allowance.
Oh, Taylor, I'm canceling your allowance.
"Find your next tip at the world famous Bird's Nest Stadium." Never heard of it.
Don
Well, it's right here, in Beijing, China! Home to 25,000,000 people. Oddly enough, we see none of them.
Don
Last episode's Chill Zone sits atop the Great Wall of China. That makes it today's starting point. And last episode's winners are the first team to grab a tip.
[takes a tip from the Don box and Stephanie swipes it out of his hand] You gonna tell me what it says?
You gonna let me read it? [interview] We can't quit now. The prize money's like our children. We're staying together for the kids.
I heard they're changing our name from the Daters to the Haters.
Hey, go for it. My hate for him won us the last round, so today, I plan to hate him even more.
I couldn't hate her more if I tried. They might as well just give us the money right now.
[reading] "Fly to Oulu, Finland."
OMOwen and MacArthur
Finland?
Don
Finland. This European country is home to countless coffee drinkers, cellphone users, and the most saunas per capita, which is where the teams are headed. Here, to this Don box of the piping hot sauna's Apena Pilei Spa. Why suffer in the cold…when you can suffer in the heat?
[grabs and reads a tip] "All-In: Finish Spa Day. Teams have to sit the dry sauna…"
"…fully clothed at the highest heat for 10 minutes."
[with his shirt off and puts his pants back on; chuckles uncomfortably] Less awesome.
Don
Each spa hut has just enough room for two teams, and the 10-minute timer doesn't start until both teams have crammed inside.
"After the sauna, collect a tip from the next Don box by crossing the semi-frozen river."
[The Reality TV Pros, Sisters, and Adversity Twins arrive at the stage in downtown Oulu]
[stepping out of the taxi] Cool! I wonder who's playing.
[grabs a tip from the Don box] Uh, we are.
"Teams must battle it out in Finland's national sport, air guitar." Psh, air guitar? For real?!
Don
For very real. Performances will be judged by this applause meter. Get the crowd into a maximum frenzy, and teams can rock on over here to today's Chill Zone. Bottom out, and it's back to the end of the line to try, try again.
"Whoever didn't pull the rickshaw in Beijing must perform here."
[The Adversity Twins got eliminated because they didn't make it to the Chill Zone before 11 remaining teams]
Don
Twins, you've raced hard and overcame a lot of issues no one has ever heard of, but I'm sorry. You're out.
We gathered that. We didn't win, but I'm proud of us. Our doctor said we'd last a week, our physiotherapist said a day, our gym teacher just laughed and laughed.
[reading the tip] "Go to Helsinki Airport and catch the next flight to Zimbabwe?"
Don
Located in southwestern Africa, Zimbabwe has stunning flora, exotic fauna, and majestic scenery. Once teams land, they have to drive here… to Victoria Falls, which is nearly twice the height of Niagara Falls. Hear that, North America? Your waterfalls are getting owned!
[humming a tune while laying back as another raft bumps in from behind, thinking it's his dad] I knew you were going to catch up-- [realizes it's the Daters/Haters instead] Oh. Uh, hey.
What's up, kid? Where's your dad?
We got separated. And the family rule is, if you get separated, go to your destination. Uh, do you mind if I tag along?
Oh-ho-ho. You don't wanna get in this boat. Stephanie might hit you with an oar and shove you off a cliff!
Are you still talking about that? "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!" Get over it.
How did you guys manage to get a selfie? [Stephanie tosses him their camera] Wow. That's impressive.
Ha! You hear that? Impressive!
He doesn't know any better. He's just a child.
Actually, I've got a chest hair, so…
So he's already more of a man than you, Ryan.
Don
While most of the other teams have already started the rhino challenge, our last place Ice Dancers have finally landed in Africa.
Out of our way, sky waitress! We're in a race!
[Meanwhile…]
Well, I only boss you around because you have no leadership skills, guts, or common sense.
So, uh, thanks for the lift.
Please, I saved us from elimination way more often than you have.
I must be. I was dating you!
Why do you have to remind me? I'd already blocked that out!
Anyway, you're not listening, so… [runs off alone leaving the Haters to continue their argument] Good luck… With everything. I don't like to judge, but those two probably shouldn't have kids.
Don
Photos check out. 1st place to the Police Cadets, 2nd to the Surfer Dudes! [both teams cheer; inspects the photos; to Geoff] Geoff, one question: How do you keep your hat on while plunging over the world's highest falls?
[interview] White Stallion Glue. Will hold, mold, and won't cost you gold.
JJJacques and Josee
[run and scream in terror]
I love rhinos! I love rhinos!
Junior! Oh, Buddy am I happy to see you. I’m sorry we didn’t finish the challenge, pal, but I- I couldn’t take pictures. I just have to find you!
Who said we didn’t finish?
Don
10th place.
JJJacques and Josee
Rhinos are my friend!
So proud of you. Now, we just need to make sure your mom never sees this episode, ever.
Alright, dad. That’s enough.
Don
Jacques and Josee!
[reading the tip] "Stop in at Geelong maximum security."
Don
Geelong Prison closed in 1991. But during its 146 years of operation, it was the most brutal and violent lockup on Earth. Now it's an extreme travel hot spot! As teams arrive, they'll be throw into cells. Each cell is equipped with four methods of escape: tunnels, trap doors, hidden tools, or bars. Once they break out of their cell, they're free to make their way to today's final Don box, here on the Barwon river. Boomerangs can only be used here. After they pass this point, the boomerang expires. And, as a special bonus treat…
[reading] "First team to today's Chill Zone gets to make a phone call home." Cool, we can call Mom.
Or better yet, order a pizza. [Junior points to the camera; clears throat] Eh, b-but of course, you know, I'm joking.
Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race · 242 quotes
