Groundskeeper Willie quotes from The Simpsons

Principal Skinner

Willie, stay your tractor.

Groundskeeper Willie

Ya can't just turn 'er on and off like that! [Skinner turns the key which turns off the tractor.] Oh, ah guess ya can.

Willie

You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?

Lisa

No, this is good.

Willie

Well, this knave's got to carve something.

Groundskeeper Willie

Oh, I just came in to take out the trash!

And you shall leave immortal! Also, take out the trash.

Willie

Stop it! If you pull out these bricks, the whole school could collapse!

Bart

But there's a skunk in there.

Willie

[gasps] Scottish steak! [bursts into it, making the whole school collapse, except for the broom closet]

Skinner

You are going to rebuild on every brick of this school.

Lisa

Magic Club! Join the Magic Club! Want to cut up a banana without peeling it? Join and [in a spooky tone] I'll tell you how! It's with a needle and thread!!

I like magic. I'm going to take one of your cards. [takes one of them and performs a magic trick, making the cards multiply] Or did I take 52?

Lisa

[gasps] Do you want to join in? You could be president! Just man the booth, I need to go to the bathroom.

I'd love to join. Honestly, this is the only booth that doesn't creep me out. [looks at Ralph's Hug Club]

Hug me! Hug me! [Principal Skinner puts a "Warning, Do not hug" sign on him] Hug me!

I'm Harper. Just moved here. Trying to make friends.

Lisa

Lisa. Always been here. Trying to make friends. [they hug]

Groundskeeper Willie

Well, I've got news for all of your clubs! It's 3 p.m., so Willie's turnin' on the sprinklers!

Groundskeeper Willie

It's Sheri.

Dewey Largo

Oh, yes! Yes!

Groundskeeper Willie

Correction, the faller is Teri. Repeat, Teri.