Pam Beesly quotes from The Office (US)

Michael

[calling from the conference room] Pam, come in here please.

Pam

Tell me before I come there.

Michael

[Apprehensively] I want you rub butter on my foot.

Pam

No.

Michael

Please? I have Country Crock.

Pam

What did you guys talk about?

Jim

Oh, just you know--politics, literature... [holds up Hooter's T-shirt]

Pam

I hate you.

Michael

I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.

Jim

Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.

Michael

No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.

Phyllis

Afghani.

Michael

What?

Phyllis

Afghani.

Michael

That's a dog.

Pam

No, that's afghan.

Michael

That's a shawl.

Dwight

Wait, canine AIDS?

Michael

No, humans with AIDS.

Creed

Who has AIDS?

Jim

Guys, the Afghanistananis.

Jim

I was just, um... I'm in love with you.

Pam

What?

Jim

I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that, I just--

Pam

What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?

Jim

I just needed you to know. Once.

Pam

Well, I, um--I can't...

Jim

Yeah.

Pam

You have no idea--

Jim

Don't do that.

Pam

--what your friendship means to me.

Jim

Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that.

Pam

What time is it there?

Jim

What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.

Pam

Uh, oh, yeah, right.

Jim

How far away did you think we were?

Pam

I don't know. It felt far.

Jim

...Yeah.

Pam

[seeing a picture of Michael and Jan in Jamaica] Oh my God, is that Jan?

Michael

No... that's a German woman named... Urkel... grue.

Kelly

Are you all right? This must be so awful for you.

Pam

What do you mean?

Kelly

Well, this was supposed to be your wedding.

Pam

Oh, um, no, that's, um, it's actually fine.

Kelly

There's no way it's fine, I'm sorry. If I was you, I would just like freak out, and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam

Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

Dwight

I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.

Pam

Phallus?

Dwight

Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.

Pam

I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...

Jim

Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?

Pam

Yes.

Jim

All right. Then... it's a date.

Pam

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Pam

[answering the phone] Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial... Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race For The Cure. This is Pam.

Michael

Pro-Am.

Pam

...Pro-Am Race For The- They hung up.

Pam

Thank goodness you were there

Michael

[shaking his head nervously] Yeah...

Andy

Did you see who did it?

Dwight

No need. We can just check the security tapes

Michael

It's kind of a good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.

Jim

Who was driving?

Pam

oh Michael...

Jim

Do you remember what you said to me on my first day of work, just before you walked me over to my desk?

Pam

Yeah: "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your deskmate Dwight."

Jim

That's when I knew. You?

Pam

You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired."

Jim

That was the moment that you knew you liked me.

Pam

Yep.

Jim

Wow. Can we make it a different moment?

Pam

Nope.

Jim

[after pairing his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight.

Pam

[on phone] Is this Dwight?

Jim

Yes, it is.

Pam

Oh my goodness, you sound sexy.

Jim

Oh, thank you. I've been working out.

Dwight

Woah! Woah! Woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim!

Pam

Dwight?

Dwight

No! [waving] I'm over here!

Pam

I'm confused.

Kelly

Dwight, get out of my nook.

Pam

[heard through Jim's Bluetooth] THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Jim

Good one.

Dwight

[Interrupting Jim and Pam's kiss in the parking lot] You're back.

Pam

Uh, yeah.

Dwight

Good. [hands Pam a stack of papers] I need you to make five copies of these.

Pam

I'm not going inside.

Dwight

Alright, first thing in the morning then.

Jim

[to Pam] Welcome back.