Erin Hannon quotes from The Office (US)

Erin

And then my last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and... I don't know. I couldn't keep up.

Erin

Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she is so special and she's so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. It's nuts.

Erin

I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive...and I believe him.

Erin

The more I hear about all this a capella drama, the more I think it's kind of pathetic. But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love.

Erin

Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas to sell his family's boat, and he took his brother, but not me. I was kind of sad at first, but then I remembered that Bob Marley song - No Woman, No Cry.

Erin

The pen delivery went amazing, and now I've got all these pens just waiting to be unpacked. But Pam did not tell me to unpack the pens, and I'm not one of those people who's just like, Uh, sure. I'll accept the pens when they come in, and then as soon as your back's turned, I unpack the pens and get all this credit as some great pen unpacker. On the other hand... they are just sitting here. Pam didn't tell me not to unpack them. Don't want to be a busybody, but I don't want to be a lazybones.

Erin

Yeah, Darryl's here. So is Santa Claus. It's just a regular Thursday. [Whispers] Neither guy is here. And its Friday. Welcome to me and Darryl's world of lies.

Andy

Hey, any fun weekend plans?

Erin

No, you?

Andy

Uh, no, actually. So nothing? No movies, or parties, or anything you might want to invite someone to?

Erin

Nothing. It's wide open.

Andy

Okay.

Andy

That's as hard as I can hint.

Erin

Did you grow up around here?

Kevin

No.

Erin

So, you must have grown up around somewhere else?

Kevin

Yes.

Michael

Kevin, Erin would like a few words with you.

Erin

Hey.

Kevin

Hi.

Erin

I have really enjoyed our time together.

Kevin

Yeah, me too.

Erin

I want to continue working on our friendship.

Kevin

Really, really fun.

Erin

Because I think our friendship could be a really cool thing.

Kevin

Yeah, me too.

Erin

And, you're my friend.

Kevin

Yeah.

Erin

And I hope that I'm your friend... and maybe...

Kevin

Yeah.

Michael

Oh my God, this is agonizing. Look, Kevin, do you really think that you could have dated Erin?

Kevin

You said she liked me.

Michael

Okay, even if someone told you that, you should know that could never be possible, Kevin. And I'm surprised that you didn't question me in the first place.

Erin

Who's Holly, guys?

Michael

That is a good question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe - just maybe - a part of my future?

Erin

So tell me about your new girlfriend.

Andy

She's neat. I met her at Darryl's cousin's party. We were the only two white people there.

Erin

Aw, cute.

Andy

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! We actually sat down, and did the math.

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's how many minutes, that you've worked here.

Pam

In costumes!

Jim

And impressions!

Toby

In meetings.

And cups of coffee.

Kevin

For birthdays!

Stanley

More meetings and...

...E-mail forwards you made us read.

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's like watching Die Hard, eighty thousand times!

Meredith

You hit me with your car!

Ryan

You helped me get off drugs!

Creed

I watch you when you sleep.

Oscar

I forgive you for kissing me!

Remember to call. Call. Remember to call. Call. Remember to call. Call.

Call, text or e-mail, or call.

Deangelo

[falsetto] Measure your life in love!

Remember to call, remember to call. Remember to call.

Erin

Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?

Pam

Um, two?

Erin

That's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear.

Erin

Hey, I never told you my Christmas wish.

Andy

Ah, OK.

Erin

It's about you.

Andy

That's not what it should be, it should just be like a trinket or something.

Erin

It's that I wish Jessica was dead.

Andy

Y-you...wait, you mean you wish she wasn't here or something?

Erin

I wish she was in a graveyard! Under the ground. With worms coming out of her mouth.

Andy

Hey, you know, you can't say that, OK? That's my girlfriend that you're talking about. You and I are not together anymore. You need to get over it! Take your wish back.

Erin

Too late! It's already been wished! And you promised it would come true. You wrote it in an email! So, which one are you? A murderer or a liar?