I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon--sue me--and since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
“The Injury” · Season 2, Episode 12
In this episode: Michael Scott (3), Dwight Schrute (1), Jim Halpert (1), Pam Beesly (1)
[calling from the conference room] Pam, come in here please.
Tell me before I come there.
[Apprehensively] I want you rub butter on my foot.
No.
Please? I have Country Crock.
[Jim and Michael are driving a concussed Dwight to the hospital in Meredith's van. Dwight is opening a bottle of whisky]
Dwight, what're you doing
I found it under the seat.
Oh my God! Dwight! Put it down!
I'm thirsty. [Jim sprays him] No!
Give the bottle to Michael.
No. I'm thirsty.
Give the bottle to me, Dwight. [To Jim] Just keep your eyes on the road. Give me the bottle or you're fired.
You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
Give it to me, Dwight! [tries to grab it]
No. [takes a sip] Mmm... [babbles insanely]
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