A character in The Loud House
It's our fault you didn't pass your test. We kept you up all night helping us study, that you were too tired to take your own test.
We talked to Mom and Dad, and they agreed to give you a second chance.
And this way we won't be here to distract you.
You're all willing to go back to regular school just for me? [her siblings nod] Thanks, you guys.
How excited are you for tonight's episode?
So excited! According to rumors on social media, Tristan's going to turn the dungeon into a gym. Tristan working out, can you even? [They sigh dreamily]
[Groans] Let's hope this works Edwin. [goes over to Lori and Leni] Hey guys, now that we're all, um, ' VoM heads ', you have to join me in all of the super fun pre-show rituals.
Well, congratulations! Keep reaching for those dreams.
[Touched] Aww! Thanks! You're so supportive!
[To Clyde] The more success she has, the less time she has to prank us.
Ah. [Sits on a whoopie cushion and it deflates] Yeah she still has time.
[Luan goes into the house and up the stairs. She gasps as she steps on something, or rather someone. She looks down and sees Lucy depressed.]
Lucy, what are you doing on the stairs?
Sigh. I submitted my best poem to the Transylvania review. They didn't want it. I must have what it takes to be a poet.
Your first rejection letter, huh? Well, step into my office. I wanna show you something.
[Later, in Luan's room, Lucy is laying on the bed, Luan brings out a bag full of papers.]
These are my rejection letters.
[Takes a look] It's like a coffin of your dreams.
It's just part of creative life, you can't expect to shoot to the top right away. When I was your age, I had to start at the bottom. [Flashback to 8 year old Luan performing at Charles' birthday party for him, Cliff, and Walt, using a hairbrush as a microphone] Performing for our pets' birthdays.
What did the Dalmatian say after a snack? That hit the spot! Wow! ruff crowd! [Charles peed on her shoes] Dang it, Charles!
[Flashback changes to Luan performing at the bowling alley]
[Narrating] It was a long time before I was ready to try my act out in public.
Good one, Mr. Coconuts! You bowl me over!
Guess that one landed in the gutter, toots.
Ah! Curly fries!
[Narrating] Even then I still had a lot to learn about comedy. [Flashback to Luan graduating from clown school.] So I enrolled in a clowning academy. Finally, after paying my dues, I was able to build my own business.
How do turtles talk to each other? On their shell phones!
Aww, thank you!
You smell weird, your hair is wrong, and I would not recommend you to my friends! [Shoots an 'what're you gonna do about that?' look. Luan gives her a reassurance smile and nods. Lucy writes something else in her book]
Mean little blonde, you throw stones and sticks. But what would you know? You're only six.
[And just like that, the siblings smile at this]
[Jumps up in the air; proud] Boo-yah!!! That's my girl! Lucy, time to take your show on the road.
(eating bean chips) Anyone want a low-cal bean chip?
Vomit.
They’re delicious, and supes high fiber.
Frrrt!
Yes, apparently.
Lincoln, you're perfect just the way you are!
You're kind.
You're fashionable.
You're rockin.
You're funny.
You're tough.
You're deep.
You're friendly.
You're smart.
You Yincoln Youd.
Now give me that jacket and go out there and just be you!
This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid Hipster Island.
I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad, or his evil twin, Chad.
You could always record Southern Hospitality and watch it later.
[After a series of flashbacks of the Loud siblings breaking the vase Lynn Sr. and Rita got on their wedding by giving them an increasing time of grounding…]
If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.
Can't we just get rid of it?
[imitates buzzer] They'd noticed. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.
That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.
Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!
[to Lisa] Are you thinking what I am thinking?
To the lab!
[Two minutes later, the siblings are all gathered in Lisa and Lily's room]
Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?
[raises her hand] Yeah… I've got one, brain box. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?
Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.
[nudges Lola] Eh?
And I am stunned, quite frankly, it came out of your mouth. [Lola nudges Lynn in return while giggling] But don't worry, I have done the requisite calculations. I found that swapping the vase with another gift -- in this case, a mundane, gently used toaster -- would have the least impact on the space-time continuum.
Wait. Why are you guys all here? And why are you wearing disguises?
We saw your progress reports.
And thought you got bad grades, and you'd be kicked out of Fairway.
And become a pudding feeder!
So, we decided to take your test for you. Boy, we messed up. We're really sorry, Lori.
[holds in her anger and sighs] Well, in a weird Loud family way, it does show you care.
[Daylight at the Royal Woods cemetery…]
I call this emergency meeting to order.
This better be important. We're so not morning people.
Thanks for coming, Lucy.
I'm flattered the Casagrandes want my help.
Thank you for letting Boris come along, too. I'm so excited for Halloween in the big city.
[They enter Great Lakes City and arrive at the Casagrande apartment]
Lucy! Muchas gracias for helping us!
It's my pleasure, really. Scaring people brings me joy.
[hugs Boris, mistaking him for Grandpa Leonard] And this must be the legendary Gramps that Lori's been telling us about. Nice to meet you, sir.
Boris is actually a child, but appreciates the sentiment.
Hey, Carlota. You look stressed. What's up?
I'm just really behind on making everyone's costumes for tonight. I'm never gonna finish on time.
Hmm. What if you had help? Leni is awesome with fashion.
That's a great idea! Babe, would you mind going back to Royal Woods to get her? We'll still have plenty of time for our romantic Halloween celebration.
Oh, it would really help me out, Lori.
[sighs] Of course. Anything to help you guys win. [chuckles]
I have an idea! Lucy can summon a ghost, right, Luce?
I don't think it's a good idea. I once summoned a ghost named Buzz, and things didn't go well. If I try again, I'm sure he'll be the first one through the portal.
Apologies, dear friends. I'm afraid my spell work has suffered since my exile aboard that cruise ship.
[lying on a grave; moaning] Sigh… Big sigh…
Worry not, Lucy. We shall get to the Underworld someday.
It's not that. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my tragic arrival on this Earth.
[confused] Huh?
My 9th birthday.
[Boris plays a sad tune, while the other Morticians approach her for comfort]
My condolences.
How dreadful.
Oh, why must normie society insist on celebrating life?
I'm afraid my birthdays are even worse than a typical normie celebration. Every year, my family subjects me to the same traditions. [Flashback to one of her birthdays; narrating] They start the day at a frightening pitch.
[barge into her and Lynn's room with balloons, noisemakers, and confetti after she wakes up] Happy Birthday, Lucy!
[Cut to later of Rita putting the Loud birthday sash on her, which hasn't been washed]
[narrating] Then they force me to wear the traditional Loud birthday sash. I suspect it's never been washed.
Hey, it's my booger from my 3rd birthday! [eats it, making Lucy gag]
[Cut to the Louds bouncing inside a bouncy house, that's clearly been reused for countless birthdays]
[narrating] Then I'll be subjected to the dreaded bouncy castle, a family birthday staple ever since my dad got it on clearance.
See, Rita? I told you we'd get our money's worth.
[Cut to the Louds singing the birthday song for Lucy at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet]
[narrating] Then, there's the singing. [shudders] Oh, the singing.
[singing] ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
Sigh… finally, the torture ends.
Now in French, les dudes! [starts singing the birthday song in French with the waiters] ♪ Bon anniversaire à toi, bon anniversaire à toi… ♪
Groan… [back to present; the Morticians gasp in horror] I wish my family would just forget about my birthday.
[overhearing Lincoln, realizing he stole the Mummy's cursed ring and cursed the family] MOM! Lincoln stole a ring from the Mystic Mummy of Mystery and cursed our family!
[The other sisters berate Lincoln for cursing them]
Oh, come on!
Seriously?!
Way to go, Lincoln!
Bad Lincoln!
Not to mention the ring is tacky. [lightning strikes close to where she's standing] Sorry, Mr. Mystic Mummy of Mystery, sir!
Folks, I'm sorry. It was a honest mistake. Can't I just put it back?
Unfortunately, no. According to my spell book, once you put the ring on, you activated the curse.
[dismayed] Well, that's just great! I guess we're cursed for life for now! Check that off the old bucket list!
Not necessarily. According to this, there is one way to lift the curse. We'll be able to make an offering to the spirit of the mummy cuz we wanna make an offering to the spirit of the mummy. But we'll gather ingredients for a potion first cuz we want to gather ingredients for a potion first.
I'm sorry. We do not need to have many times for that. We need to get to that barrel race. That mummy is just gonna wait. [tries to head back to Camperzilla, reaches for the door, but lightning strikes, knocking her back on her back] Okay, offering it is.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
