Scenes with Lucy 50
[As the Louds get a view of the city while visiting the Great Lakes City Tower, Carl and Sergio show up there, too, and try to block the elevator]
[in his El Falcón costume while Sergio and his pigeon friends eat a pretzel] Ah, man! You guys got a whole pretzel?! All I nabbed was some peanuts. [drops the peanuts to the ground and annoyingly pretends to eat them, pigeon-style]
[gasps] Carl, too?! They're right by the elevator! How are we just going to get out of here?!
[Lynn spots a window cleaner exiting the platform with his supplies, walking past them; gets an idea; The Louds are all now on the platform holding on to each other a few seconds later]
By my rough calculations, factoring in our combined weight and this platform's capacity, I'm afraid we're… [gasps]
[One of the ropes on the right side snaps, trying to cause it, and the Louds, to slant]
LLucy
[completes the sentence] Maniacs.
[The Louds are watching a jazz band finishing their performance at the GLC park]
[throws up horns to them] You rock! I mean, you jazz. Y-You get what I'm saying!
Well, we did it. We saw everything we needed to see for my article.
Ah, that's a relief. For a second there, I didn't think we'd be able to avoid the Casagrandes.
[sees Hector and Bobby playing their duet on stage; gasps in shock] Is that… Hector and Bobby?!
[whispering] Let's move, people!
[The Louds try to make a run for it, but they see Frida, Rosa, Carlitos, and Carlos having a tamale picnic, and make a U-turn, but also see Carl and CJ playing frisbee]
[The Morticians are all helping Hank with his groundskeeping duties at the cemetery]
HHank
[trimming a grim reaper-shaped hedge] Thanks for your help with all my groundskeeping duties, kids! Now, don't forget, make sure each and every resident gets some TLC.
LLucy
[cleaning a gravestone as Haiku sets down a pair of orange chrysanthemums in front of one] Haiku, Caroline doesn't like mums. She's a lilac girl.
Thank you, Lucy. [switches the orange mums for lilac flowers] I almost made a grave mistake. [she and Lucy both laugh monotonously]
[driving around on a tractor mower] Hang on, Virgil! I'm gonna pop the wheelie! [speed pasts Morpheus]
[annoyed] Stop hogging the mower, Dante! Gah, worst sharer ever! [groans after Dante drives past him again, blowing grass blades at him]
[playing his keyboard] Boris is jamming on the keys. Any requests from the dead? [suddenly trips on a headstone and ends up getting four keys in his mouth like teeth]
[gets up on his own feet and spits out the keys] Boris may just live, sadly. [glances down at the mysterious "unknown" headstone] Oh, I've never noticed that headstone before.
Hmm, neither have I. Hank, who's "Unknown"?
HHank
You got me. I know every inch of this graveyard and I don't remember that grave being here.
[gulps nervously, knowing he was the one who placed it there before] Well, people do kick the bucket all the time, so...
How tragic that someone must pass and remain nameless for eternity.
LLucy
As the Morticians Club, it's our duty to right such ghastly wrongs. I say we hold a séance to find out who rests here, then replace this headstone with one with their name.
[nervously rushes in front of the headstone] No! I don't think we must disturb their own eternal slumber. You know how hard it is to go back to sleep before somebody wakes you up.
LLucy
A valid point, Dante.
[Dante smiles and sighs in relief]
Boris can play him some nice, soothing bedtime music. [plays a daunting tune on his keyboard, making Dante facepalm and groan in despair]
LLucy
Great idea, Boris. All of those in a worse favor? [the other members, except Dante, raise their hands and agree] Let the record show that the motion passes with much enthusiasm.
The spirit is within Dante! Please, tell us your name so we may try to honor you with a new gravestone.
[feigning a ghostly spirit] My name is… [blinks and notices an urn on a statue nearby] Urn-- [then notices a goblin statue's knee] Knee-- [then notices a shovel Hank is using to dig up dirt over a another grave] Shovel-- [then finally notices the cemetery's gate] Gate. Ernie Shovelgate. It's nice of you kids to want to get me a new headstone. But, don't go to all that trouble. I'm really shy, so "Unknown" totally works for me. Okay, well, I got to get back to the other side. [shakes himself and pretends to pass out as the smoke clears; then sits up, acting normal] Wow, I guess Ernie doesn't want a new headstone. Bummer, but what can you do? [realizes] That's a rhetorical question.
You know, whenever it's my favorite mother's birthday, she says "Don't go to all of that trouble", which means, "You'd better go to all that trouble."
LLucy
That's a good point, Haiku. What if Ernie's just being modest? I say we buy him the headstone anyway. After he sees it, I'll bet he rolls over in his grave...in a happy way.
[The Morticians arrive the Cheaper Reaper store to buy a new headstone]
LLucy
[pushing a shopping cart] Okay, everyone, I know the Cheaper Reaper is a veritable wonderland of bereavement in bulk, but we need to remain focused. Persephone, do you have the club money?
I do. [takes out her purse] And thanks to our embalming fundraiser last weekend, it looks like we have enough to buy Ernie a most splendid tribute.
[to Virgil] Whatever we do, we cannot let them leave here with the headstone! [Virgil tries to point up to a sign that reads…] "You break it, you buy it." [gasps] Virgil, that's it! You're one smart cemetery cat.
[As Dante pushes the "unknown" headstone away and heaves the bag out the ground…]
[off-screen] What are you doing?
[Dante reacts in surprise, accidentally launching the bag into the air and it lands in front of the other Morticians, and they all gasp to see what was inside]
It's not Ernie Shovelgate.
[Lightning flashes and Boris plays a note on his keyboard; Inside the bag, was revealed to be three tubs of Auntie Pam's ice cream and an ice cooler]
You buried Auntie Pam's ice cream?
[Dante groans in despair]
LLucy
So, Ernie wasn't real?
[Dante sadly shakes his head in rejection, realizing his secret is exposed]
But why, Dante? Why did you deceive us?
[glances down at Virgil; then confesses] Because… Because I want to hide my ice cream so none of you can have any. It's cookies and scream, my all-time favorite.
Ugh. It's the riding lawnmower over again. I've said it before and I'll just say it once more: Worst sharer ever.
[The other Morticians agree in disappointment over how Dante deceived them]
[upset] Sigh. I know. I'm really sorry. But, I'll just feel better, I swear. As a matter of fact… [lifts up one of the ice cream tub and inhales] Uh… Who wants some… [suddenly snatches it back, growling evilly in selfishness; then inhales deeply] You can do it, Dante. Who wants some of my ice cream?
Oh, Boris has been waiting an eternity for our pizza.
[clears throat] Allow me to help. [flips through the pages of his spell book] Pillows, pinwheels, pitchforks. Ah, pizza. "Sauce like blood and cheese that bubbles, bring our pizza on the double!"
[A green spell wisp zips over towards the pick-up counter where Rusty is waiting in line, annoyingly, and picks up the pizza box]
[gasps as the pizza box flies past him, but smacks him in the face] Watch the hair! [sees the pizza box drifting over to the three Morticians and Lucy and Boris begin eating; amazed] Oh, wow! Hmm… [gets an idea and runs over to the booth] Hey, Lucy, still gothing it up, I see. Anyway, can I get an intro to your wizard friend?
LLucy
[annoyed] Ugh, whatever gets you to leave me alone the quickest. Hey, Morpheus, this is my favorite brother's favorite friend, Rusty.
Oh, great and powerful wizard of 'Za. [bows down to Morpheus] I remember that trick you just did. Very sweet. You wouldn't just have any spells and help me get the high score in Dance Battle? [grins awkwardly]
Ugh, normy dancing. Cringe.
You call this cringe? [shows off his dancing skills, ending with a split] Aw, yeah!
STOP! If I keep this up, I'm going to need a coffin for real.
Well, if you're not gonna work for us anymore, we want our money back!
LLLeni, Lucy, & Lisa
Yeah!
[groans] You guys are right. I never should have borrowed money that I couldn't pay back. [looks at his David Steele action figure, sadly] I know what I have to do.
[Lincoln gathers his sisters (minus Lori) in his room for a meeting]
We just got Lori back. We can't lose her again so fast. There has to be some way to get her to stay.
LLucy
We can lock her in a coffin in the basement.
Or use the numbing properties of jellyfish venom to incapacitate her. [accidentally drops the venom on her left foot, causing her to collapse on the floor due to her leg getting numbed]
Wait, Lori said she was gonna find a realtor. But what if we find her a realtor who only shows her the worst possible places to live?
How are we supposed to pull that off?
LLucy
I'm mortified. How did all of you pass the exam and not me?
All I can say is thank goodness for those SS Fun Time samba classes.
And Boris is aerodynamic because of his hollow bones.
There must be some way to help you pass, Lucy. What about your sister, Lynn? Isn't she…"sporty?"
LLucy
Too sporty, I'm afraid. She'd make me do torturous things, like… sit-ups. No, I need something fast and easy. And that means doing what the Morticians Club does best.
LLucy
Both answers are valid, but I meant magic.
[At the Loud House… the Morticians are gathered in Lucy and Lynn's room with a cauldron for potion ingredients]
[gazing at Persephone's spellbook; amazed] Ooh! I'm lovin' your new spellbook, Persephone. Nothing like real dragon leather.
A birthday gift from my parents. It came in the Sassy Sorceress kit.
[Dante, Morpheus, and Haiku gaze at the sorceress kit in awe]
This next plan should be foolproof. If I make you older, you won't be in fourth grade. Hence, you won't have to take the test. [twirls her wand, casting a magical energy ray onto Lucy; however, it instead turns her into an infant, to the Mortician's horror]
Whoops, wrong direction. [tries again, but this time, Lucy is changed into an old woman, from her earlier vision] Whoops, too far. [tries to change her again but she stops her]
ELElderly Lucy
I have to pee before you change me back. [slowly walks out of her room to the bathroom] Can't hold it like I used to.
[After Lucy swaps Coach Pacowski's coffee with Persephone's potion while he wasn't looking, it ends up transforming him into a lizard]
[takes the bottle out of Persephone's hand and reads the label; noticing something] Um, Persephone, didn't you read this label? "May cause dizziness or lizardness."
[Lizard Pacowski walks off and the Morticians follow him]
[stunned, then fed up] Next year, I'm asking for cash for my birthday. [kicks away the sorceress kit in annoyance and hurries off, catching up with her fellow members]
LLucy
[panting while catching up] Hear me out, what if we don't turn Coach back? No test for me, he suns himself on a rock all day. Win-win. Sigh. Worth a shot.
I don't know anything about harvesting wheat.
Come on, guys. We can figure this out. We just need something sharp. [Lucy takes out her scythe; disturbed] Please tell me you knew we'd be harvesting wheat today.
[The Louds' rental bus enters the spooky shadows of the woods in Transylvania, Romania and everyone looks out the window in fear, except for Lucy, whose enjoying it]
LLucy
Can we please pull over? Look at all this great stuff we're missing.
Sweetie, we agreed to pass through Transylvania so you can see all your horrible, ghoulish sights, but there is no way we're getting off this bus. We don't want to traumatize Lily. [holds up Lily, wearing sunglasses and headphones, listening to some music, keeping her from being frightened of the spooky sights]
Plus, we can't risk being on the road after dark. Everyone knows there are vampires in this neck of the woods. [laughs; playfully elbows Lucy] Get it? Neck? [terrified] But seriously though, I'm scared.
[shudders; to the viewers] That makes twelve of us. The Louds are still double-decking across Europe, and it was Lucy's turn to choose our next destination: Transylvania. [the map of Europe shows their bus leaving the Swiss Alps, then crosses through Austria, Hungary and Serbia, until reaching Romania]
LLucy
Everybody, relax. Sadly, there's nothing to fear. There haven't been any real vampires in Transylvania for centuries.
LLucy
I love the decor of your castle. It's very mid-century goth.
UUla
How lovely of you to notice. Please, come in.
NFNos F
[as the Louds enter the castle] Oh, forgive us, we have not introduced ourselves. I am Nos F Ratu, and this is my wife, Ula.
Nos F Ratu. Why does that name sound familiar? [trips on a coffin and screams]
NFNos F
[holding a candelabra] Apologies for the darkness. Our power goes out when it's vining. [a swarm of bats swoop down and startles the family] We also have a little bat problem.
Little? [chuckles] You know, on second thought…
UUla
[closes the front door and barricades it] No one leaves this house… [the family gasps in horror] without getting a goodnight sleep.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
