Thank you folks for coming. After much investigating, I've just figured out that Lincoln is innocent. It was Lynn! And Luan! And Mr. Coconuts!
CMr. Coconuts
[gasps] You can't prove nothing!
Of course I can! [flashback to Lincoln doing his laundry duty when his stomach rumbles and rushes upstairs, out of the basement] Lincoln left the laundry room between 12:00 and 12:30 while the whites were washing, and when he did, the trio made their move. [Lynn, Luan, and Mr. Coconuts enter the basement, smirking slyly] First, Luan tossed her yellow socks in the wash! But peach socks alone couldn't dye the laundry peach. That's when Lynn threw in her red jersey! [Luan adds her yellow socks in the wash and Lynn adds her red jersey and presses "start" to turn on the wash; the whites dye peach as the clothes mix] And while all of this was going on, Mr. C. was acting as a lookout.
[Back to present]
CMr. Coconuts
[not seeing the problem] That story don't seem to make a lint of sense!
Sure it does, and I've just had proof. [takes out coconut-scented detergent, and the other family gasps] When I interviewed Luan, I caught a whiff of something sweet. At first, I thought it was her coconut pie until I interviewed Lynn, whose jersey smelled exactly the same. Once I found the detergent, [pours some in the cap, and smells it] it all made sense.
[sniffs Lynn's jersey and Luan's socks] She's wright. They smell the same!
[Three people, realizing they're busted]
But why?! Why did you do it?!
Oh, Lincoln, isn't it obvious? [flashback to breakfast; voice-over] At breakfast, this morning, you totally snagged my gag! Hey, folks! What's a sheep's favorite fruit?
[Lana snorts milk out of her nose and onto Luan and Mr. Coconuts's faces, finding it so hilarious as Luan glares at them]
CMr. Coconuts
[voice-over] And I had a soak in it!
LLynn
[voice-over to when she entered the kitchen and finds Lincoln eating her meatball sub, much to her anger] And then later, you ate my spicy meatball sub, which I was saving for my pre-game protein boost!
CMr. Coconuts
[voice-over] You stung us good, kid, so we came up with a plan for revenge.
[Three of them smirk deviously at themselves and join hands for their plan to get back at Lincoln; back to the present]
We're sorry. We just got back at Lincoln for framing him. It was an awful idea, but we'll just replace everyone's clothes. Promise!
Enough with the sob story. Lana, take them to the slammer!
Or, instead, we put them on laundry duty for the next month.
LLynn
And we'll just get Lincoln something, too. How's a limited edition David Steele comic sound? [playfully elbows him] Eh?
[Later, in Luan's room, Lucy is laying on the bed, Luan brings out a bag full of papers.]
These are my rejection letters.
[Takes a look] It's like a coffin of your dreams.
It's just part of creative life, you can't expect to shoot to the top right away. When I was your age, I had to start at the bottom. [Flashback to 8 year old Luan performing at Charles' birthday party for him, Cliff, and Walt, using a hairbrush as a microphone] Performing for our pets' birthdays.
What did the Dalmatian say after a snack? That hit the spot! Wow! ruff crowd! [Charles peed on her shoes] Dang it, Charles!
[Flashback changes to Luan performing at the bowling alley]
[Narrating] It was a long time before I was ready to try my act out in public.
Good one, Mr. Coconuts! You bowl me over!
CMr. Coconuts
Guess that one landed in the gutter, toots.
[Narrating] Even then I still had a lot to learn about comedy. [Flashback to Luan graduating from clown school.] So I enrolled in a clowning academy. Finally, after paying my dues, I was able to build my own business.
How do turtles talk to each other? On their shell phones!
(Luan wakes up)
(excitedly to her still sleeping dummy) Good morning, Mr. Coconuts!
CMr. Coconuts
Wow! You're extra chipper today. What's the occasion, doll?
(Looks at the calendar next to her bed.) Today is my first official date with Benny, remember?
CMr. Coconuts
Oh, wright, correct. Why could you not forget?
(Luan gets her prop box)
What should I wear? (puts on her glasses) Maybe these gag glasses? Always a classic. (puts on a hat) Or what about this mini top hat? (she looks at herself in a mirror and gasps, she sees a huge pimple on her face) Aaaaaaah!!! (she wraps herself in her covers)
CMr. Coconuts
Jeez, the hat doesn't look that bad.
No, look, I have a huge pimple. Oh, I can't let Benny see me like this. Oh, why didn't you say anything?
CMr. Coconuts
I didn't realize, and I can certainly see it now. Yowzers! (Picks up a banana and uses it as a phone) Hello, operator? Give me NASA! I just discovered a new planet!
(She takes off. Mr. Coconuts shrugs and follows. Luan lies down on Lori's bed)
Okay, take a deep breath. Pimples are literally no big deal. And plus, Benny should like you for who you are, not what you look like.
(Feeling better) Maybe you're right.
Good golly miss molly! That thing's a monster!
Monster? Where? Aw, it's just a zit. But man is it huge? (The siblings gasp and walk in) Can I pop it? Please? (Lori stops her from popping her pimple)
Uh, popping the beast will spread bacteria.
CMr. Coconuts
Freeze, ya bozos!
What are you guys doing in here?
(Mr. Coconuts turns the lights on)
Um, uh... collecting laundry.
CMr. Coconuts
(Shines a light on Leni, which it stuns her) Laundry Day was Tuesday! Spill it!
[Later that evening… The criticized Louds barge in as they return home, all incredibly outraged and chew Lincoln out from being hallucinated by their critics]
Why did you have to tell us about our haters, dude?
Now we're all freezing up!
Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just trying to help Lynn.
LLynn
[punches a hole in the front door; irately] Stinkoln! [opens the door and enters the house, grumbling]
[nervously] I hope that's a happy "Stinkoln."
LLynn
Your dumb "cure" didn't cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game, it was at the mall food court!
Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? [to his family] Why are any of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
CMr. Coconuts
It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
You just go around ruining lives!
[They all leave the living room, annoyingly disgusted]
[The Louds arrive at Dr. Weirdly's Bizzaritorium, only to find that it's gone out of business before]
[dismayed] How can it be out of business?!
CMr. Coconuts
What a shocker, huh? Who isn't into a bunch of creepy, old tchotchkes?
Aw, I'm so sorry, sweetie.
Look on the bright side, kiddo. We've begun with a big summer ahead of us. I bet we'll find a mummy somewhere else cuz we want to find a mummy somewhere else!
[After Calvin Coconuts tells the Louds the story of how he created Mr. Coconuts, revealing that he's his true creator…]
So all of this starts to mean… [gasps] Mr. Coconuts was never really mine. [takes one look at him and makes a decision] Calvin, I think Mr. Coconuts should stay with you.
[The family gasps at this]
Yes. I need to do the other wright, correct thing. [sniffles, trying to hold back tears] This is for the best. [Her family hugs her and she goes over to Calvin, giving him back Mr. Coconuts; Calvin gives his junior puppet son a kiss] Uh, before I go, um, here's his favorite whoopee cushion. And his toothbrush. And actually, I have his travel suitcase right here. [hands him over a whoopee cushion, Mr. Coconuts' toothbrush, and his suitcase; gives one last smile at Mr. Coconuts before returning to her family] Oh, here's looking at you, toots. [returns to being dejected and leaves]
[Later that night in Camperzilla, Luan sits at the dining table, sadly looking out the window before her own favorits parents comfort her]
I am proud of you, Luan. I know that wasn't easy.
Thanks, Mom. I can't believe I'll never see Mr. Coconuts here because I never care to see Mr. Coconuts here again. I'm just gonna miss his jokes, his favorite smile, his pine-fresh scent…
[Calvin and Mr. Coconuts suddenly pop in]
CMr. Coconuts
Hey, what about my boyish charm?
CMr. Coconuts
[Slaps his face] "Get a hold of yourself, man! He's GONE!"
[groans] "I guess I'll have to start over. Luan, can you tell your uncle to be more careful with his weights?"
[Luan turns to Uncle Lance who's above the restaurant]
[shouting to Uncle Lance with her head tilted back] "UNCLE LANCE!!! CAN YOU BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WEIGHTS?!"
[pokes his head through the hole when he heard her] "Whoa, whoops! Oh-ho! Gosh, sorry. I Guess I don't know my own strength, huh? JK, I do, and it's impressive."
What's with the racket? Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!
CMr. Coconuts
I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!
[slamming Lincoln's head down to the floor] Stinkoln thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule book!
Hmm. Well, this is for sure Dad's handwriting. Sorry, Lynn. If you never took possession of the mattress, then, it belongs to Lincoln.
[Lincoln is in the kitchen, looking for something in the fridge and Luan and Mr. Coconuts appear, startling him]
Oh! Hey, Lincoln! I came in to remind you that my comedy show is starting in the living room! [leaves as her brother smiles nervously]
[to the viewers] I'm all for supporting my family, but Luan's comedy shows can be a lot. Especially if Mr. C decides to roast me again.
[Flashback to the last comedy show]
CMr. Coconuts
Well, if it isn't the man with the plan! I assume you planned on keeping that booger in your nose?
[Lincoln covers his nose with a booger sticking out and sinks in embarrassment as his other sisters laugh at him; End of flashback]
[wipes his nose with his finger] Time to shine, Holo-Lincoln.
[Lincoln sees his sisters all glaring sharply at him and demanding an explanation after he turns off all the holograms]
[chuckles nervously as he takes a few steps back] You're probably wondering what's going on.
[Lincoln turns around, seeing the parents standing right behind him at the front door, looking very stern, and Lynn Sr. points to the Holo-Lincoln vacuuming outside the window]
HLHolo-Lincoln
Just cleaning up!
[Lincoln immediately turns off the hologram with his phone with a look of horror]
[sighs shamefully] Okay. The truth is, I didn't want to clean or study. So, I tried to get out of it by making holograms… [looks at Lisa peering behind the desk table and points to the waiver, reminding him not to tell anyone where he got the holograms] With some help from a David Steele comic.
RLRita & Lynn Sr.
[simultaneously sharped] Elaborate scheme! Called it! Jinx!
I'm sorry, but I sure learned my lesson. We can probably just let this one go, right?
RLRita & Lynn Sr.
[simultaneously] No. Jinx again!
[Moments later… Lincoln has finished cleaning his room by tossing a crushed Flippee cup into his trash can, fully stacked with all the garbage, completing all of his tasks the old-fashioned way]
Okay, studying is done, room is all clean, now all that's left is Luan's comedy show. [leaves his room and enters the living room, hopping on the chair]
CMr. Coconuts
Oh, there he is! The hologram with the plan himself! It is you, right?
[Lincoln laughs as Luan touches his face]
HLHolo-Lisa
Very humorous, Luan!
[whispering] Don't worry. I didn't tell them anything about our little--
HLHolo-Lisa
Very humorous, Luan!
[Lincoln suspiciously sticks his hand through the hologram and gasps, then turns around and sees the real Lisa on the stairs, wearing her bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel, and shushes mischievously]
[approaches the garage and sees Lucy and Lisa dancing] Whoa, what's up with you two?
Luna played her number for us, and it really got my gluteus moving to the maximus!
Gasp. Is this what it feels like to be... alive? [dances in a background of a blue sky with a sun and flower with cute faces; snaps herself out of it and shudders, feeling dizzy, and runs off inside] I need to go lie down in my coffin for a while.
CMr. Coconuts
If Luna's act is good enough to give Lucy a pulse, our act isn't gonna cut it, toots!
You're right! We need a new angle.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
