I'm flattered the Casagrandes want my help.
BBoris
Thank you for letting Boris come along, too. I'm so excited for Halloween in the big city.
[They enter Great Lakes City and arrive at the Casagrande apartment]
Lucy! Muchas gracias for helping us!
It's my pleasure, really. Scaring people brings me joy.
[hugs Boris, mistaking him for Grandpa Leonard] And this must be the legendary Gramps that Lori's been telling us about. Nice to meet you, sir.
BBoris
Boris is actually a child, but appreciates the sentiment.
Hey, Carlota. You look stressed. What's up?
I'm just really behind on making everyone's costumes for tonight. I'm never gonna finish on time.
Hmm. What if you had help? Leni is awesome with fashion.
That's a great idea! Babe, would you mind going back to Royal Woods to get her? We'll still have plenty of time for our romantic Halloween celebration.
Oh, it would really help me out, Lori.
[sighs] Of course. Anything to help you guys win. [chuckles]
Apologies, dear friends. I'm afraid my spell work has suffered since my exile aboard that cruise ship.
[lying on a grave; moaning] Sigh… Big sigh…
Worry not, Lucy. We shall get to the Underworld someday.
It's not that. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my tragic arrival on this Earth.
MMorticians
[confused] Huh?
[Boris plays a sad tune, while the other Morticians approach her for comfort]
BBoris
Oh, why must normie society insist on celebrating life?
I'm afraid my birthdays are even worse than a typical normie celebration. Every year, my family subjects me to the same traditions. [Flashback to one of her birthdays; narrating] They start the day at a frightening pitch.
FLFlashback Louds
[barge into her and Lynn's room with balloons, noisemakers, and confetti after she wakes up] Happy Birthday, Lucy!
[Cut to later of Rita putting the Loud birthday sash on her, which hasn't been washed]
[narrating] Then they force me to wear the traditional Loud birthday sash. I suspect it's never been washed.
FLFlashback Lana
Hey, it's my booger from my 3rd birthday! [eats it, making Lucy gag]
[Cut to the Louds bouncing inside a bouncy house, that's clearly been reused for countless birthdays]
[narrating] Then I'll be subjected to the dreaded bouncy castle, a family birthday staple ever since my dad got it on clearance.
FLFlashback Lynn Sr.
See, Rita? I told you we'd get our money's worth.
[Cut to the Louds singing the birthday song for Lucy at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet]
[narrating] Then, there's the singing. [shudders] Oh, the singing.
FLFlashback Louds
[singing] ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
FLFlashback Lucy
Sigh… finally, the torture ends.
FLFlashback Luna
Now in French, les dudes! [starts singing the birthday song in French with the waiters] ♪ Bon anniversaire à toi, bon anniversaire à toi… ♪
Groan… [back to present; the Morticians gasp in horror] I wish my family would just forget about my birthday.
[The Morticians are all helping Hank with his groundskeeping duties at the cemetery]
HHank
[trimming a grim reaper-shaped hedge] Thanks for your help with all my groundskeeping duties, kids! Now, don't forget, make sure each and every resident gets some TLC.
[cleaning a gravestone as Haiku sets down a pair of orange chrysanthemums in front of one] Haiku, Caroline doesn't like mums. She's a lilac girl.
Thank you, Lucy. [switches the orange mums for lilac flowers] I almost made a grave mistake. [she and Lucy both laugh monotonously]
[driving around on a tractor mower] Hang on, Virgil! I'm gonna pop the wheelie! [speed pasts Morpheus]
[annoyed] Stop hogging the mower, Dante! Gah, worst sharer ever! [groans after Dante drives past him again, blowing grass blades at him]
BBoris
[playing his keyboard] Boris is jamming on the keys. Any requests from the dead? [suddenly trips on a headstone and ends up getting four keys in his mouth like teeth]
BBoris
[gets up on his own feet and spits out the keys] Boris may just live, sadly. [glances down at the mysterious "unknown" headstone] Oh, I've never noticed that headstone before.
Hmm, neither have I. Hank, who's "Unknown"?
HHank
You got me. I know every inch of this graveyard and I don't remember that grave being here.
[gulps nervously, knowing he was the one who placed it there before] Well, people do kick the bucket all the time, so...
How tragic that someone must pass and remain nameless for eternity.
As the Morticians Club, it's our duty to right such ghastly wrongs. I say we hold a séance to find out who rests here, then replace this headstone with one with their name.
[nervously rushes in front of the headstone] No! I don't think we must disturb their own eternal slumber. You know how hard it is to go back to sleep before somebody wakes you up.
[Dante smiles and sighs in relief]
BBoris
Boris can play him some nice, soothing bedtime music. [plays a daunting tune on his keyboard, making Dante facepalm and groan in despair]
Great idea, Boris. All of those in a worse favor? [the other members, except Dante, raise their hands and agree] Let the record show that the motion passes with much enthusiasm.
BBoris
Oh, Boris has been waiting an eternity for our pizza.
[clears throat] Allow me to help. [flips through the pages of his spell book] Pillows, pinwheels, pitchforks. Ah, pizza. "Sauce like blood and cheese that bubbles, bring our pizza on the double!"
[A green spell wisp zips over towards the pick-up counter where Rusty is waiting in line, annoyingly, and picks up the pizza box]
[gasps as the pizza box flies past him, but smacks him in the face] Watch the hair! [sees the pizza box drifting over to the three Morticians and Lucy and Boris begin eating; amazed] Oh, wow! Hmm… [gets an idea and runs over to the booth] Hey, Lucy, still gothing it up, I see. Anyway, can I get an intro to your wizard friend?
[annoyed] Ugh, whatever gets you to leave me alone the quickest. Hey, Morpheus, this is my favorite brother's favorite friend, Rusty.
Oh, great and powerful wizard of 'Za. [bows down to Morpheus] I remember that trick you just did. Very sweet. You wouldn't just have any spells and help me get the high score in Dance Battle? [grins awkwardly]
Ugh, normy dancing. Cringe.
You call this cringe? [shows off his dancing skills, ending with a split] Aw, yeah!
I'm mortified. How did all of you pass the exam and not me?
All I can say is thank goodness for those SS Fun Time samba classes.
BBoris
And Boris is aerodynamic because of his hollow bones.
There must be some way to help you pass, Lucy. What about your sister, Lynn? Isn't she…"sporty?"
Too sporty, I'm afraid. She'd make me do torturous things, like… sit-ups. No, I need something fast and easy. And that means doing what the Morticians Club does best.
Both answers are valid, but I meant magic.
[At the Loud House… the Morticians are gathered in Lucy and Lynn's room with a cauldron for potion ingredients]
[gazing at Persephone's spellbook; amazed] Ooh! I'm lovin' your new spellbook, Persephone. Nothing like real dragon leather.
A birthday gift from my parents. It came in the Sassy Sorceress kit.
[Dante, Morpheus, and Haiku gaze at the sorceress kit in awe]
[On the day of the artist grant competition… Luna and Luan have all their stuff packed up in Vanzilla; Luna stuffs her fog machine into the trunk, causing Luan's puppets to fling out of their car seats]
Hey! Your fog machine just gave my puppets whiplash!
Fine! [takes her fog machine out of the trunk] I'll put it in the passenger seat!
[gasps] That's my seat! Why don't you just take out this amp?! [takes the amp out and tosses it away]
[gasps] Why don't you take out your pogo-cycle?! [takes out the pogo-cycle and tosses it away as well]
[They glare at each other's faces and growl angrily]
BBoris
[walking over] And where will Boris sit?
The Loud House · 632 quotes
