What a day. One sad person after another.
Rose, you work at grief counseling. What do you expect, comedians?
“The Engagement” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (8), Sophia Petrillo (7), Rose Nylund (5), Blanche Devereaux (2)
Ma, the taxi driver said you promised him a $67 dollar tip!
Don't be silly, I said a $6, $7 dollar tip! Why don't these people learn English if they're gonna live here? This is Miami - I'd have less trouble getting around Ecuador!
Sit down, Sophia. You must be exhausted.
Why? I rode in the cab, I didn't push it!
HHarry
[to Sophia] You must be Blanche's sister.
You must be blind!
[to Harry] Sophia's home just burned down.
HHarry
[to Sophia] That's terrible!
Not to me. It was a retirement home, and you know what they did? They set off the fire alarm, in a retirement home. Who can rush? Half the people have walkers, the other half can't get out of their chairs. But they've got bells going off like crazy! You know what that does to hearts that only beat a few times a week? It's not pretty!
We're going to New York for the honeymoon. I just hope I don't get murdered.
Oh Sophia, did we wake you?
I heard noise, I thought it was robbers, so I hid my jewels. Now I can't remember where.
Ma, you don't have any jewels.
Thank God, because I can't find them.
I know grief. It takes time.
Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit and you're done.
If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days. You put on ten pounds, and it's over.
We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that.
It's these Southern Protestants who make it a way of life.
Let's go out and celebrate.
What, that she came out of her room?
I taught a class today. The finest school in Dade County. Two girls had shaved heads, and three boys had green hair.
CCoco
They're expressing themselves.
Well, I expressed myself. I told them they had to leave. They were too ugly to look at. Now the parents are mad. A father came in in a three-piece suit and defended Tiffany, a bald girl with a nose ring. [looks over Coco's shoulder to see what he's cooking] What's that?
CCoco
Enchiladas rancheros.
Why don't you just shoot me?
Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under eighty are cocaine smugglers.
Tell me, how is Blanche?
She didn't go to work again today. It's been three weeks and she just sits in her room. The museum's gonna fire her.
Well, we've tried everything. Golf, the movies, theater tickets. She wouldn't even budge for Julio Iglesias.
I know grief. It takes time.
Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit, and you're done. If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days, you put on ten pounds, and it's over. We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that. It's these southern Protestants who make it a way of life.
When I go, put me in a steel sack and leave me on the curb next to the cans.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.