I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready... for me money. [the crowd gathers around him] Welcome to Pretty Patties. May I take your money?
We want a refund, Krabs! [crowd form a mob while yelling and protesting in agreement]
Your dumb Pretty Patties turned my face purple! [shows his purple face]
SMScottish Man
Look what I got under me kilt! [raises his kilt to reveal a plaid body, and white underwear]
GFGrease Fish, Female Fish & Frank
And look at our tongues!
[They show Mr. Krabs their respective tongues. They each show a yellow tongue, an orange tongue with green spots, and a tongue that just looks normal]
FFrank
[turns off a light to reveal his tongue is glow-in-the-dark green] We want our money back. All 46,853 of us. [turns the light back on, but Mr. Krabs is gone]
[Mr. Krabs screams and runs, and the crowd chasing him makes a rainbow road]
FFrank
[notices Patrick struggling in the water] Holy cow! Somebody's drowning!
Oh, no, that's not possible. The lagoon is closed.
Dude, get your butt in the water!
If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them.
Help, help! [SpongeBob stands up and takes off his shades] I can't swim!
Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning.
I'm drowning! I'm drowning!
They would have to have crossed the line...
I'm drowning 'cause I crossed the line!
[looks at the angry fish and takes out a pair of binoculars] Okay, I'll take a look, but just to prove to you that... [his eyes become huge and break through the lenses of the binoculars] ...PATRICK ISN'T DROWNING! [sees Patrick drowning]
What do I have to do? Eat one out of the garbage?
FFrank
[with a big belly walks up to the trash can with a partially eaten Krabby Patty] I wish I could eat this, but I'm so darn full. Oh well. [drops the patty in the garbage]
I had to say garbage... but, okay! [runs to the garbage can. He sees the Krabby Patty. He inhales deeply and eats almost everything in the garbage can. When he lifts up his head, he suddenly realizes the Krabby Patty ends up being the only thing left in the garbage. He extends his tongue, revealing all the trash he ate. He spits out what's in his mouth and grabs the Krabby Patty]
Oh no! [runs over and grabs it out of Squidward's hand] What's this doing here?! This patty should be cremated! [runs to the furnace, throws it in, and cries. Squidward walks up] I know you didn't like him, but... it means so much that you came. [runs off and Squidward cries]
FFrank
Yeah! Amazing, isn't it?
FFrank
Yeah. You've seen enough?
Yeah, let's get out of here. [He, Frank, and another customer throw their food on the floor and leave]
Me, too. I'm out. [He throws his food on the floor and leaves like everybody else]
What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving?
This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! [all the other customers argue]
Okay, Okay! You want excitement? What if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box as he falls from it] Huh? Huh?
Sort of the same, really.
Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into a cream pie? [puts a cream pie in place]
FFrank
That, I'd pay to see!
[calling on loudspeaker] Krabby Patties, brand new Krabby Patty recipe, all new, all different, all delicious, try them for free!
NNazz
You can't be serious.
FFrank
[sighs] I'm so hungry, I don't care, I gotta eat something.
[touches her shoulder] Let him go, it's too late.
All new free Krabby Patties!
FFrank
Hey, buddy, I'll try one. What have I got to lose? [everyone gasps as Frank eats half of the Krabby Patty] Dear Neptune Gill Sacks, this is the best thing I every put in my mouth! Yay! [Frank's shirt turns pink, then goes back to normal]
NNazz
Did he just say it was good?
FFrank
[finishes the other half of the Krabby Patty] Woohoo! [Frank dances]
Wow, Frank never dances, it must be good!
[everyone eats the Krabby Patties, Henry-Bart's eyes turn into a thumbs up, money comes out of his skin]
HBHenry-Bart
I'm getting something this amazing for free! How much will this buy? [Henry-Bart throws money on SpongeBob]
FFrank
Yum yum! Yum yum yum yum! Yum yuuuum! [goes like a rocket; to SpongeBob] Hey you, patty boy, take my wallet, I gotta have more! [Frank goes in the stand and takes two Krabby Patties]
NNNat and Nazz
[their heads turn into arms and give a high-five] Now that's what I'm talking about! [their heads turn back to normal, they get a briefcase from their pockets]
Here's our life savings! Just give us more Krabby Patties! [Nat and Nazz dump the money on SpongeBob]
[cut to Plankton talking on a cellphone]
Don't worry, Karen, I'll be home before lunch time. My mission here is accomplished. [laughs, and then a dollar bill lands on Plankton] Ooh. What the... huh?! [gasps]
[to the customers] No, wait! What's going on? You hate Krabby Patties, remember?
DTDump truck driver
Wowee, this thing is right tasty.
[a dump truck prepares to dump money] Uh-oh. [the money lands on Plankton]
[a helicopter dumps a bag full of money on SpongeBob. Mr. Krabs is just walking and then a dollar lands on his nose. His eyes pop out and he screams so loudly, Plankton comes out of the money]
[while running towards the mountain of money] Money, money, money, money, money, money! [Mr. Krabs jumps on the money and laughs]
We did it, Mr. Krabs! We saved the Krusty Krab! All I did was sell the same old Krabby Patties, and call them new!
Do you mind? I'm trying to make a money angel here.
Ooh, money angels! Can I make one?
Sure thing, SpongeBob. Hop in!
[Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob laugh as they make money angels; they hear a high-pitched shrill coming from Plankton screaming because Mr. Krabs is sitting on him, and stop]
Hm. Good point. [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob continue laughing as the episode ends]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
