Plankton quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

[thunderclap] Sure! I can get rid of those nearwhal nimrods for ya. [chuckles] Their stupid family has being feuding with my stupid family for years!

Narlene

Oh, I've seen it. Them Plankton sure know how to hold a grudge! [Her, Nobby, and Plankton agree]

Ah! [pulls up an old phone and spins the handle]

Clem

How do?

[terrified yelling] Nearwhals!

Nearwhals? Nearwhals? Nearwhals? Feud!

Voilà! Hm, huh?[Plankton's cousins come out of the phone and walk on him, SpongeBob, Narlene and Nobby hide behind a rock]

Get them nearwhals!

[dancing until he sees the plankton] Huh? [Plankton jumps and start biting them]

Consagrn nearwhals! [plankton start biting the nearwhal] Give 'em the itch, plankton! [they start biting the nearwhals]

SpongeBob

[The F.U.N. song starts playing on his headphones and splashes the windows with soap. He grabs the hose and it spins him around] Whoa, whoa! [Spraying the water to the soap in the letters] F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me! [Sprays water inside him and he inflates to the third window and sprays out water to make an N] N is for anywhere and anytime at all! [point the hose up]

Eh? [the hose water splashes him and turns into a hand and slaps him.]

SpongeBob

Down here in the deep blue sea!

[falls and tries to swim back up from the hose water but he falls into the sewer] Aah![Plankton comes out of a faucet and lands on Bubble Bass' toothbrush] Ooh!

Bubble Bass! Are you brushing your teeth?

Bubble Bass

Yes, mother! Ugh.

[Smells Bubble Bass' breath and gags. Bubble Bass starts to brush his teeth] Oh, no.

Bubble Bass

[While brushing his teeth, Plankton is grunting inside. He brushes his tongue, and his teeth and spits out. His teeth are then shiny.]

[falls down the drain until he ends up in a sewer] Yuck! This place is filthier than the bathroom in my own paternity house. Time to get outta here! [The sewer starts shaking] Aaah! Terrified, mind blank, possible wetting pants! Wait, I don't wear pants. Oh, lucky me! [an alligator appears behind him and Plankton whimpers until a group of chum scare it away] That's right, you better run! [looks behind him] Huh? [The C.H.U.M.S appear] Terror double ! Please, I'll do whatever you say! Just down hurt me! [Starts crying]

[bows down] We would never hurt the master! [The other C.H.U.M.S. bow down along with the leader]

Wait, what now?

We are praising you, the master creator! [They and the other C.H.U.M.S bow down]

Come on Krabs, there's gotta be some use of this stuff we can agree on![has an idea] Let's sell it to the military! Imagine... [imagines a thought bubble] fuel for flame throwers, lubricant for killer robots, bombs that smell like french fries! [chuckles]

We'll use it to boost business at the Krusty Krab [imagines a thought bubble]: A flavorful new sandwich topping, a savory new milkshake, and a lovely new scent for the restrooms!

[blows the thought bubble with a flamethrower] Oh no! We're not using my grease to drive customers to your restaurant! [Mr. Krabs starts growling at him] Why I outta!

Why, you! [they start fighting]

SpongeBob

[takes and pours grease user a saucer into a bucket] Oh, gosh! I don't see why you need to find just one use for this stuff. I started using it for everything!

[they stop fighting]

Huh?

Wha?

SpongeBob

[A montage of him] Toothpaste, body wash, deodorant, shoe polish, all night face mask. Gary's breakfast, my own breakfast. It even cured my bursitis! What I mean is, if you can use it for anything, why not sell it for everything? [Mr. Krabs and Plankton's eyes turn into money signs]

[reading along with his finger] Dr. Krabton's Miracle Everything Juice. Not bad.

Squidward

Fellow sponge sufferers, the 431st "We Hate SpongeBob" club will now come to order. [bangs the gavel] And now, our motto.

[raising one hand] We don't mean SpongeBob any harm. We just can't stand him.

Squidward

Does anyone have any new sponge pain they would like to share? [The members stick their hands out, all talking over each other]

Mrs. Puff

How much time do you have?

I do!

Bubble Bass

Oh, yes. I do.

I have to unwrap my package of pain!

Squidward

Huh? [the members retract their hands as Squidward motions for them to stop] Hold that agony. [looks to his right to see SpongeBob at the window]

SpongeBob

Hello, Squidward!

Squidward

[grunts, pulls the window blinds down, then faces the group] Proceed.

Eat him! Eat him!

SpongeBob

[gets an idea] Ooh, I know! I'll try the soothing power of music... [gets out a ukulele with "Love" and a heart symbol written on it and starts playing a tune] Ohhh... [The ukulele strings break off as he uses the pick on a first try] Awww, rats! [The usage of "Awww" triggers the robot and causes him to eat SpongeBob, who falls inside and screams until he lands on his face. He gets his face up off the ground and looks around in confusion. Everyone is cheering upon his arrival]

Yeah, yeah, good boy!

SpongeBob

A surprise party... for me?!

[gets off from underneath SpongeBob and grunts] This isn't a party, you boob.

SpongeBob

Well why did everyone cheer when I showed up?!

Because with you, we can finally reach the emergency escape uvular! [Mr. Krabs points up to the uvular] Alright, let's try it again, people! [Everyone (including the Hook Fish, the goth fish, Mama Bass, Don the Whale, Fred, Tom, Sandy, Larry, Pearl, Mrs. Puff, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Mutton Chop, Officer Nancy, Patrick Star, The Vetenarian, Reg, Carl, Turtle Girl, Gale Doppler, Green Fish, A Cafeteria Lady, Popeye Fish, Male Mayor Fish, Female Mayor Fish, Lady Upturn, etc.) piles up again]

He can do it! He can do it!

We did it! We escaped!

[shown between Mr. Krabs' butt cheeks] And I got us sent to Glove World! for free. You're wel-come!

[walks into the E.V.I.L. lair] Hello? [laughs] I'm here to join the forces of E.V.I.L.![Plankton walks into the audition room, and Dennis appears handing him a clipboard.]

Dude.

Huh, wha-?

Sign in and wait your turn.

Red leather, yellow leather.

Get out of the car, fellas!

Take all your money and put it in the bag!

No, Mr. Bob. I expect you to fry. [cackles]

When the full moon rises...

Tattletale Strangler

I am the Strangler! [clears his throat] I'm the Strangler.

What is this yellow thing? Some kind of mold?

To be or--line!

[throws his paper and uses a mallet to smash a watermelon] Ha.

Karen

[folding Plankton's underwear] Alright, Plankton, I managed to fit twelve changes of underwear in the suitcase. Will that be enough?

I'm gonna be gone for three days, Karen, so yeah, that should cover it. [laughs as Spot licks him] That's right, Spot. Daddy has to go to the Annual Doomsday Device Expo in Shell City. He's gonna find you an ultimate evil. Yes he is.

Oh, it's over. I'm coming home early.

Karen

[on phone] You're what?

But I bought the most evil world-conquering device I could find. [holds a sphere with runes on it, and souls escape from it] Anyway, [puts away device] how's my little Spot? Put him on the phone. I miss his voice. [The scene cuts back to Karen, where she is stopped at a crosswalk as Spot moves past her.]

Karen

Put Spot on the phone?

SpongeBob

Whoa!

Karen

This phone?

SpongeBob

[whimpers] Ooh. [lassos telephone straight onto Spot, crushing him, Spot is on phone, barking]

[cutting back to him] There's my wittle man. Sounds like Mommy is taking good care of you.

[holding onto tiny suitcase with tongs] Hey, some idiot left this tiny suitcase next to an open flame! [drops tongs and suitcase] Oh, no. [The building explodes, causing everyone to scream and leave.]

Uh, gotta go. [runs off]

[walking with doomsday device] I gotta be careful with you. [laughs] One wrong move and you'll blow the whole ocean sky-high. [laughs, notices Spot] Huh? [Spot barking happily]

Huh, the good times never last. [screams and runs away as the Chum Bucket and Spot crush him] Ouch! [Spot continues growing, catching the attention of others.]

Huh? [murmuring]

[escaping Spot] Karen! [SpongeBob, Karen, and Gary come out of spot] None of my sticky notes said to turn Spot into a behemoth!

Karen

Well, this wouldn't have happened if [points to Plankton] you had trained him properly.

I'm a busy man. [waves finger at Karen] You should've been following my instructions.

Karen

Excuse me? I am your computer wife, not your computer maid!

[whimpering]

Karen

[off-screen] I slave all day over a hot keyboard-- [An open shot of Earth is shown as Spot continues to grow larger.]

[off-screen] Oh, so everything is my fault! It's all ones and zeroes with you, honey. [being held by Karen] You probably made Spot bigger than me on purpose...

SpongeBob

Ooh! [holds bone] Aha!

To make me feel small!

SpongeBob

[calling] Spot?

[notices bone] Ah!

Karen

Your mouth is the biggest part of you-- [off-screen, Spot gets excited and licks his lips] Everything about you is small.

[off-screen, Spot tries to reach for the bone] My heart is big.

Karen

My mother was right, I should not have settled.

SpongeBob

Look!

[look at Spot, Karen's screen turns into a question mark] Huh? [Spot starts barking, pushing towards them]

Karen

Spot! I think he's... dividing.

Aww, he doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight. Come on, boy. Come to Papa. Come to Daddy.

Karen

Come on, boy!

SpongeBob

Come on.

Gary

[meowing]

Spot! [Spot lands on top of Plankton.]

[picks up Spot] Aww. [gets licked] Aww.

Karen

[picking up Plankton and Spot] Oh, I can't stay mad at these [touches Plankton, screen turns into heart] cute little faces.

Well, I'm still a little mad. [Spot licks him, both laugh]

Petunia

[takes away the KK's flowers, one by one] Pardon me, huh? Pardon me, huh? Pardon me, huh? Pardon me, huh?

Squidward

Huh-m..Ohh-aaahhhh.... [looks love-smittenly at Petunia]

Petunia

[enter's SpongeBob's workplace] Pardon me, huhhhhh?

SpongeBob

Don't forget this! [holds it and points his spatula at a bomb]

Petunia

[grabs away bomb] I'll just freshen these florets and bring them right back, huh-huh? [rips away flowers and runs to defuse them]

[quietly talks to Squidward] I wonder what's wrong with Petunia.

Squidward

Huh? Nothing's wrong with her! She's a perfectionist, like me! [hops onto his cashier stand] I'm in love with her, and I can't keep it a secret any longer! [rips open his shirt and runs to the Flower Pot] Petunia! [quietly laughs]

Petunia

[gasps as she runs to the pot] I've got exactly one minute to defuse these bombs-

Squidward

[disrupts Petunia's escapades and is seen standing at the Pot] I picked this begonia from my own flower garden, huh? [blinks cutely]

Petunia

Oooh, that's a nice one, but I can't right now Mr. Tentacles, please step aside! Mmmm.... [grunts as she holds the bomb]

Squidward

[holds out the begonia ring] Petunia the florist, will you ma- [Petunia explodes in Squidward's face, leaving him charred and stunned] Huh-huh?! [The begonia ring disintegrates into dust.]

You loopy, lovesick lummox! You sabotaged my whole plan! [Squidward groans in embarrassment, walks off, and rubs out a pile of sand over himself to make it look like a grave. A new flower pops up while doing so.] Woah! [spits and hops out of Petunia] Uh-oh... [A crowd angrily surrounds Plankton.]

[growls] Not only did you play with Squidward's heart- [scene cuts to a sand-covered Squidward] but ya cost me twenty-four bouquets! I say we step on 'im!

Yeah! [subsequent angry noises]

Oopsy-daisy, huh?

SpongeBob

[picks up Plankton with his shoe and cries happily] Petunia was very nice but I'm so glad you're back, Plankton.

Thanks, Sponge-Boob. You've given me the greatest gift I could ever ask for - just enough time to do this! [The Flower Pot transforms back into the Chum Bucket.]

Karen

[grabs Plankton back into the Chum Bucket] Let's go, buttercup.

Toodle-loo! [evilly laughs] No more flowers! It's back to the secret formula to me! [laughs again, but a spiked shoe flies at him] My iris!

[throw out objects and make angry noises, although SpongeBob seems to avoid committing to any violence, Laser guns pop out of the Chum Bucket.]

[lasers are shot in their direction] Ahhhhh!

I'm back, baby - huh?

SpongeBob

[points up at a tree] Ooh, look! Bananners! Hmm... [detaches his arm and flings it to the tree like a boomerang] Nyaa! Fwaa! [The banana ends up in SpongeBob's possession.]

Finally, some grub!

SpongeBob

Let's eat!

[Banana is unraveled.] Mama!

Awwww! [SpongeBob and Plankton perk up and look above them.]

Eeeh?

Roar!

SpongeBob

[gives back the baby banana and chuckles, making scared noises]

Rrrrr... [picks up SpongeBob and rips him open like a banana.]

Sandy

Congratulations, Plankton. But remember, this technique is to be used [points] strictly for self-defense.

Oh, of course, Sensei Sandy. [leans in] Uh, wink? [takes off gi] Buh-bye! [laughs]

SpongeBob

Uh, Sandy? [zoom out to show Sandy standing on him] Could you give me a ride to the hospital?

Sandy

Whoops! [steps off him] Oh, sure, SpongeBob. Heh-heh.

Bad news for you, Plankton. [gets closer to Plankton's face] I don't have any feet!

[stunned] You what? [A close-up on Mr. Krabs' feet is shown, but they are very messy. The right foot has plasters and grease, while the left foot has barnacles and grease. A foghorn plays in the background.] Just my luck, I guess.

[sighs] Six to eight weeks before I can attack the Krusty Krab again. Oh, well. At least I'm not in traction anymore. [a wheelchair wheel rolls over him] Augh!

SpongeBob

Oh, boy! Only six to eight weeks before I can work at the Krusty Krab again! [Sandy pushes him forward]

Ouch! Ka-ra-tay is a pain in the-- [gets squished against the road] ouch!