Plankton quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

[as Plankton stands up and tries to keep his balance] Legs ain't your problem, honey. If you want to tango, you got to learn to dance with your [moves hips] hips.

With my lips? [live-action close-up of him moving his lips] This isn't working.

Karen

[eyes roll off her screen] Ugh.

That's because I said hips! Watch me. All you got to do is... [moves hips]

Karen

Wow, your hips are so hip. You got your work cut out for you, Sheldon.

My hips can't do that.

Of course they can. You got to force them to do it. [holds onto Plankton and Karen] The tango is physical, [dances with Karen] emotional, and most importantly, [pushes the two out of the way] aggressive.

What?

Aggressive? [grinning evilly with Karen] Now you're talking my language.

Karen

Yeah, we speak fluent aggression.

Good. Tap into that aggression and put it in your [flexes arm] hips. Now, abrazo. [slams hands together] Embrace!

[grabbing onto each other] Abrazo.

[phases through the Chrome Bucket as a chrome orb] Sheldon, welcome home.

Karen, is that you? I see you've had some work done.

Uh-huh. And that's not the only work I've been doing.

Ooh. [rubbing hands] Have you completed some kind of deadly destructive robot?

Negative. [displays an easel] I have been working on my art pieces. [sprays a gray background with two squiggly lines] I'm quite successful, in fact. [A couple appears.]

Oh, honey, [pointing] this would match the couch in the living room.

We'll [holds up chrome money] take it. [Future Karen takes the money, then the couple walk off with the painting]

SpongeBob

[points up] That cloud looks like an elephant fish.

[points] That one looks like an iron maiden.

SpongeBob

[points] That one looks like a baby jellyfish.

Ooh, [points] that one looks like a depth charge. Thank you, SpongeBob, for a truly wonderful day. [gets up] I had a lot of brothers and sister growing up, but never one who was actually nice to me.

SpongeBob

Little brother, I'm ready.

Ready? Ready for what?

SpongeBob

[stands up holding the brotherly love meter] We're real brothers now. [tosses away meter] I'm ready to share my deepest, most secretest [Plankton's pupil turns into the secret formula] secret. [Plankton forms an evil expression] I swore I'd never tell it to anyone. Oh, but I'm nervous. Could you go first?

Of course. Anything for my brother. Eh. [pacing] I put on a gruff exterior because I don't want the world to hurt me. But deep down, I'm afraid I'll push everyone away and end up alone. [looks up at SpongeBob, whose sad face is shown in a close-up]

SpongeBob

Well, thanks very much for sharing that, little brother. Now it's my turn. [inhales deeply] No one is supposed to know this, but--but--

Yes? [holds out pen and notepad] Yes?

SpongeBob

My tie, it's-- [holds out his tie, which is revealed to be a clip-on] a clip-on!

[points with pen] I knew it! Wait, what?

SpongeBob

I never learned how to tie a tie! Look at it! Look at it! [holds tie in front of Plankton and rubs it onto him] Look your eyes upon my accursed shame! [breathes heavily, wipes sweat] Whew, sure felt good to get that off my chest.

That's it? That's your secret? [grabs eye] Are you kidding me?

SpongeBob

Yep, that was it. Wait, are you upset?

You're darn right I am! You were supposed to tell me the secret formula! Nobody cares about your tie!

SpongeBob

The secret formula? That's what you wanted to hear? Oh, I can't share that. [pokes head] It's locked in my brain box.

Well, then, [holds up chainsaw] I'll use this key to unlock it! [laughs evilly, SpongeBob shrieks, Plankton laughs evilly even more, then is taken away by Harold, swinging around while being held]

Harold

Oh, boy, I was afraid of this.

Margaret

[holding the basket] It looks like you two just weren't made to be brothers. [shakes head] Such a shame.

[Harold places white clothing onto him] Hey, what are you doing?

Harold

Well, the only thing responsible parents can do--making our child someone else's problem. [places Plankton in the basket, then he and Margaret take off]

SpongeBob

[waving] Bye, Plankton. I really liked having you as a brother.

Yeah, well, I hated every minute-- [Harold puts a pacifier in his mouth, which he sucks on, Margaret places Plankton in the basket in front of the Star family house, rings the doorbell, then he and Margaret quickly leave]

[answers the front door with Cecil] Why, look, Cecil! It's a baby boy.

Fantastic! I've always wanted our son to have a brother. Oh, Patrick!

Patrick

[opens the top window and jumps out of it, taking Plankton with him] All right! Let's play checkers! [spits out a checkerboard and hits Plankton against the board repeatedly] Checkers! Checkers! Checkers!

Ouch! Ow! [Patrick giggles, injured] Oh, brother.