[At the start of the parade, the Krusty Krab float is between Fred's leg float and a jellyfishing float with a robotic Kevin. Mr. Krabs is on top of the formula bottle and SpongeBob is at the deep fryers.]
Boy, after seeing this float, everyone will rush to the Krusty Krab! How ya set up with those [points down] expired fries, boy-o?
SpongeBob[takes out baskets] Good and greasy, boss! [puts baskets in grease]
[squished inside the patty] No, I'm not! I can't see a thing with SpongeBob in front of me!
Excellent! It's our turn. Let's move it out! [The float crashes through the "Parade Start" banner. Bubble transition to the float for Larry's Gym moving past. Two strong fish are lifting weights.]
Next up we have the Beefy Bros from Larry's Gym. Whoa, look at those meatheads pump iron.[Larry lifts up the float and laughs] That's some impressive muscle hustle![An inflated Mrs. Puff floats down the street, being carried by kids in small boats.]
And here comes Mrs. Puff. Oh, as her own balloon!
Whoa, I want that balloon![Patrick's rock slides past, making a scraping sound.]
Patrick's rock is one float that doesn't float.
AAudience
Aah! [covers their ears, Bubble Bass gestures on top of the Invisible Boatmobile with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.]
Oh, looks like Bubble Bass has hitched a ride with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. And what's this? [Fred rides by in a float of his leg.] Not to be outdone, it's Fred in his incredible My Leg Mobile.
My leg! My leg! I'm in my leg!
[sniffs and inhales Perch's hair] I smell grease!
Oh, that's not me you're smelling, King!
[while sliding down backwards] Don't worry SpongeBob, it's just Bread Man's Hill.
SpongeBob
That's not Bread Man's Hill, it's [points to the hill as his pupils turn into skulls] "Dead Man's Hill"!
Wait, is that worse? It sounds worse? [he looks down to the hill, with numerous spikes and coral] It is worst! [turns around and dodges a tree.]
[In Patrick's POV, a cyclist is shown bicycling up the hill then drifts to the left, a cave dweller roars at Patrick but he rides under it, and a ship zooms by with a skeleton holding a sword cackling]
SpongeBob, I'm doing it! [laughing] I'm bicycling!
[SpongeBob and Plankton walk through what seems to be a jungle.]
SpongeBob
[points up at a tree] Ooh, look! Bananners! Hmm... [detaches his arm and flings it to the tree like a boomerang] Nyaa! Fwaa! [The banana ends up in SpongeBob's possession.]
SpongeBob
Let's eat!
BBBaby banana monster
[Banana is unraveled.] Mama!
SPSpongeBob & Plankton
Awwww! [SpongeBob and Plankton perk up and look above them.]
MBMother banana monster
Roar!
SpongeBob
[gives back the baby banana and chuckles, making scared noises]
MBMother banana monster
Rrrrr... [picks up SpongeBob and rips him open like a banana.]
SpongeBob
[singing] Sandy's in the kitchen with SpongeBob, we're in the kitchen, we two! Sandy's in the kitchen with SpongeBob, making nuts on the barbeque!
[laughs, then grabs his hand] You heard the boss man! Tell me what's what.
SpongeBob
Well, this here is where the magic happens: the grill. Heh. [SpongeBob puts his hands on the grill, burning them. He screams in pain and then giggles. He dots out a red rectangle in front of him.] As long as the sacred space is respected, the kitchen will remain in perfect harmony.
Not to worry! We'll be like two crickets on a fiddle in here.
[rings bell and holds orders out] Here. Knock yourselves out. [SpongeBob takes the orders] Please. [SpongeBob reads the orders. Sandy has already fired up her barbecue and is cooking three nuts with tongs.]
Already on it! So how many nuts should I fix up?
SpongeBob
Nuts? Oh, sorry, Sandy, there must be a mistake. These are all for Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob
Happy friend-iversary, Squidward! [blows a party horn with confetti at him. Squidward spits out the confetti]
SpongeBob, what time is it?
SpongeBob
It's one minute after midnight on the day that we first met. [grabs a book] It's all here in my Squidward memory book.
SpongeBob
[sits down next to Squidward and flips through the pages] Here's us at camp. Here's when I moved in right next door. Oh, and here's when I got Employee of the Month instead of you again. Here's one I took a few minutes ago. Look at you. Just like an angel.
[swipes the book away] All right, that's it! [throws SpongeBob out of the door] Get out! [kicks SpongeBob out]
SpongeBob
[waving] Okay, see you around, friend. [scoots on his butt back to his house] ♪Friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend, friend-iversary!♪ [enters his house]
[The "Friendiversary" banner falls onto Squidward. Bubble transition to Squidward using a dustpan and broom to clean up the party decorations. He then takes the trash to his trash cans outside, to which SpongeBob startles him.]
SpongeBob
Happy friend-iversary! [Squidward screams and jumps into the trash can] Remember the first time I startled you into this trash can?
SpongeBob
Oh, good morning. You must be the new cashier. Nice to meet you. [continues cooking patties]
I can't believe it. It worked. [to SpongeBob] Uh, have we met before?
SpongeBob
I don't think so. Maybe we can chat later, huh? I'm kind of busy right now.
This is the best day of my life!
[walking to the register] Hmm, you seem weirdly happy for some reason. What's going on?
Last night, I erased all of SpongeBob's memories of me. Isn't it wonderful?
You WHAT?!! [grabs Squidward] Are you insane, man?! [grumbles and takes Squidward to his office]
[Squidward, with his face turned into a deep shade of blue, gasps for air as Mr. Krabs lets him go.]
To keep Plankton from scanning me mind, SpongeBob is the only one who knows the [bangs safe] combination to the secret formula safe! [strangles Squidward] And because he never wanted to forget it, he attached it to a memory he had with you, Mr. Squidward! I want you to un-erase his memory right now. [hollering] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob
[appears, saluting] Yes, Mr. Krabs.
[putting his hands on both of them] Spend the afternoon with Mr. Squidward here. He's gonna share some precious memories with you.
SpongeBob
Oh, no thank you. I don't know this guy. He's a stranger. [to Mr. Krabs] Confidentially, he looks a little boring.
You go with him. That's an order.
SpongeBob
[saluting] Yes, sir.
[Mr. Krabs growls as Squidward takes SpongeBob outside.]
SpongeBob
So what are we doing now, new guy?
We're going to recreate your lost memories of me, so you can remember the combination of Krabs' safe.
SpongeBob
Huh, sounds crazy-pants, [shrugs] but okay.
Well...oh! Maybe SpongeBob could give you the ol' [makes eating motions with hands] bite and chew.
KPKrabby Patty
[opens SpongeBob's mouth]
SpongeBob
Ahh.
KPKrabby Patty
[looking inside SpongeBob's mouth] Great teeth, [SpongeBob's tongue turns into a flexing bicep] healthy tongue... [minty breath comes out of the mouth and kisses it] Minty-fresh breath. Spread my ketchup, the perfect mouth! It would be an honor, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob
[eyes tearing up] Oh, no, Krabby Patty. The honor is mine.
KPKrabby Patty
Bon appétit, friend. [SpongeBob picks it up and starts putting it to his mouth]
Halt! [kicks SpongeBob out the way with his butt, picks up Krabby Patty] I deserve this patty. I'm clearly the hungriest. [holds out belly, then gets hit with pie, The clown picks up Krabby Patty and honks his horn. The other candidates start fighting over the patty, creating a fighting cloud.]
SSSpongeBob and Sandy
[backing away, but get dragged into the cloud] Whoa! [The fighting cloud jumps all over the place, while Squidward is ignoring the fight. Krabby Patty crawls out of the cloud.]
KPKrabby Patty
[last words] All this for little old me. Ha-ha. Why, if you'd told me when I was a lifeless pile of ingredients that someday I'd... [Gary eats it, everyone stops fighting]
Welp, I guess it got what it wanted.
SpongeBob
So, Gary, [nudges Gary with elbow] how was it?
SpongeBob
Wow.
Halt! [points to Sandy, everyone else angry] I blame the squirrel for this fracas. She made us turn on each other with her wicked, wicked science. [everyone starts shouting at Sandy]
Well, science giveth, and science taketh away. [uses her Anthropomorphizer to turn a barrel sentient and rides away on it] Take me away, science. Yee-haw! [The customers all continue shouting at Sandy as they start chasing her. The camera irises out as the episode ends.]
[face palms and sighs] When I said your true spatula was inside you, I meant it was literally inside [opens SpongeBob's face like a cabinet to reveal a spatula inside of him] you.
SpongeBob
[grabs the spatula and closes his face like a cabinet] Woah, it's beautiful! [sheds a tear]
Er, you might wanna wash that first.
Have you ever had to handle hot change? [close-up of claws, which have coin indents on them]
SpongeBob
Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I guess we got carried away watching our animal double-gaggers all day.
[suddenly waking up] No, I believe it's pronounced bubble hangers.
What are you [facepalms] barnacle brains blabbering about?
[looks around and sees a thermostat] Hmm. That thermostat, that'll do. Now all we need is a distraction.
SpongeBob
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs! [takes out two ice cream scoops] I've got it handled. [jumps out and poses] Ta-da! [plays the spoons to upbeat music] Oh, yeah! Check me out! Uh-huh, uh-huh.
GGGreen goon
It's so lame, but I can't take my eyes off the guy!
GGoobfather
I can feel the rhythm of his scoops in my soul!
SpongeBob
Oh, this is the tricky part!
Goobfather and Mr. Krabs': The Ice Cream King!?
[speaking through megaphone] Cease your hostil-lily-- hostile-- quit fightin'! Ice cream isn't meant for brawling! It's supposed to bring sugar fueled fun, belly aches, and brain freezes to the world!
GGoobfather
We shouldn't be fighting.
There's plenty of saps-- er, customers in town for both of us. [Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather eat their weapons and hug.]
And if you don't quit fighting, I'll use my ultimate weapon, the ice cream bomb!
GKGoobfather and Mr. Krabs
Ice cream bomb!?
GGoobfather
We've already stopped fighting!
What? I-I can't hear you! Uh, hold on, I'll be right down. Bombs away! [hits button and rides down on a giant popsicle, waving his crown] Whoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Yee-ha-haw!
[The ice cream bomb lands on Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather and explodes, covering Bikini Bottom in ice cream. Squidward screams as he is sent through the air. A guy eats the ice cream.]
GGuy
Hey, everyone, free ice cream! [Kids dive into the ice cream and eat it. SpongeBob and Patrick eat it.]
[with a wheelbarrow full of ice cream] Free ice cream forever! [giggles]
[pops out of ice cream and laughs] You're welcome!
[turns up the thermostat and laughs] This'll sizzle their sorbet.
SpongeBob
Try and keep up, y'all! Oh, my scoops are on fire!
PGPurple goon
His funky scoops are so smokin' hot, I'm sweating! [as his ice cream melts]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
