Guru Greasetrap quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Guru Greasetrap

Remember, every cut is sacred. [karate chops]

SpongeBob

[tries to chop a piece of wood but he shatters entirely. He then picks up some logs]

Guru Greasetrap

Do not carry the wood; let the wood carry you.

Guru Greasetrap

Don't worry, Guru Greasetrap knows a shortcut. Close your eyes.

SpongeBob

Ooh, i love suprises! [covers his eyes with hands]

Guru Greasetrap

[kicks SpongeBob] Surprise! [SpongeBob falls from the mountain as Guru Greasetrap returns to watching television as the game show dings and buzzes are heard "The Price is Right!']

Guru Greasetrap

[face palms and sighs] When I said your true spatula was inside you, I meant it was literally inside [opens SpongeBob's face like a cabinet to reveal a spatula inside of him] you.

SpongeBob

[grabs the spatula and closes his face like a cabinet] Woah, it's beautiful! [sheds a tear]

Er, you might wanna wash that first.