Most-quoted character in SpongeBob SquarePants: in 691 of its 1,068 quotes Most scenes with: Patrick (271), Squidward (234), Mr. Krabs (181)
Lines by Abrasive SpongeBob 49
SpongeBob
The Plan Your Own Party Kit warns that unsupervised parties can lead to disaster. That's why I've taken the liberty of devising a schedule: 8 o'clock to 8:05: Guests arrive. 8:05-8:15: Opening remarks and general discussion. 8:15-8:27: Craft corner, followed by name tag distribution. At 8:27, we begin the qualifying rounds for our cracker-eating slash tongue-twister contest. 9:07: running charades. 9:38: charity apple-bob. 9:57: Electric jitterbug dance marathon, ladies' choice. [winks] At 10:09, things start cooking as I dip into my world-famous knock-knock joke vault!
[reading a book] And slowly, ever so slowly, the ancient crypt door creeps open, and from the festering brine of the darkest darkness, crawled forth monsters of such vile nature, whose appearance was so hideous and threatening, that the author died trying to recount them in this novel! [gasps and closes the book] That story sure is scary. But it's only a story, right, Gary? [A terrified Gary quakes and falls on his side. SpongeBob picks him up and puts him into his bed next to him.] Why don't you sleep up here tonight, Gary?
Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this? [makes a loud bass sound] And then turn into one of those songs that goes… [emits a high pitched screech loud enough to shake the camera and temporarily incapacitate Plankton]
[SpongeBob ends his shift at the Krusty Krab, not realizing that everyone's gone.]
SpongeBob
Slow day. Good night Squidward. Good night Mr. Krabs.
[Door opens, revealing that Mr. Krabs is not in there. Cuts back to SpongeBob's house at night.]
SpongeBob
Gary, I'm home! Gary? You here buddy? [walks into the kitchen, realizing that the big pile of food is still there] Gary? [gasps] He hasn't touched his food! [runs over to Squidward's house screaming, and then pounds frantically on the door] SQUIDWARD! OPEN UP! [door opens by itself] Squidward, Have you seen Gary?! He's gone missing! [no answer] Squidward? Not a sign of Squidward anywhere. Squidward? [walks upstairs] You up here? Hmm, Squidward's clarinet. [puts the clarinet in his mouth a few times] It's not even warm. SQUIDWARD'S MISSING TOO! [runs over to Patrick's house] PATRICK! Open up! Squidward and Gary are missing!
[SpongeBob lifts up Patrick's rock, revealing that there's nobody there.]
SpongeBob
[shocked] Patrick's gone too. What if everybody's gone?
Wow, Squidward, listen to you! You're getting better already! Here we'll help. [he and Patrick raise their slide whistles...they go around the hospital playing the slide whistle to CPR, a guy on a ventilator, and Gill Gilliam stitching Nat up]
[Floating gently down] All is fair in love and war my friend slash enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy!? [presses a sand button where a jet fighter resembling an F-16 hovers in midair until SpongeBob lands in the cockpit. It then starts chasing Patrick's robot head] Let's have some real fun! [Presses a button that launches two missiles that fly towards Patrick. Patrick screams as he turns his robot head away from the missiles]
Ahh. I can rest so peacefully, now that Gary's got a good pal they could play with.
[Just as he goes to sleep, Gary bursts through the door, scared and meowing in alarm, causing him to wake up with a start.]
SpongeBob
Gary! Shame on you! [takes Gary back in the living room] Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless. [he takes the blanket off, revealing what he thinks is normal Puffy Fluffy] See there he is fast asleep. Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please? [sets Gary back on a small green bed and covers him with a small blanket] Good night. [goes back to bed]
[After SpongeBob wakes up and notices the damage to the house, thanks to Puffy Fluffy]
SpongeBob
Hmm, that's interesting. Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh, well, what are you gonna do? [opens the galley door which falls over] That's unusual. WHOA! [sees the library which is a total wreck] My library! [gasps] And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut! [gasps] My clothes! [picks up his torn pants] This was no random sea quake. Who could've done this? There was no one here except for... [mistakenly realizes something] ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend.
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
SpongeBob
