Eric Cartman quotes from South Park

Cartman

[repeated in a Latino accent] How do I reach these kids?

Cartman

Kenny, you're gonna let a girl put her mouth on your wiener? Do you know how disgusting that is? Girls' mouths are full of germs!

Cartman

Well, well, well, here he comes, it's B.J. McKay and his best friend Bear.

Cartman

Who is the Coon?

Cartman

Dude, it's Puff Daddy!

Cartman

[repeated line] Da fuck?

Cartman

[on Stan's assertion that he doesn't get 'underwear blood' when eating Chipotle] Well, how nice for you, Stan. You may have a Golden Rectum of the Gods, but the rest of us need Chipotl-Away!

Cartman

[over the microphone]STAN. ME AND KENNY DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT STUPID. ASS WHAAAAALES.

Cartman

[to the tune of Poker Face] I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be

Cartman

The only people who need to dress up and be as loud and obnoxious as possible are you guys and 16-year-old girls. Just wanted to you let know, you're fucking fags.

Cartman

Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic, and making the world safe for pedophiles?

Cartman

As the Coon explains how the disaster can be stopped something terrible happened. The Coon friends changed and their superpowers morphed them somehow turning them into super villains! The Coon try to reason with them. Try to bring them back to the side of good but it was too late.

Cartman

(In Southener Accent) This country was founded on the ideas that one corporation coundn't hog all the slaves, while the rest of us wallow in poverty. Screw you sir, I'm going home.

Cartman

[turns around] Alright, y'all, keep your eyes peeled and your guns ready. [spits something out, wipes his lips clean with the back of his shirt sleeve, and returns to patrolling the border] There's a heap of Mexicans out there who want nothing more than to sneak past our border, and we've got to stop them!

Cartman

Not now, Mom! We're playing Texans versus Mexicans! Gah! [turns to the boys on the ground - Clyde, Craig, and Timmy] All right patrol, you all know the drill. Not one Mexican is to get past this border! Not a single one! Yee-haw!