Hey, wait! I think that's teacher's penis!
Your teacher's penis?
Yeah, that must be his.
[concerned] Butters, how do you know what your teacher's penis looks like?
[puzzled] Huh?
“Eek, A Penis!” · Season 12, Episode 5
In this episode: Eric Cartman (3), Kyle Broflovski (1), Butters Stotch (1), Mr. Garrison (1), Stephen Stotch (1), Mrs. Garrison (1), Mickey Mouse (1), Alan Thompson (1)
[talking about middle-grade school students] Dude, you know what they're going to do to a middle-class white boy like you? They're going to end you. You only have one shot or your ass is on the line, good luck on that.
[Kyle, Stan and Kenny walk away]
Maybe he's right. I'd better be careful, however. [later, Cartman is in the bathroom cutting his hair, then we cut to some scenes of a high school]
MMrs. Miller
Students, quiet. Quiet, please. [someone throws a spitball at her] Give me your attention.
HSHigh School Student
I'll give you my attention, all night long, Mrs. Miller. [everyone laughs, except Mrs. Miller]
[passing out papers to the high school students] And pass it to the amigo behind you.
HSHigh School Student #3
Hey, man, what the heck do you think you're doing?
HSHigh School Student #4
Yeah.
Mr. Cartmanez is here to make sure you all get into college.
[Outside. The penis-mouse climbs along items behind the restaurant and runs along the top of a wooden fence. The camera follows it past the moon in the distance. The mouse stops and looks at the moon; Singing]
Someone somewhere is loving me tonight. Looking at the same moon and seeing it so bright.
PPenis
Someone somewhere is feeling my despair
Feeling my despair
PPenis
And this same moon is
BBoth
making them think of that-.
There it is!
[repeated in a Latino accent] How do I reach these kids?
The key difference between men and women is that women can have babies. If you can't have babies, then you're a man.
Whoa, wait, hang on a second. My wife had ovarian cancer, so she can't have babies.
Well then get an AIDS test Thompson, 'cus your wife's a dude. Faggot! Yeah! I'm back!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.