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S14 E13

South Park · Season 14, Episode 13

“Coon vs. Coon and Friends” quotes from South Park

4 quotes

“Coon vs. Coon and Friends” · Season 14, Episode 13

In this episode: Mysterion (2), Toolshed (2), Eric Cartman (1), Stan Marsh (1), The Coon (1)

[When the boys are talking about their superpowers]

What's your superpower, Mysterion?

I can't die!

Oh, yeah, good one! Mysterion can't die and Iron Maiden is indestructible--

No, Stan, I'm being serious. I really, REALLY can't die!

(laughing) What?

Like last night in the alley! The cult leader stabbed me and I bled all over the place and you screamed "Oh, my God!" and you (indicates Human Kite) called him a bastard.

HKHuman Kite

When was that?

All the time! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!

I think we would remember you dying, dude.

Well, you don't! I die over and over! Only to wake up in my bed like nothing happened.

Dude, you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch. He's peed his pants.

MBMint Berry Crunch

No, no! Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!

(disappointed) I knew there is no point in telling you guys.

HKHuman Kite

OK, dude, let's just say you're not crazy and it's true. What's the big deal? I mean, I think it'd be pretty cool not being able to die.

(furious) Pretty cool?! Do you know what it feels like to be stabbed?! To be shot? Decapitated? Torn apart? Burned? Run over?!!

Kenny, Kenny, calm down!

It's not pretty cool, Kyle! It fucking hurts! And it won't go away and nobody will believe me! Remember this time! Try and fucking remember!

(Takes a gun and shoots himself.)

As the Coon explains how the disaster can be stopped something terrible happened. The Coon friends changed and their superpowers morphed them somehow turning them into super villains! The Coon try to reason with them. Try to bring them back to the side of good but it was too late.

[Sometime later the boys are talking about their next move for a good deed]

[annoyed] You guys have no memory of me shooting myself in the head, do you?

[laughs] What?

[After Bradley has vanished off to his home planet]

F**king Mintberry f**king Crunch.

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