[Lip comes downstairs to kitchen heavily bruised] Whoa, what happened to you?
One of my fighters pussied out. I had to fill in.
Looks like the pussy had the right idea. Get some ice on that eye.
[She comes downstairs] with a clipboard Good morning. We're out of mac and cheese. I can make PB&Js instead, but I'm gonna need more bread.
...
[Debbie pours herself a cup of coffee and Fiona objects pointing] Whoa, half a cup.
Exhausted. Liam had me up half the night banging his head. I need my own room. And I want a pony for Christmas. He's a boy, he should be with the boys.
No way, there's three of us in that room.
I'm a girl. I'm gonna be a woman soon. I need privacy to undergo the upcoming traumatic transformation.
IanWhat we talking about?
Moving Liam into our room.
Ian
No fucking way.
First daycare kid is here. My own room?
It's not gonna happen, Debs. Go, go.
Ian
Traumatic transformation?
[Showing a couple of brochures] What the hell is this?!
Ian
It's a mission packet.
Ian
You're going through my stuff now?!
Ian, you just graduated the tenth grade!
Ian
I wanted to see what it would take to get in.
What, to West Point? You're kidding me? You're actually serious about this shit?
Ian
Well, I was in ROTC for two years, so what do you think Lip?
I don't know, I thought it was some kind of stupid fucked up adolescent phase, I mean you really want to get your ass shot off in some-some Stan somewhere?
Ian
Stan?
Yeah, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqistan...
Ian
I guess I'm a patriot!
[Ian and Mandy are waiting for Mickey outside a prison]
Here he comes. You know, you didn't have to come with me.
Ian
Bad neighborhood.
We live in a bad neighborhood.
Ian
Yeah, but we're related to the bad people in our bad neighborhood.
The hell's he doing here?!
Hey, Mick. He thought I needed protection.
Oh, yeah? Trust me, you may think you know my sister, but you don't know my sister until you've fought my sister.
Ian
She's protecting your ass.
You smell like barbecue sauce.
Smell like what?! [Gets Mandy in a headlock]
No titty twisters now that I'm a C cup! Ow!
C cup? Bitch, you wish. [Turns to prison staff and yells generally waving both middle fingers] Hey, fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you.
Ian
All right, Jesus, let's get out of here before they throw you back in.
CEChicago El man
My wife says it's bad luck to put your purse on the floor.
CEChicago El man
Like throwing money out the window. You should pick it up.
...
Now I know why they call it a world-famous salad bar.
Have this one, King Henry. [They trade plates]
What was the final tally in the purse?
Five hundred and twenty-six bucks.
Ian
Jesus. Who carries around that kind of cash?
Ian
In our neighborhood?
I was in Glencoe having coffee with a friend.
That guy from your diary?
Shut up and eat your spaghetti taco.
You think it's real? And if so, can I have it?
It is. The LV's are two inches apart, seams are even, stitching's yellow. And the leather has turned dark brown from oxidation. I read a lot.
Debs, have more salad. It's all you can eat.
In parts of India, they leave dead bodies on the street to be eaten by vultures.
EEthel
I can't wait to die.
EEthel
To be closer to God. If it weren't a sin, I'd kill myself so it could happen sooner.
Hey, Fi, you know what you should do?
Here. Found her home number. [Calls phone] Tell her you found her purse. I bet she'll give you a reward. [Hands phone to Fiona]
Ian
Can't believe you're cock-blocking Karen.
She has no cock. How am I blocking it?
Ian
Let her go, man.
What do you want? Huh? You wanna marry her? Be with her forever? I'm looking out for her. She's my best friend.
Ian
I'm your best friend. She's your fuck buddy.
You're my brother who should shut the fuck up.
Ian
Friends want what's best for each other.
This could be the best thing for Karen.
Ian
You know what's best for everyone?
The kid who wants to die for a country that thinks he's one of God's mistakes?
Ian
A shrink said I'm one of God's mistakes.
The girl has "whore" tattooed on her arm. She put my dick in her mouth.
Ian
What?
You need to shut the fuck up.
Ian
So what? You get her to dump the guy, stick around for when Carl gets his first woody, so she can work him too? [Lip roughly forces Ian aside and walks out the room]
I already had my first woody in history class, talking about how Marie Antoinette's head got chopped off.
I know what's going on here. Saw it with my own boys. [Ian coughs] One of the lions has to leave the den. Strongest one's gotta push the other one out or eat him. Only one way to resolve this. Somebody's gotta bleed. Fight it out. See who's alpha wolf.
Ian
I'll kick your ass.
No knives, no guns, no bricks. Just fists.
Ian
Labor Day. I work till five.
Six, then. Under the 'L'.
Maybe it has something to do with the pillow on your face.
I gotta pay the property tax.
All right, come here, come here, come here.
Stop poking me with that thing.
Thought you liked me poking you with this thing.
What was I thinking? [Sighs exasperatedly]
[Fiona is in the shower and he sits on the toilet] Is this about the club thing?
I woke up having a panic attack that I was just like Frank and Monica taking our money, except I wasn't even getting high with it.
You know, you're gonna throw a kick-ass club night. You gotta be entrepreneurial, right? Invest in yourself.
Are you taking a dump right now?
Like clockwork, every morning.
What, I can't take a dump in here?
[Grabs towel] Not in front of me you can't.
Yeah, and now I'm out of the shower.
I wouldn't care if you took a dump in front of me.
[Sighs and opens door with Lip, Ian and Carl running frantically in hall] Oh! What's going on?
Frank drunk looking for a bed!
Ian
We begged her not to.
He's not hot-bunking my bed.
Why can't he sleep out on the porch? It's warm enough.
It's okay, Daddy. You can sleep in my room.
Wouldn't do it, Debs. He's especially ripe this morning.
Frank smells like dog piss.
Not dog piss! Gary the homeless guy.
Come on, Daddy. Sweet dreams, Daddy.
[Shoves him in chest] I'll hose it off after he wakes up.
Ian
Debs, don't let Frank in here anymore.
This is his home too. He disappeared for months. And now he's back. [Shoves her way past] Excuse.
...
Hey, Daddy. Brought you breakfast. And the newspaper. Good to have you home. Can you help me with my social studies project? It's on the civil war. Gotta build Lincoln's log cabin.
Too much noise. [Shoves her away] I need peace and quiet. I'm trying to sleep. [Debbie looks at him looking cheated]
Shh, shh, shh. You all packed?
Just staple some sheets together.
This camp's got a rifle range and woods all around a lake. I'm definitely gonna kill something, like a grizzly, mountain lion, maybe a tiger. Or I might just go in the canoe and shoot some fish.
Cancer's opening up a whole wonderful world for you, a world your other siblings will never get to experience. But they don't know that this camp is only for kids with cancer, so, like I said before, you must keep that secret. Are you still someone I can trust?
Why am I the only one who caught cancer from Grammy?
Life is rife with questions that baffle. All we can do is carry on.
Time will tell. But don't you worry. I'm working on a cure.
...
Ian
Carl, what are you doing?
Ian
These are Lip's sheets.
Ian
All right, take my ROTC sleeping bag, huh?
Ian
Yeah. I'll grab it from upstairs. Why couldn't you win a raffle for camp when I was little, Frank?
Fortune dispenses randomly. I hated camp. [To Carl] Don't listen to Jamie, Carl.
[Lloyd visits Ian at work at Kash and Grab]
LLloyd
Can you forgive a man who's falling apart? A little?
Ian
Yeah.
Ian
No.
LLloyd
Just a little. So listen. Um, I need somebody to rob my house, and I'm hoping you could help.
Ian
You want me to rob your house?
LLloyd
Candace changed the locks on the house. My goddamn house. And she won't let me back in, so I need someone to steal my stuff. If I do it, the neighbors might recognize me. You go in during daylight hours, and you look like movers. You'll be fine. Look, she stays up till 3:00 a.m. Drinking Stoli' Vanilla and watching Bowflex ads. She'll be unconscious until well past noon. Okay, this could be very lucrative for you. You can take anything you want. Come on, it's all insured. All I want are my two armani suits, My Lucien Freud, and my bottle of 1990 Chateau Latour Pauillac. What do you say? Will you do it?
Shameless · 903 quotes
