Mandy Milkovich quotes from Shameless

Mandy

Get your guard up, Lip. Kick him back. You're punching like a fag.

Mandy

[To Ian] Wipe off that fucking look on your face. A Gallagher looking down at me, I don't think so.

Lip

Nice jacket Kash bought you.

Ian

Thanks.

Mandy

Yeah. Tell Kash I'll take it in the ass if it gets me free stuff.

Mandy

Here he comes. You know, you didn't have to come with me.

Ian

Bad neighborhood.

Mandy

We live in a bad neighborhood.

Ian

Yeah, but we're related to the bad people in our bad neighborhood.

Mickey

The hell's he doing here?!

Mandy

Hey, Mick. He thought I needed protection.

Mickey

Oh, yeah? Trust me, you may think you know my sister, but you don't know my sister until you've fought my sister.

Ian

She's protecting your ass.

Mandy

You smell like barbecue sauce.

Mickey

Smell like what?! [Gets Mandy in a headlock]

Mandy

Oh, ow!

Mickey

What did dad tell you?!

Mandy

Ow!

Mickey

Fuck the police?!

Mandy

No titty twisters now that I'm a C cup! Ow!

Mickey

C cup? Bitch, you wish. [Turns to prison staff and yells generally waving both middle fingers] Hey, fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you.

Ian

All right, Jesus, let's get out of here before they throw you back in.

Lip

[Walks up to Mandy at her locker and squeezes her rear] Nice ass.

Mandy

[Scoffs and shoves him] thought you were my history teacher Mr. Crouch. [They now walk down hall]

Lip

Well, sorry to disappoint.

Mandy

Hey, how was community service?

Lip

Yeah, good. I met some North Side kids. Think I can make some dough off of them.

Mandy

Cool.

Lip

Yeah, gotta do what I can with my sister stealing a bunch of our property tax money.

Mandy

Well, that was cunty of her. You know, you should be in charge of your family's money, Not Fiona.

Mr. Gallagher, just left Mr. Healey's office. Rumors about you two true? Said you were supposed to ask me for a recommendation.

Lip

Sure, in his mind, I was supposed to do that.

A letter of recommendation from a science teacher looks good on your college applications.

Lip

[Opens door to classroom] Bet it does. [Lip and Mandy go in classroom]

[Mandy knocks on door] Come in. [Mandy enters room] Oh, surprised to see you at the college counseling center, Miss Milkovich.

Mandy

Came to talk to you about Lip.

I'm not at liberty to discuss another student, but I'd be more than happy to help you with your future options.

Mandy

[Scoffs] please. You and I both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested, so cut the crap.

Okay. Then Lip. He's got a good chance of getting out of here.

Mandy

And what are you doing about it?

Encouraging him to go to college. Doesn't seem to be too interested.

Mandy

You're a guidance counselor. Fucking guide him.

There's only so much I can do.

Mandy

What should he be doing?

Keeping his grades up. Getting teacher recommendations, finding himself a legitimate job, filling out his college applications. Now, you think you can help with any of that?

Mandy

Maybe.

All right, stop by at the end of the day, I'll post some college brochures, you can take them with you. I think you have a better chance of getting through to him than I did, Lysistrata.

Mandy

What?

Show up for English once in a while, And you'll get the reference.

Mandy

All right.

Mandy

[knocks at Blake's front door and she appears] You Blake?

[shakily] Yes.

Mandy

You're moving now, Blake. You're moving tonight.

Excuse me?

Mandy

I don't excuse you, you sick bitch. I don't excuse you 'cause you're hot or 'cause you're blonde or 'cause of what you've got between your legs. Come take a look. [Mandy leads Blake to two men digging a rectangular hole] You see that? They're digging your grave. And you want to be gone before they get down to six feet. How's it going, boys?

Good. We dug the Berlanti grave in what, two hours? But this dirt is nice and soft, going a lot faster.

Mandy

Tick-tock, kid-fucker.

Fiona

Debbie, that is not the outfit that we picked out for your first day, and you are so not leaving here in that.

Debbie

I borrowed it from Mandy.

Fiona

Clearly.

Debbie

You do realize that I'm in middle school now, right?

Fiona

Yeah, not stripper school. Go change.

Fiona

Mandy, she's 13. She's not working the bedroom at the Mustang Ranch.

Mandy

Yeah, like you never wore a short skirt when you were her age.

Lip

Jeez, Fi, she's just trying to help.

Fiona

Can you take Liam tomorrow?

Veronica

Not sure. Those fruits of Islam people on 4th have a free daycare. If I say I hate whitey, I bet they'll watch him for a few hours. So is Lip getting serious about Mandy "Skankovich"? [Mandy appears behind her]

Mandy

Nice. [Goes up stairs]

Veronica

Oh, shit, Mandy, I'm sorry. You know I would have never said that to your face. Should I apologize or leave? I'm gonna leave.

Mandy

I don't understand.

Lip

You really don't get why I have a problem with this?

Mandy

No.

Lip

Really?

Mandy

No!

Lip

Ian, do you get why I have a problem with this?

Ian

Not getting in the middle.

Mandy

Why are you being such a dick about this? Those applications are 90 pages long. It took me forever to fill them out.

Mandy

Walk. The fuck. Away.

Lip

Wow. You're--

Mandy

What? I'm what?

Lip

You're not my mother. You're not in charge of who I talk to or who has a picture of me on facebook. And you're sure as shit not in charge of if I go to college!

Mandy

You think he's right? Men are never right. That's why women were invented, To think for you assholes.

Lip

You, um- you plagiarized Nelson Mandela.

Mandy

Who?

Lip

The MIT Application essay.

Mandy

Oh, you think I should have wrote it myself?

Lip

No. I think you shouldn't have Applied to colleges for me without asking me.

Mandy

I did ask you. I asked you, like, 100 times to get the applications in, And you ignored me.

Lip

For a reason.

Mandy

What reason, that you're an idiot? That you want to waste your life laying around In this shit-hole neighborhood forever? You have any idea how much stuff I had to steal and sell to pay those application fees? It was a huge pain in the ass, and I did it for you. So you could be a little bit nicer about it. You know, you might even want to say thank you.

Lip

Thank you. [They make passionate love]

Lip

You use that Mandela speech in all the applications?

Mandy

No, mixed it up a little bit. Couple of dead presidents and some guy called "Gandy."

Mandy

Gandhi?

Lip

I don't get why you'd want me to go to MIT. You know, Boston's pretty far away.

Mandy

I thought maybe you'd take me with you, but--

Lip

But what?

Mandy

No one's ever been as good to me as you have. You're better than this neighborhood. You're better than anyone I've ever met. And you deserve to get out. Even if you don't take me with you. Which I never really thought you would anyway.

Mickey

What did you hit?

Mandy

A girl from school.

Mickey

[Pause] Make sure you check for hair behind the grill.

Debbie

Ian's still missing. Have you heard from him?

Debbie

Nothing? Not even a call or a text?

Mandy

Sorry. [Mandy's face seems to say "How naive are you? Can't you tell that I want you to go away?]

Debbie

So you want to know how Lip's doing?

Mandy

Not really. [Mandy's face says "I can't possibly care less about that douche]

Debbie

He's in college.

Mandy

[Mandy puts on a forced sarcastic smile] Good for him!

Mickey

This is a bunch of bills, chink delivery menus and press-on-nail coupons. What mailboxes you robbing? Dearborn projects?

No, apartment complex over by Rush. There's an ATM card.

Mickey

Congratulations. It has no fucking pin number. What are you gonna do, rob the same mailboxes every day until they send the pin? [Makes a look of absolute disgust to him]

Mickey

[To Svetlana] Hey, you. This is all you made yesterday?

Svetlana

I give you everything.

Mickey

All $220?

Mickey

How many Johnsons did you squash?

Svetlana

17

Mickey

That's, like, 12 bucks a wank! [To Mandy] Who was at the door?

Mandy

Debbie Gallagher.

Mickey

What'd she want?

Mandy

She was looking for Ian. Seen him?

Mickey

Why do you care?

Mandy

I don't. Said Lip was doing good in college.

Kenyatta

Oh! Shit!

Mandy

You've got to be kidding me! [Smashing glass is heard with all the Russian women and Mickey at alert]

Kenyatta

[Runs out of room nude and down hall] Ah!

Mickey

Uh, 'scuse, hey, you mind not swinging that shit around?! You're gonna fuckin' hurt someone!

Mandy

[Comes up to Mickey's face pointing a hammer in his face] This is your fault!

Mickey

Mine?!

Mandy

I'm practically tripping over these bitches. I want them gone, now! I was gone ten fucking minutes!

Mandy

My mother's heartbroken. My father, he started drinking again. And my brother, he won't listen to reason. Why would he choose faggotry over his family? Why?

It's a sin that destroys, Mandy. And you have to cut that sinner out of your life.

Mandy

I'm just under 30 days clean. And I still think about using every day. Because it's a constant temptation. Like a yearning. I feel it in my stomach and my skin.