Peg Gallagher quotes from Shameless

Peg

[Holds up a jar] What's that? What's it look like?

Carl

A finger.

Peg

Yeah. [Holds up a gun] You can touch it, but never put your finger on the trigger unless you're gonna shoot someone. You like secrets? So do I. Hold out your hands. [Gives Carl the gun] Our little secret, all right?

Sheila

There are important decisions to be made. This money comes with responsibility Can you run downstairs and ask Jody for the paprika? Trusts, tax evasion, liquidity.

Frank

As soon as Eddie's claim is settled and that check comes, we have to--

Sheila

Frank.

Frank

What?

Sheila

I can't let you be in charge of Eddie's insurance money, sweetheart. You're an alcoholic.

Frank

I wasn't talking about me.

Sheila

Okay.

Frank

Did you think I meant me?

Sheila

No. We need a highly experienced professional.

Frank

Yeah, that's right. And for the record, many great men have been well-lubricated. Henry Ford, Scott Fitzgerald, David Hasselhoff... they all kept a bottle close.

Karen

Mom?

Frank

Beethoven's Fifth. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Frank

Eat me. I say eat me. I'm done taking your shit, you got it? I am a grown man, this is my family not yours. You're a piss poor excuse for a mother. I was hoping you would die in prison. You make my life a living hell and I want you out of here now.

Peg

Good for you, it's great to get that stuff out. Feel better?

Debbie

Are you looking for the Sunshine Adult Daycare? It's up at the church.

Peg

Honey, only time I wanna go to the church is if I feel like getting molested.

Peg

I know what's going on here. Saw it with my own boys. [Ian coughs] One of the lions has to leave the den. Strongest one's gotta push the other one out or eat him. Only one way to resolve this. Somebody's gotta bleed. Fight it out. See who's alpha wolf.

Ian

I'll kick your ass.

Lip

Won't last two minutes.

Peg

No knives, no guns, no bricks. Just fists.

Lip

Tomorrow?

Ian

Labor Day. I work till five.

Lip

Six, then. Under the 'L'.