Red vs Blue Season 2 quotes

Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank.

Sheila! You're fixed! You're fixed!

Hello Private Caboose. It is good to see you again. Thank you for repairing me.

He didn't fix you, a robot did it.

Don't cock-block me!

No! Heauegerkergerk!

Hey Church, you okay in there? Church. Do I need to flip your switch? [Church reappears in the back round as in his ghost form]

What the?! That wasn't me! What the hell is going on here?! [Lopez turns towards the Blues]

Well, buenos días cock bites. Guess who's back?

[Ghost Version] Get out of my body, Right NOW Tex!

[Inside Lopez's Body] This isn't your body. I stole it!

Yeah, but I stole it first!

I am confused. I thought your name was Lopez. And I thought you were a man. This is all so strange. I feel like my circuits are crossed. And I like it.

Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.

Well, ever since I've been a ghost, I've been watching you guys A LOT.

Whoa, when you say you've been watching us, does that mean you've been watching us all the time. [Tucker faces a rock what says on the back of it "KEEP OUT! TUCKER'S ROCK!"] Like even when we're alone?

Yes Tucker. And you should be VERY ashamed of yourself.

[Tucker faces the ground] It's very lonely out here.

Well Tex, that was a great story. I especially like the part where Church got pants'd in High School.

I found that part entirely out of context.

But I still don't get how we're suppose to stop the AI.

I don't remember much from the implantation process. I do remember that can be transmitted from host to host by the helmet radios. Before I learned anything else, the AI took over and we escaped. If we can kill the AI and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat it.

And then I can get my body back. Deal?

Deal.

Alright, Tex and I will possess Caboose now. Tucker, we need you to work on the reds. Get them to turn off their helmet radios so Omally won't have anywhere to go, once we get him out of there.

Right.

What?! How the hell am I going to do that?!

I don't know. Come up with a plan.

Come on. You know how I feel about plans.

You're not going to have much time when we get in there, so move fast.

Oh, I see. You have no idea of what I should do, or how I should do it, but what ever I do, I should do it fast?

Yeah, that's right.

Yep.

Wow. You guys are a lot of help.

Hey Tucker, is that you?

No. What, are you stupid? Oh wait, yes, I am me. I guess I'm stupid.

I see. So you're from the outside. That's where the other is from as well.

The other? Wait, you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him?

Of course he's seen him, you idiot! You think Mr. Caboose would miss something like that, you sleazy douchebag fuck?!

Hold on a second. Who the hell are you?

My name is Church, butt-wiping ass-munch!

[To Tex] This guy's kind of an asshole.

Yeah, we've met.

And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up, you lip-lipping fuck-suck!

Okay, there's a lot of stuff in that sentence I didn't like.

Just play along, Church. We're gonna need this guys if we're gonna find O'Malley.

I'm gonna go look for girls.

Right. I know it was Tuesday, because that's the day I washed my underwear. And since I don't like to let my armor touch my bare skin, on the account of I chafe really easily, I remember thinkin', [turns towards the Warthog] "Where can I hang out with no pants on?"

[horrified] Oh God.

I can not take any more of this.

So after I clipped my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended, but I don't know. It just smelled really funny. So, I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.

That's it. I'm committing suicide. [Walks away]

Hey! I didn't finish retracing my steps yet. You don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh.

Oh my God. I can't believe Caboose is smart enough to drive this thing and I'm not. Sheila, how the fuck do I slow you down?

Retard, the throttle.

What throttle? This throttle?

Retard, the controller.

You mean this thing? What are you talking about? I'm so confused.

The controller, retard.

Hey, that's kind of insulting.

Retard. Retard. Retard.

Oh, come on, now you're just being mean.

Retard. Retard. Retard. Retard. [short pause]Retard.

Okay Lopez, get inside Sheila and do your business.

What?!

Estoy consiguiendo muy sudoroso. (Translated: I'm getting very sweaty!)

Oh my God. Remind me to hose you two off when we get back to base.

Sarge

[commenting on Lopez's singing] Whats on the radio now? It sounds like the feral cry of a retarded mexican sasquach!

TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!! PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!

Aw man, this rules! RULES!

You're not Caboose's best friend, okay? You don't have a best friend. You know why? You don't need one! You're Church! Knowing other people just waters down the experience! Live the dream, buddy!

Alright, O'Malley, this is it. From now on, if anybody makes my girlfriend cranky and psychotic; it's gonna be me.

Aww, that's sweet.

Shut up, Bitch.

Asshole.

Hello, dude? Come in. Doctor-Dude, are you there? Hello? Paging Doctor-Dude, to the radio, STAT. I need 20 ccs of 'what the hell's going on there', dude.

Ugh...what happened?

Hey, you tell me dude. One minute we're talking about a hole in the wall; the next thing I know, you turn into Grumps McGurt. Sounded like you needed a lozenge. Threatened to eat my children... not very cool, dude.

Jeez, did I really? I'm sorry. Something went wrong with my radio and I heard this weird beeping, honking-

Hey, no offense taken, dude. Don't got any kids anyway.

What?

'Ol Vic's been through the snip-n'-stitch, if you know what I mean.

I don't wanna hear about that-

Winky-Blinky the One-Eyed Sergeant's firin' blanks-

That's weird-

-if ya get me. It's vayo con dios to the vas deferens.

Yeah, alright. Enough. I get you.

I mean a vasectomy, dude.