A character in Red vs Blue
Caboose
Red vs Blue · 504 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Red vs Blue: in 150 of its 504 quotes
Most scenes with: Leonard Church (82), Tucker (66), Sarge (23)
(Limping back to base) Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Church, you're home! Welcome back.
Yeah, yeah, thanks for helping me while the Red's just shoot me in the goddamn foot.
Yeah, well you told us to stay on the cliff and I did...Yeah that was helping.
Oh really? Then why aren't you on the cliff right now?
Oh, I thought the helping part was over.
Okay, Caboose, think back. When you called Command about the special forces person, what did they say to you?
They said, "This is Command. We read you Blue base."
After that.
"Roger. Over and out."
Before that. Somewhere between those two. "Goodbye" and "Hello" are not the important parts of the conversation.
No, I know, and my name isn't even Roger...although that is a very cool nickname. I wonder if it fits? Roger shut up. Roger, don't put that in your mouth. Roger, put that down. Roger, will you please be my best friend? Signed, Church. P.S. Your new name is the best. I like it. Signed, Church...again.
(Aggravated) What did they tell you in the middle? What did they say? I need you to focus, Caboose.
(Caboose stands still)
Ugh.... I need you to focus, Roger.
Mwhahaha!! Blarg blarg honk, haha!
Mwhaha! Blarg honk, you say? hmm haha fools.
Blargity blarg... Ya honkbag.
Honk honk blarg blarg. Honkhonkblargblarg. Honk-honky blarg?
Blarg. And also, honk. Are these really my lines? This is ridiculous! Who wrote this?!
Line...
Enough blargin, when do I get to beat up Grif? He's got a honking coming to him!
Whats the motivation here? Is there like, a boss alien whose ass I should be kissing? Honk honk blarg, sir!
Hey Simmons. Is it just me, or do you have your head halfway up Sarge's blonk?
Hey, guys! Honk honk blarg blarg. Honk blarg blarg, blarg honk!
This is stupid. This character has less lines than I do.
Blargever, dude.
What am I talking about?
I'm an alien.
Well, what do the alien chicks look like?
I AM AN ALIEN!
Do they like to honk?
(not pausing) I'm an alien, I'm an alien, I'm an alien, I'm an alien.
Honk honk, blarg blarg, goddammit, honk.
[As a Wraith tank] Honk honk. Firing main blarg
[Fires sniper rifle] See? I'm telling you, there is something wrong with this honking thing. It doesn't work as an alien or as a person.
(after a long pause) ...El honk.
Hey reds, you honk! Blue blargs!
Who wants to see my honk honk? Go on, give it a blarg!
Shut the blarg up!!!
(wearing his white "ghost" armor, next to Caboose) Hi, everybody. I'm Private Church from the popular web series, Red vs. Blu- (Donut enters) Hey, Donut! What are you doing, man? You're supposed to be wearing your old red armor so that we can be red, white, and blue. This isn't very patriotic.
I'm being patriotic...in my own way!
Alright, let's just start alrea-
Hello, everyone. I am Private Church from the popular web series, Red vs.-
Caboose, that's my line.
You can't prove that!
As you probably know already, this weekend we celebrate July 4th, or as it's known in Mexico, Cinco de Mayo.
Many of you may take this oppurtunity to enjoy your weiner.
I know I will!
But the real reason we celebrate the 4th of July isn't for the food, or the fun, or even the picnics with the nonstop binge drinking.
What?
There's only one true reason we celebrate the 4th of July: to have a lot of explosions.
Yay! It's fireworks day!
Kick-ass! I've still got 3 fingers left from last year!
(holding grenade) Hello, Donut. Check out this awesome sparkler! It is even more fun because we are playing with it inside!
Hey, that's not a sparkler, that's a grenade!
Don't worry. We are completely safe. All of the doors are locked from the outside, so we cannot escape- oh, wait a minute (explodes)
(grilling) Hey there, Caboose. How do you like your meat? Well done, or pink and juicy!
Yes, I will take that fuzzy glowing hamburger, please.
Hey! That's not a hamburger, that's a grenade!
I know! I switched them when you weren't looking!...Maybe I should not have done that... (explodes)
Hey Caboose, have you seen my grenade?
Yes! I put it in my pants! Wait- (explodes)
For this last bit, the part of the bottle rocket will be played by Sheila. Enjoy.
Hey Donut, want to see my awesome bottle rocket?
Totally! Just remember, don't point it directly at me! Okay?
Okay, and I promise I won't forget whatever it is that you just said.
(Donut gets blasted by Caboose):
I forgoooot!
Okay, aaaand end scene. Well, I hope you've all learned a lot about fireworks, and maybe even a little bit about yourselves. (hissing of grenade)
Oopsie.
Uh-oh.
Running time!
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the most important safety tip. If you have small children around, or even very very stupid adults, never ever let them play with fireworks without proper supervision.... Hey, what's that hissing noise?
(Church explodes):
CABOOSE!!!
Simmons did it!
What are you talking about? I wasn't even in this video!
Happy fireworks day everybody!
I had all of those things, I was very sick.
No you didn't Caboose.
No, it's true. Caboose got Asian Bird Flu.
What?! How is that possible? Doesn't Asian Bird Flu only infect birds?
Somehow, he found a way.
I am feeling much better now, and, I can fly. *Jumps off the cliff* (shouting) I am flying! *thump* Ow! The sky is very hard.
Hey Church, how long do we keep this up?
When they all go into hiding, grab their flag and run.
[speaking like a zombie] Briiiian. I want Briiiiiian!
Caboose, it's brains, not Brian!
Oops, sorry. I must have read the script wrong. Moaning. Moaning!
Shut up you guys! They're gonna hear us!
Hey Tex, I bet it's been a while since you had some fresh meat!
Up yours.
Bow-chicka-bow-ugh [groans like a zombie]
Honk, honk, blarg, eh!
Shut that kid up!
Don't tell me how to raise my child!
I hate babies.
Oh come on, take the little brat to the lobby!
Allright, that's it. Get him, Junior!
Oof! [Simmons falls out of sight]
I didn't know this was gonna be an action movie! Ew, an NC-17 action movie!
Oh God, my spine! Put it back in, put it back in!
[Stands up] Excuse me, excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. Again.
Get out of my way, I can't see!
It's not my fault the small drink is 164 ounces!
Uh oh. [stands] Emergency! Emergency! [Everyone yells at him to sit down and shut up] Don't yell at me! I have a nervous bladder! Oh boy. [sighs] It's okay, I don't have to go anymore.
Oh, gross.
I'm thirsty again.
I would just like everyone to know, I found my nucular powered SMS-messaging bowling ball. And I'm going to activate it now if anyone wants to text me while I'm playing.
Hey! I already told you, those ain't finger holes!
Hey! I think Andy's resting on one of those laptops with the exploding batteries!
Uh-oh. [boom!]
I also have my own achievables!
Shut up blue! We haven't even made any for you guys yet.
Yes you have, see? Bleep Bloop. [A fake achievement pops up saying: You Got Achevables]
That's not a real achievement!
Yes it is, bleep bloop. [Another fake achievement pops up saying: 10 Points Yes It Is.]
No! You can't do that! You can't fake the achievements they have to be approved! [A video achievement pops up saying: 10G - Wahmbulance, Whine like a bitch.]
Bleep Bloop.
Stop saying bleep bloop!
Bleep Bloop. [Fake Achievement: Bleep Bloop]
Stop it!
Bleep Bloop. [Fake Achievement: Bleep Bloop]
Stop it!
Bleep Bloop. [Fake Achievement: Bloop Bloop]
Okay, that's it, I quit.
Bleep Bloop. [Fake Achievement: Daboop Doop] I have so many achievables! Bleep Bloop. [Fake Achievement: 1 Billion Point, won the video]
[After a very long pause] Bleep Bloop! [Fake Achievement: Secret Bloop]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red vs Blue pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
