Hey Doc, nobody likes you.
What? What are you talking about, everybody likes me!
Everybody hates you. You don't fit in.
Oh? I think I fit in just fine.
Really.
Yes.
Okay, let me ask you this, Doc. What's your zombie plan?
My what?
There's two kinds of people in the world, Doc. Those who have a plan prepared for when the zombies take over the Earth, and those who don't. We call those last people dinner.
Nobody does that!
In my zombie plan, I'm going to Alaska, because zombies have no body heat. They'll freeze like corpse-sicles! It's brilliant!
Nobody else thinks about stuff like that!
Hey Simmons!
What?
What's your zombie plan?
I have two weeks worth of food stored in my attic. I climb up and pull up the ladder with me.
What?!
What happens at the ends of the two weeks?
Oh, I'm keeping that to myself! I don't want to risk you turning into a zombie and knowing what I'm up to!
Oh, come on!
You still doin Alaska?
You know it!
You'll never make it Grif, the major freeways will be choked with stalled cars and people trying to flee the major population centers! Its going to be nothing but a tasty flesh bottleneck!
Grif I'm just going to have to take that risk!
Good luck to you Grif!
Good luck to you too Simmons!
Are you guys brain-damaged?
Hey you knuckleheads, what's all the yammering about?
Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, "zombie plan", unquote?
A zombie plan? Of course not!
See? I told you.
I have 37 different zombie plans!
Wow. Now that's preperation! I am seriously impressed, Sarge.
Well don't be, dirtbag. In 36 of the 37 plans I use your fresh corpse as bait, so that I can make my initial escape from the legions of the undead!
Well, at least I know there's one plan where I-
In the 37th plan, I knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus, just so I can devour you!
Sarge, you gotta be pulling my leg.
Why do you think I carry a shotgun with me at all times? You have to be ready to act on a moments notice! Hyah!
Guys, with all the problems in the world, I can't believe you spend this much time thinking about- [moaning in the distance] What's that?
[the camera then cuts to the Blues, who have been seemingly been infected]
Romero's beard! The Blues have been infected!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the attic!
Hello Juneau!