Junior quotes from Red vs Blue

Hey, shut up. I'm on the phone.

Honk!

And do me a favor, kill that fucking thing, would you?

Blarg.

Yellow armor? What does yellow armor mean? Is it like some kinda... special ops guy, or... man, this can't be good for us.

What if it's a new gun?

What?! Why am I even talking to you? It's a person! In yellow armor! We already established that!

Oh. Uh, maybe they got their own medic!

A medic? Caboose, we are not that lucky.

See? My suit is purple. Can you say purple? Pur..

Honk...

...ple!

Honk!

Great! Once we learn all the colors, we'll learn why you shouldn't judge people by them.

Yeah, that guy is definitely some kind of special forces. He's probably trained in...knives or...ball-kicking or something.

Maybe he's an alien!

An alien that looks just like the rest of us!?

And that is the scariest kind of alien.

Why are you even here? It would be easier for me to just call random people on the phone and talk to them about this. They would understand the situation better!

Blulululula. BluluLULUla.

Well, look who's awake.

What the fuck happened?

Well, as you may remember, you were impregnated by an alien visitor who was on a noble mission to save his entire species from-

Can I get the short version, please?

Yeah. Ya got knocked up, ya got knocked out.

Oh yeah. I gotta start working out. Lose this baby weight.

Yeah, you know we- we should all start working out, you know especially some of us.

Yeah, some of us seem to have let ourselves go more than others.

Are you guys talking about me?

We, ah, didn't want to say anything.

Yeah. That's why we said something...fatty!

Hey, back off guys! I've been under a lot of stress. I've been carrying this whole fucking team.

Where did you carry us, to the buffet?

He said it.

What are you guys doing up here, anyway? And what's that huge thing?

That's Church.

He means the ship, Caboose!!

He said it.

Junior? Junior? Hey Junior? Where did you go?

Honk!

There you are!

Honk!

You little rascal.

[quietly and high-pitched] Honk!

Okay, Sister. Any other conditions I should know about?

Umm, Let's see... You know about all the ways I'm contagious...

Hey, what's going on here?

Oh! I'm color-blind!

Really? That's weird, but I don't think it'll cause any problems here. Okay, go ahead and bend over.

Sure. Like this?

Wow! Yeah! You're really limber and in a really great shape.

Yeah I am!

I'm not gonna play against you in Twister.

Check this out!

Wowsers! I didn't even know a leg could bend that far. That is a leg, right? Okay. Oh and by the way, sorry if my hands are cold.

That's cool. Sorry if my body is a little hot.

[standing behind a corner] Hey, do you guys need any help in there?

Is someone spying on us? Yes! Hot!

No, we're good! Hey Sister? You want me to turn up the heat or something? You look like you're...

Eh, I'll be okay. Hard nipples won't kill you.

I could just walk around this corner, if you need me to. Wouldn't be a problem.

We got it! Hey, sorry I got you all wet before. I didn't even know how that bucket of baby oil got up on that shelf. That was weird.

That's okay. I think it will actually help. Squeezing these puppies into the armor could be a little difficult.

Maybe I should just look in there and see if there's anything I can do.

No thanks, Tucker. Maybe they need your help with the tank instead. You'll probably be a lot more valuable out there. What we're doing in here is pretty routine. Hey are you double-jointed?

Yeah.

[sarcastic] Great!

Honk!

Don't rub it in.

[in an apologetic manner] blarg.

Well little dude, I guess there's a time when every little boy becomes a man.

Tucker he's only three days old.

Yeah, they grow up so fast.

Also he's not a boy, he's a grub.

The point is, you're on your own now, and I don't have time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate, there's no such thing as a permanent record, always eat breakfast, all the girls on the internet are actually dudes, and you should never, ever buy the extended warranty on anything. Ever. Oh also, chicks like it when you tell them you're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to 'em. So mix it up a little.

Tucker let's go!

Okay, little dude, I gotta go now. Tex needs me and Church to back her up.

Blarg Chicka honk honk.

Huh. I guess you have been teaching him some stuff.

Teach? You don't teach that. Thats just genetic.

Honk, honk, blarg, eh!

Shut that kid up!

Don't tell me how to raise my child!

I hate babies.

Oh come on, take the little brat to the lobby!

Allright, that's it. Get him, Junior!

Oof! [Simmons falls out of sight]

I didn't know this was gonna be an action movie! Ew, an NC-17 action movie!

Oh God, my spine! Put it back in, put it back in!