“Let's All Go to the Movies” quotes from Red vs Blue

You know, this is a time of year when we all try to figure out ways to avoid spending any more time with our families than we absolutely have to.

And there's no better way to do that than hiding from them in a big dark room with a bunch of strangers.

We're talking, of course, about going to the movies. Or, if you find today's movies to be too sexually explicit, a strip club.

Nowadays, most people treat a movie theater like their own home. And they treat their home like a gas station bathroom, which is gross.

Previews? What the hell is that? I don't want some previewed movie that other people have seen already! Those are the sloppy seconds of cinema!

Aw, shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Silence is golden? Ain't there any dialogue in this picture? That's okay, I got my own soundtrack: This sucks! Zing!

No, you suck!

This isn't open mic night!

I heard this movie got two thumbs up. My question is up what? Oooh! That burns!

Why don't you go kill yourself?

Honk, honk, blarg, eh!

Shut that kid up!

Don't tell me how to raise my child!

I hate babies.

Oh come on, take the little brat to the lobby!

Allright, that's it. Get him, Junior!

Oof! [Simmons falls out of sight]

I didn't know this was gonna be an action movie! Ew, an NC-17 action movie!

Oh God, my spine! Put it back in, put it back in!

[Stands up] Excuse me, excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. Again.

Get out of my way, I can't see!

It's not my fault the small drink is 164 ounces!

Uh oh. [stands] Emergency! Emergency! [Everyone yells at him to sit down and shut up] Don't yell at me! I have a nervous bladder! Oh boy. [sighs] It's okay, I don't have to go anymore.

Oh, gross.

I'm thirsty again.

Hang up the fucking phone! [People yell]

God, chill out everybody, I have to take this! It could be incredibly important! [answers] Yo, what up, fools? [people yell] Oh, nothing. Whatcha doing? [More yelling] Aw, no way! I'm watching that movie right now too! [yelling] Oh snap, we're in the same theater! [Donut stands up]

What's up, girl?

What's up, dawg? God, doesn't this movie suck? All the people in here are assholes!

Hey, can we wrap this up? I gotta get to a movie in a few minutes and I need to get a new tape for my video camera.

You're going to video tape the movie?

Yeah, so?

Oh man, you gotta go digital! You'll get a much better copy for the black market.

Oh, good idea, man. Thanks. You know, I just hope no one makes too much noise during the show. People who talk during movies are really ruining the industry.

Yeah, there ought to be a law.