Donny quotes from Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Simon

I should explain...Donny is a punk. Just in case anyone didn't know!

Ah, it's 'cause I'm not wearing the mohican...that you might not understand.

Right, it's more inside. It's a philosophy.

It's like, it's like a spike inside your gut.

Yeah, it's like a mohican on your pancreas, man!

D'you know what, just 'cause you haven't got the hair to pull it off, it doesn't mean that you can't be it.

No, man. I'm wearing my mohican, like, on the back of my head. Fuck everything! See? Fuck things! Fuck everything! See, pencils! See? [He picks one up and snaps it] Fuck it!

Simon

Down with Thatcher!

Simon

Hello...Donny's put sunglasses on. That'll tell Thatcher!

D'you want a go?

And now what you need to do is give it a little bit of that. [Makes strange gesture]

Simon

: [Does the gesture] And now I'm cool...

You know you'd be quite happy at home on the streets

Yeah...

Though not that many people'd take pity on you...'cause you're pretty ugly.

Oooh!

Simon

[To Donny] I should explain: Bill is a professional comedian... [Pause as Simon tries to contain his amusement at Donny's stupidity] you won't win!

Oh for fuck's sake...not very sharp are you?

Simon

Yeah, it was definitely their fault.

Simon

I don't understand. Did he suggest that you couldn't dick on the Sex Pistols? I think, I think you can dick on them.

Well, I've got a dick...I'm here...

Simon

He has got a dick and he's here...I think that's the best we can hope for tonight.

Simon

Have you got an answer?

Phill

You know what, I'm gonna take his answer. I don't know what it'll be, but none of us do!

I can't even remember the question.

Phill

Why did Prince end up in court over some purple paint? Your best guess, now!

....Because his helmet turned blue?

Phill

Because, Simon... his helmet turned blue. Bring in the points, bitch! In the bag.

Simon

His helmet turned blue. [turns to camera, deliberately] You're wrong.

The only reason I'm on the show is 'cause you told everyone you fancied me, dude!

Simon

It's not, it's 'cause we have difficulty booking people.

Simon

Donny just called me 'Anstis'. You know I'm not Toby Anstis, don't you?

I thought your name was Anstis?

Simon

Amstell... but you know it doesn't matter, I'll go with-

Amstell's a beer!

Simon

Yes!

I like beer.

Simon

And I like you...

My shades!

Simon

When he goes, you can have them back. Is that all right, do you want them back now? Are you gonna 'cause some sort of riot?!

Simon

"I am an Antichrist, I am an anarchist..."?

Phill

"I is -"

I am the walrus?

Simon

"I is I am the walrus," yes.

Simon

Donny is unhappy...

No, that's bullshit, they didn't win. You gave them easier questions 'cause they're retards.

Simon

Punks love points...

Yeah, "Smash the system but...can he have another point?". You're about as punk as Enya!