With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Alesha Dixon, Phil Nichol, Ricky Ross, and Anthea Turner
S1919x01
Hello there and welcome to the exciting new series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. New set, new titles, new host. I guess what I'm trying to say is...welcome to the last series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
Lorraine from Deacon Blue has a recurring nightmare where the band are playing to a baying crowd without the correct instruments. I have a recurring nightmare that I'm stuck in the middle of a baying crowd watching Deacon Blue.
[Ricky Ross from Deacon Blue smiles]
Only joking, I've never heard of you.
[To Anthea]
With this new show, "Perfect Housewife", did they say to you, "Look, we'd love you to have your own show, you just need a skill". And you went away for five years and you said "I'm really good at tidying! I can fold! Towels! I can put a toothbrush in a cup!".
[To Ricky Ross]
Ricky, has anything like that ever happened to you in your career like that? Have you ever...thrown a lollipop at a famous star?
Waxed, buffed, full leather interior, slight smell of sick, some rear end damage. It's Girls Aloud!
[About Ricky Ross] Are you sure he's been in a band?
How would you know, you're twelve!
I don't really know anything pre McFly.
Who's your favourite McFly?
What day is today?
It's a Thursday.
Thursday's a Danny day!
I think Patrick Kielty-
AAnthea
Is fantastic.
I think more of a cunt.
AAnthea
What! Excuse me...you can't say that word.
BBill
What? Kielty?
AAnthea
Because you don't have one.
So I can't say it?
AAnthea
No.
But I haven't got an umbrella...
[Later on, Simon says cunt again]
You can't say the word in front of Anthea 'cause I haven't got an umbrella.
[Trying to guess the name of a song with Phill miming at him]
PNPhil Nichol
...Love doesn't pull, love doesn't tuggle, love doesn't hold, love doesn't feel, love's got big boobs, love has a moustache, love's, love, love speaks sign language, love's got...holding, tightening, ah, ah, nosing, holding, nose, pointing, pointing at nose, oh...praying! Love is the Pope, love is the Pope, love is the nosy Pope, the Pope's got a lovely nose! I don't know...
AAlesha
Do you know what I think, I thinks number two 'cause he's dropping the style nice.
What are you...what's with all this speak?
AAlesha
[Laughs hysterically] I don't know!
Dropping the...You don't speak like this! You get nervous and start going all a-bibbidy-bobbidy...!
Number two hasn't blinked in the last twenty minutes...
PNPhil Nichol
He's not real, he's papier maché.
[To Ricky Ross] Paul Young, he's on the show next week. I've heard of him.
S1919x02
With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Vanessa Feltz, Matt Willis, Paul Young, Will Smith
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.