[The Moon Men's rock monsters lumber towards the queen's sister, Billis.]
Hey, baby, wanna get stoned?
CACrow [as Bob Dylan]
Everybody must get stoned!
S4Hercules Against the Moon Men
[reading fan letter, a child's crayon scribble on graph paper] Cambot, put this up on stillstore, there's no print, but it's a really good drawing of me, and, Crow, and... Servo... on the bridge...?
CCrow
[matter-of-factly] It's really not that good!
Come with me, mister! [grabs Crow by the net and drags him offscreen]
CCrow
AAAAAAGH!
[TV's Frank gets high from Joel's invention: "Super Freak Out" which consists of him, Crow, Tom, and Gypsy in rock and roll outfits]
What do you think, sirs?
I'm a scientist; I don't think, I observe.
TSTV's Frank [high]
See me, feel me, touch me!
Oh great, You've triggered a Freak Out in Frank.
Push the button, Frank.
TSTV's Frank [high]
I am the button. [Leaves]
[Joel and the bots sing an ode to pants]
What keeps our legs all warm and hot?
AAll
Pants!
CCrow
What prevents a buffalo shot?
AAll
Pants!
What do they got that I ain't got?
Joel and Crow: ...Pants.
Well, you can say that again... Huh?
[The Queen of the Moon Men reverts back to a corpse thanks to Hercules interrupting the resurrection ceremony.]
This film has aged me...
CCrow
I know how she feels.
CCrow
Gypsy, did you realize that Walter Pigeon was the original Admiral Nelson in the film version of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea?
No way...
CCrow
Not Richard Basehart!
GUGypsy [upset]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! JOOOOOEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!
S4The Magic Sword
Well Jimmy Smits, your movie today is roasted fresh from the kitchens of Bert I Gordon. It's a fetid little piece of tripe featuring sword and sorcery, Gary Lockwood and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone.
[The knights face an ogre.]
Teddy Ruxpin, no!
[George fights a two-headed dragon.]
Lighten up, they're just puppets!
CCrow
Hey...
Sorry.
[George taps a fellow knight with his sword.]
CCrow
I dub you Sir Moron. Come on, dummy.
[Joel, Tom and Crow are on the SOL, Crow singing about his new love, Estelle.]
CCrow
[singing] She's CUTE! She's ROOTY-TOOT-TOOT! I bet she smells like JUICY FRUIT!
EEAUGHHH!
CCrow
[continues singing, ignoring Tom] She can even play a wiiitch...She was even on Bewiiiitched...And I'm BEWILDERED and BOTHERRRRRRED!
S4Hercules and the Captive Women
[Gypsy makes a rare theater apperance during the beginning of this episode. The movie features a scene with some "good-natured brawling" going on between a large group of men.]
Hey, stop fighting! Everybody stop fighting!
[trying to hide his amusement] Um, it's...it's okay, Gypsy. It's just a movie.
[catching herself] Oh?...Oh! Sorry, sorry...
[Hercules and company ride their horses through a patch of fog]
Hey, get this, they're steam cleaning the horses!
[impressed] All right, Gypsy! Good one!
[the movie opens proper with a map of the Greek city of Thebes]
CCrow
Bonanza!
And if that map burns, it'll be a Greece fire!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.