Well Jimmy Smits, your movie today is roasted fresh from the kitchens of Bert I Gordon. It's a fetid little piece of tripe featuring sword and sorcery, Gary Lockwood and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone.
“The Magic Sword” · Season 4
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (3), Joel Robinson (2), Tom Servo (1), Dr. Clayton Forrester (1)
[The knights face an ogre.]
Teddy Ruxpin, no!
[George fights a two-headed dragon.]
Lighten up, they're just puppets!
CCrow
Hey...
Sorry.
[George taps a fellow knight with his sword.]
CCrow
I dub you Sir Moron. Come on, dummy.
[Joel, Tom and Crow are on the SOL, Crow singing about his new love, Estelle.]
CCrow
[singing] She's CUTE! She's ROOTY-TOOT-TOOT! I bet she smells like JUICY FRUIT!
EEAUGHHH!
CCrow
[continues singing, ignoring Tom] She can even play a wiiitch...She was even on Bewiiiitched...And I'm BEWILDERED and BOTHERRRRRRED!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.