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SEASON 1

Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 1

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 1 quotes

173 quotes · page 10 of 12

Mystery Science Theater 3000

All S1 S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7 S8 S9 S10 S11 S12 S13

S1The Mad Monster (movie)

Crow and Servo: [with their heads swapped, whilst speaking in unison] Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

You like long walks in the rain?

Chinese food?

Mushing up your ice cream?

Crow and Servo: [in unison] Oh, yes! We love us! Our collective brains are more powerful than Joel's! There is nothing that can stand in our way. We have seen the future and it is us; massage us into your scalp! We are all one; all powerful... YES! We are Servo Crow-ation, and we shall rule the wor- [Joel shuts them both off]

[in bemusement] My robots; I think I'll keep 'em- turned off.

[Petro decides to turn against Cameron in the climax]

[in terror] Petro; stay back!

[as Petro steps forward to strangle Cameron] I'll show you how the choke chain feels!

And it don't feel good.

S1Radar Men from the Moon, Chapter 3 (short)

[while a shot of Cody's ship returning to Earth plays] Why does the Earth have a shadow?

Why are there clouds in space?

Why are we watching this?

Daddy, what's Vietnam?

RRetik

[demanding for his henchmen waiting on Earth to be prepared for the arrival of Cody and his team of scientists] Will you have a ray gun completed by the time he lands?!

KKrog

I'm afraid that's impossible, your Excellency.

[as Krog] All the hardware stores are closed!

[as the Moon Men henchmen and police officers engage in a shootout] Why is it darker on the Earth than on the Moon?

S1The Corpse Vanishes (movie)

[as one character is shown wandering around in a fancy outfit]

Joel, why don't you wear nice things like that?

Well, I got shot into space; there wasn't any time to pack.

Oh.

[Dr. Foster and Patricia Hunter introduce themselves to each other on the ride over to Lorenz's castle]

FDr. Foster

My name is Dr. Foster.

I'm Patricia Hunter.

I'm Joel.

I'm Servo.

I'm Crow!

I'm a news reporter.

I'm a robot.

I'm a human being.

[Mrs. Lorenz angrily slaps Patricia in the face for her arriving for an interview]

[to Dr. Foster] So that's what you call [them being] eccentric. I have another name for it.

[as Patricia] I call it bitchy.

FDr. Foster

[as he assists in defending Patricia's testimony to her boss about Dr. Lorenz] The glands in our body help determine the condition of our teeth, the texture of our hair...

[as Dr. Foster] The cut of our jib.

Learning is fun!

S1Radar Men from the Moon, Chapter 4 (short)

[Servo sneezes violently]

Bless you!

Gesundheit.

You're not supposed to do that...

That stirred up my RAMS real bad.

[Graber shoots at Cody with one hand while driving away from him with the other]

Wow, he can drive and shoot at the same time? He must be ambidextrous!

Boy, I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous.

S1Radar Men from the Moon, Chapter 5 (short)

[being dragged back to his seat by Joel] This is Buddhist! You invented us to suffer!

[of Servo and Crow griping] I'm surrounded by idiots of my own design!

[Graber, who is trying to escape, shoots at Commander Cody]

Right, right. Shoot him. That's your solution to everything. Something gets in your way, you pull out your little gun and you gotta shoot them. Well mister listen, someday there's going to be a flying Rocketeer behind you who's going to shoot back.

S1Robot Monster (movie)

[of Ro-Man as he first appears] This is what comes of teaching apes sign-language.

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