Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Joel

[as Cody is fighting off a henchman] Just give him a headbutt. Give him a headbutt! He's just wearing spandex on his head!

Joel

[as the Moon Men henchmen and police officers engage in a shootout] Why is it darker on the Earth than on the Moon?

Joel

[of Servo and Crow griping] I'm surrounded by idiots of my own design!

Joel

Right, right. Shoot him. That's your solution to everything. Something gets in your way, you pull out your little gun and you gotta shoot them. Well mister listen, someday there's going to be a flying Rocketeer behind you who's going to shoot back.

Joel

Even at the end of the world, love springs eternal.

Joel

[while Cody and Ted fly in an airplane to bomb the truck of Retik's Earth henchmen] Oh, great. Double 00-Cody. You have a license to kill now, Mr. Cody?

Joel

[Commander Moore and the imposter Dr. Wernher fight] Hands Down; the slap-happiest game of all!

Joel

[commenting on the surreal perspective of the movie's visual effects] Art design by M.C. Escher!

Joel

This grass... It's... drugged!

Joel

Hey, where's Steve McQueen when you need him?

Saigon. I can't believe I'm in a model of Saigon.

Joel

[as John F. Kennedy ] I believe by the end of this decade, we will land a piece of stock footage on another planet. Ask not what a processed shot can do for you.

When you get up in the morning, Kenny, we'll get you a whole box of gravel.

Joel

All you scary guys with the low I.Q.s, don't call any more because you're scaring Gypsy.

Joel

The Ocean; the beginning of all life... and all Sandy Frank films.