Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 3
“Gamera” · Season 3
In this episode: Joel Robinson (8), Crow T. Robot (6), Tom Servo (4), Kenny (3), General (1)
[Hidaka and his Eskimo hosts observe fighter jets pursuing another jet.]
The war even comes to this Eskimo village. Soon there won't be any peace anywhere.
[Cut to a ship cutting through the ice.]
There's nothing more tragic than a war in an Eskimo village.
[Kenny searches for his turtle Tibby among the shore rocks.]
Tibby? Tibby? Tibby?
Like the turtle's gonna call out if he hears him.
[At night, Kenny mopes about his lost stones that he was collecting for "Gamera's new house".]
When you get up in the morning, Kenny, we'll get you a whole box of gravel.
[Gamera's beady eyes watch Kenny as he flees from the rocky sea cliff.]
Those kids at school -- they tease you, Kenny. Because they['ve] never tasted hell. Today, we turn the tables!
[As the military prepares to destroy Gamera, little Kenny runs up to Dr. Murase and the General.]
Don't shoot Gamera! Don't shoot Gamera! He's good, he's good!
Let's listen to what Kenny has to say!
Yes. It might be a mistake. Maybe we shouldn't use those missiles.
Why not? It's the only way to kill that monster.
Because Kenny said so.
[A television newsman is reporting on Gamera-related natural disasters.]
There's going to be a special conference later this evening at the university, during which Dr. Hidaka will talk to high-ranking officers...
... and Kenny...
Gamera seems able to resist attacks by all offensive weapons known to us. Therefore, I am forced to admit there may be even greater catastrophes ahead.
More Gamera movies?
[Scene: the city of Oshima, where people are milling about.]
The city is off-limits to civilians. Not even the press is allowed to enter the area.
Kenny, however, is free to move about.
[After Servo finishes a song about Tibby the turtle]
Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
Hey Joel, uh... I looked up 'suspended animation' in the dictionary and I don't think that this is going to be any good at— [a spray of liquid nitrogen turns Crow frozen mid-sentence] —AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
See, I told you guys it would work.
[as Kenny uncovers a pile of rocks]
Oh, it's Tibby's burial mound.
[defensive] Shut up! It's not funny. [Scoffs]
[looking for his turtle] You there?
[beginning to get a little sad] Oh Tibby...
Tibby?
...or not Tibby.
It's not- Stop it! Shut up!
Tibby!
Tibby! Tibby! SQUISH! Aww, Tibby!
[getting more emotional] That's not funny! Joel, tell him to stop!
Tibby??? Tibby!
What are you worried about? Tibby's long dead, Tom.
[gets up and begins to walk away] I'm leaving! I ha- [sobbing] I can't take this, this is terrible!
Come on back, come on.
[returning to his seat] Will you stop with the jokes?
Yeah.
[as Gamera is lured to the missile, trapped in a large capsule, and launched into space]
Uhh...
Hey, Joel, remind you of anything?
[rips Crow's arm off and hits him with it] Yeah, it reminds me of this!
Ah! Hey! Cut it out.
[singing] In the not too distant future- [Joel hits Servo with the arm and throws it away]
Ha ha!
You could get sued for that kind of thing.
I'm gonna sue you for using that song.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
