JCJoel, Crow, & Servo
Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy!
“Godzilla vs. Megalon” · Season 2
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (9), Tom Servo (9), Joel Robinson (7), Goro (3)
[At the lakeside picnic, little Rokuro (Rok-san) frantically paddles his watercraft during an earthquake. On shore, Goro glances at Jinkawa.]
GGoro
Hey! The rocket!
[Snorts] Rockets!
CCrow
On a picnic?
. . .
RRokuro
Help me! Hurry up!
Hey, you're in no position to make demands, kid!
. . .
[Goro fires the "rocket" at Rok-san, who catches the attached rope and secures his end around his watercraft.]
Guess a rocket is standard picnicking equipment in Japan, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yep!
CACrow [as Picnicker]
Well, let's go on a picnic. Let's see, we got our food, beverages, and 50 feet of uncoiled rope…
[Goro, Jinkawa, and Rok-san return to the laboratory.]
JJinkawa
[to Goro] Hey, it would be funny if the earthquake destroyed your robot!
JAJoel [as Goro]
Yeah, it would be funny if the earthquake killed your FAMILY!
[During a montage of Goro welding and assembling his robot]
CACrow [as a Narrator]
Industry: creating a better world. Our most valuable resource? People! He's a maniac! A maniac! And he's dancing like he's never danced before! He's a steel town boy on a Saturday...
. . .
[As the camera pans up to reveal the finished robot, Jet Jaguar]
They've just created Jennifer Beals.
[Scene: an obvious toy helicopter hovers over obvious toy army jeeps.]
JAJoel [as Capt. Willard]
Saigon. I can't believe I'm in a model of Saigon.
[As Jet Jaguar flies around in the sky above them]
GGoro
Isn't that Jet Jaguar there?
[Sarcastically] No, it's another superhero of your own design!
GGoro
They're controlling him.
RSRok-san
It's a pity we can't send Jet Jaguar to go and get Godzilla!
CCrow
Yeah, it's a pity we can't kill you and get away with it!
[Jinkawa and Rokuro prepare to assault the laboratory (with a model airplane)]
CCrow
Hey, is there an ethical question about taking a little kid on a dangerous mission?
Um, no.
Not this kid.
. . .
SAServo [as Jinkawa]
[Sarcastically] Gee, I hope this works or little Billy will be lunch meat!
[As Megalon and Jet Jaguar continue fighting]
I know I should be excited and scared and all, but I -- all I can think of is sweaty Japanese guys...
. . .
CCrow
He's got a foreign object!
He is a foreign object!
[As Godzilla finally makes it to the climactic battle]
CACrow [as Godzilla/Nada]
I have come here to chew sushi and kick butt. And I'm all out of sushi.
[Jet Jaguar is curled up on the ground after being shot out of the air by Megalon. The latter stands over him, gloating.]
CACrow [as Megalon/General Zod]
You will bow down before me, Jet Jaguar!
JAJoel [as Jet Jaguar/Bond]
Do you expect me to talk?
CACrow [as Megalon/Goldfinger]
No, Jet Jaguar. I expect you to die!
Oh, very good, guys. Uh, kind of a James Bond thing there.
[Megalon is taunting Godzilla.]
SAServo [as Megalon]
Nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah! Your father was a lizard! Your mother was an A-bomb! ...Your uncle was a robot!
[Godzilla slowly lifts Megalon by his tail high into the air.]
SAServo [as Sportscaster]
Godzilla is either breaking the laws of physics, or he's throwing around an empty rubber suit!
[After the final battle, Godzilla walks away.]
RSRok-san
Godzilla! Bye-bye!
SAServo [as Goro]
Thanks for leveling our country!
[Goro attempts to control Jet Jaguar using his control medallion.]
GGoro
[Into medallion] Jet Jaguar! Let's go home!
[Jet Jaguar nods and turns to leave]
CACrow [as Jet Jaguar]
Yeah, sure, you control me... right... I'll be home crushing your house!
[The bots' translation of the fabulous Jet Jaguar fight song]
He jock it made of steel.
Eats sushi from a pail.
Jet Jaguar? Jet Jaguar!
He mother never really love him.
He crimefighting covers up a basic insecurity.
He dickey covers up an Adam's apple the size of a Toyota.
He basically good-hearted, but he'd like to smash that kid's head against a rock!
Knock, knock, knock!!
Who's there?i>
He face look like Jack Nicholson.
Don't laugh like that; it'll stay that way.
Yamahageeooooooh!
[pause]
Do not touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs Man.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.