Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[while a shot of Cody's ship returning to Earth plays] Why does the Earth have a shadow?

Servo

Why are there clouds in space?

Why are we watching this?

Servo

Daddy, what's Vietnam?

My name is Dr. Foster.

I'm Patricia Hunter.

Joel

I'm Joel.

Servo

I'm Servo.

I'm Crow!

I'm a news reporter.

Servo

I'm a robot.

Joel

I'm a human being.

Joel

Bless you!

Gesundheit.

Joel

You're not supposed to do that...

Servo

That stirred up my RAMS real bad.

If only I could have a decent assistant who can follow orders instead of trying to be the boss.

I'm bossy? You ought to be milked before you come home every night!

Servo

Dibs!

I'll get a stool and a pail.

Servo

That's udderly ridiculous.

Oh, cow could you say that?

Servo

Are you gonna milk this for all it's worth?

Servo

[a shot of a rocket traveling to the space platform plays] It's a V-2 rocket!

Could've had a V-8! [Joel slaps Crow upside the head] Joke, Joel. [It was] a joke!

Servo

I thought it was hilarious! [Joel slaps Servo on the dome]

Is this the end of the film, Joel?

Joel

Uh, I don't think it is.

Servo

You ever had deja vu, Joel?

Joel

Huh? What?

Joel

We've gotta get out of here.

Servo

This is pathetic! [pause] You ever had deja vu, Joel?

Stop it!

Today I will prove that Commando Cody is guilty of the following felony changes- failure to follow a proper flight plan, reckless endangerment of the public, defying the laws of physics... and gravity, and acting as an officer of the law... and simply bad acting.

Servo

[acting as Cody's lawyer] We plead hardship, your Honor! My client- Commando Cody- has more than paid his debt to society by being trapped in a pathetic serial!

Servo

[singing] You're watching Commando Cody; a not-so-new character from Republic. He gets in trouble every week, but he's saved by editing...

Joel

[singing] His laboratory is a boxing ring when bad guys come to mix it up; someone always gets kidnapped, so Cody has to go to fix it up...

[singing] Bad guys beware- Cody is there; you'll like his hair, it's under his helmet, 'cuz we couldn't think of a good rhyme; and that's the end of the Commando Cody theme song! So sit right back, and with a will of granite, watch Chapter 8- The Enemy Planet. [nervously laughs]

[role-playing as Krog on the bridge] Earth men, I want you to take an atomic bomb the size of a pineapple, strap it to a Piper Cub, and crash into Mt. Vesuvius!

Servo

[roleplaying as Commando Cody] Does he have any idea who he's dealing with? I could-

Ahhh, you're Servo; and Joel's holding you up.

Servo

Pay no attention to the man holding me up.

Joel

[reading a building abbreviated as SPACOM] Spacom: wood-filled and meat substitute.

We built this city on Spacom!

Servo

Instead of rock and roll?

Yep.

Servo

[reading the actor credits] Andrew Howarth?

Fine; howarth you?

Servo

Classic!

Well...that could have gone better.

Hellllp, Mr. Wizaaaaard!

Nonsense!

Run away! Run away!

I don't wanna be an astronaut anymore!

Oooh! Scooby! We gotta get outta here, Scooby!

Dreezle drazzle drozzle drome!

Time for zis vun to come home!

Little Richard? I hate impressionists!

Servo

Prince, I hope you're watching this!

Joel

I think a certain teen idol is hopped up on goofballs!

Little Richard: the one true talent in this film!

His name is Angelo.

Servo

He's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Servo

I feel a number coming on…

Hey, we better do something, and quick!

Yeah! Let's do something.

Hey, it's Gloria Estefan and the Catalina Deus Ex Sound Machina!