Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 1
“Moon Zero Two” · Season 1
In this episode: Tom Servo (6), Crow T. Robot (3), Joel Robinson (3), Emily (3), GPC 2 (2)
[Joel and the Bots enter the theater as the animated credits play.]
[excited] Hey it's in color!
Yeah.
Really bad music already, this is great.
. . .
Is this a Pink Panther movie?
No, I think it's a, like, NASA simulation, kind of like.
Why would they use cartoons?
Uh, so astronauts could understand them.
[dubiously] Ah.
[Clementine is concerned about her missing brother.]
He was supposed to meet me at the spaceport.
He's probably waiting at Moon City.
Mmm, that's what the man said.
Don't you listen to what the man says.
[Korminski, speaking in his thick Russian accent, finishes his phone call.]
Yes, thees time, we can pay the bill, okay?!
Hch-okay, Mee-ster Fawlty!
. . .
[As Korminski walks off to load the ship, Hubbard turns to Capt. Kemp.]
That's Mr. Korminski, isn't it? Your engineer? What nationality is he?
[annoyed] He's from Barcelona.
[As the moon buggy overheats and explodes, the jazz soundtrack lets out a piercing wail.]
Oh, no -- the jazz combo was in there!!
[Joel and the Bots are discussing how games would be altered to suit outer space.]
Kaboom! would become Don't Smoke on the Bridge Because It's an Oxygen-Enriched Atmosphere and You Could Cause an Explosion!
[a scuffle starts to break out in a nightclub as Kemp turns off the facility's gravity as a diversion for him and Clementine to escape]
If we're gonna play, we play by my rules!
Yeah; but nobody knows what your rules are!
[as Joel shows off his teleportation eating invention]
Wow, anybody else nauseous right now?
Why does the food go right into his stomach?
Oh, you're wondering how he eats, aren't you. Don't do that.
[as Joel dances to the movie's title theme]
Wow, even in silhouette, Joel is so very white.
[as a rich cartoon character is chasing the two cartoon astronauts]
Hey, it's Donald Trump. He's chasing the good guys away. That doesn't make sense.
It makes perfect sense.
Hey, that joke has transcended time.
And space.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
