I can talk to her next week. How about Saturday? I'll take you guys out for pancakes.
Yeah, it's okay. That's not going to give her much time. It's all right. [Starts to head for the door, but then stops, and turns around] Oh, you know what? I forgot to mention! My cousin works for a PR firm for the '49ers.
Yeah! Joe Montana's gonna be in town on Thursday! He's shooting some commercial. You wanna meet him?
Okay, you're not too busy?
No, no. No, I'm sure we can make that work.
Oh, great, because I lied! But it's nice to know you're available on Thursday! Julie will be here after school. Thanks! [Grins, and leaves the office].
[Monk walks into the garage carrying a container of smoke alarms]
Hey, hey, Karl with a "K."
SCaptain Stockton
Oh, hell, he's back.
Hey, Chucky. You missed a spot. [Comes up to the table] Captain, can you believe it's been a year already?
SCaptain Stockton
You know, Mr. Monk, I told you you can test those smoke alarms at home by yourself.
Yes, I know but, I'd rather you guys did it. You're the experts, right?
[The station's call alarm goes off. Everyone stops what they are doing and immediately runs for the ladder equipment. Someone hands Stockton a slip of paper]
SCaptain Stockton
House fire, three alarm. Mr. Monk, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait.
Captain, I was here first.
SCaptain Stockton
Sir, there is a house burning down five blocks away! Don't you think that should take a priority right now?
SCaptain Stockton
Don't you?
FFFirst Fireman
Let's go! [The engine starts to drive away]
OK, but I haven't got all day!
[Monk is having his eyes checked after being attacked by Eddie Murdoch at the firehouse]
JDr. Jackman
Uh, okay. The liquid that hit him was a mixture of detergent and muriatic acid. Both of his corneas have been scarred, and there is nerve damage.
Which means what, exactly?
JDr. Jackman
It’s hard to say. Sometimes the tissue grows back by itself, and sometimes it doesn’t.
[Stroking Monk's shoulder] Shh... it’s okay, Mr. Monk. [To Dr. Jackman] [[[w:Fear of the dark|He’s afraid of the dark]].
JDr. Jackman
Well, he might have to get used to it, at least for a while. Excuse me. [She leaves and Randy steps forward]
It’s Randy! I’m speaking to you. I’m standing right in front of you. [Randy waves his hand in front of Monk’s face and squats] Now I’m squatting. I’m about eye-level. I just want you to know that we’re gonna find the man who did this to you. I’m gonna work on this case 24/7. I don’t care how long it takes. Except for May 11th. Uh, my niece is getting confirmed, and there’s a reception the night before, so I’m probably gonna need... [Turns to Stottlemeyer] I’m probably gonna need that whole weekend off, actually…
So from the 11th to the 13th...
Randy! I didn’t think this was possible, but you’re making this situation worse.
[At Monk's apartment, Natalie is helping Monk put photos of Trudy back onto the fireplace mantle]
I’ll never see her face again.
Mr. Monk, don’t say that!
Huh, it feels like I’m crying. It feels like I’m crying all the time. [Walks over to the couch and sits down] Natalie, my life is over. Forget about me. You have to move on. Get another job.
I am not going anywhere! Look at me! [Stops and regains control] Your life is not over! You could still do anything! There’ve been lots of blind people who have done great and amazing things.
Like Ray Charles! And, um, you know…
You know…uh, I mean, come on. Uh, um, uh... Mr. Magoo.
Mr. Magoo? Oh, gosh, he was a great man. Um, an inventor.
An entrepreneur, if you will. He did lots of amazing, amazing things.
I don’t wanna talk about Mr. Magoo anymore.
[Natalie leads Monk to the station and they meet Randy in the hallway]
What's so important, Randy?
I think we've got him. We just picked up a guy in Rockaway; he was wearing the fireman's coat.
A guy named Colbert, Jake Colbert. He's a drifter; he lives out by the beach. You think you can ID him?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe you haven't heard: I am blind.
But you'll do the best you can, right? You can't give up just because you've been dealt a bad hand.
Oh have I been dealt a bad hand? I wouldn't know, because I'm blind! [They meet Stottlemeyer outside the squad room door]
Monk, hey. I like the cane. You look kinda dapper.
We found a guy. He's the right height, does not have an alibi, and he was wearing the missing coat.
Don't know. He was barefoot when we picked him up. But it doesn't matter because we don't need shoes when I've got an eyewitness.
[Following Stottlemeyer into the squad room] So to speak.
JDr. Jackman
I think I have some good news. The optic nerves appear to be healing, and your pupils are starting to dilate. I’m cautiously optimistic. [Monk moans a little bit] Is that how he takes good news?
JDr. Jackman
Look, if you could just stick around for a bit, I’d like to show these to my colleagues. Be right back.
Thank you, Doctor. We’ll be here.
Isn’t that great? She sounded so hopeful!
Hope. I hate hope’s guts!
Hey, what happened to all your confidence?
I don’t know, Leland. Maybe I dropped it when I was screaming for help ten inches off the ground! I’m so pathetic! I’m half the man I was, which was three-quarters of a man, so now I’m…
Five-sixteenths of a man.
Oh, no, wait. Three-eighths of a man.
Hey, would you quit whining? The bad guy [Murdoch]’s on a slab downstairs, we get to go home. In my book, that’s a good day.
[Natalie's desk phone rings]
Adrian Monk Investigations. What is the nature of your problem?
I'm being kept in a room against my will.
You were kidnapped. Uh, do you know who did it?
Yes. It's my personal assistant. Her name is Natalie... Teeger.
[The camera reveals that Monk is talking on his desk phone]
To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I know how... all right, I took a correspondence course.
You learned to swim by mail?
They sent me a little diploma! And, I've got this.
[He gives her a little card from his wallet]
"Swimming Fundamentals: Don't panic; Breathe normally; Flutter kicks..."
Can I have that back, please?
Why would you even take the course? You never go in the water.
[After Natalie hands out Monk's business card]
Fine. Take it out of my paycheck.
How'd you get so cheap? Really?!?
I work for a living! All right? At least I used to. Now I just get bull kelp splashed on me!
[About his new office] Natalie, you can't afford this.
Actually, you're paying for it.
Oh yes you can. Remember last month when you got that bonus after solving the Kensington case?
That's because I used it for a down payment.
Grown ups have a word for that. It's called "embezzlement".
Do you still have my invitation?
Oh, yes I do. [She pulls Monk's registration form out of her purse] "Adrian 'Captain Cool' Monk"? Who's Captain Cool?
[Strikes a Macho pose] Me. That was my nickname.
You were Captain Cool? Why?
Look, I didn’t write the invitation! Did I-
Okay! Okay! Well, uh, good luck, and I will see you here at seven o'clock. Okay? [She teasingly strikes a mirror image of Monk's pose] Captain. [She walks away]
[Randy is at his desk. He notices something and rushes into Stottlemeyer's office]
Captain? The lapel pin. I just remembered where I saw it.
No I mean... tell me about the pin, Randy.
Monk. He's been wearing the same pin all week for his 25th college reunion.
I think you're right. Did the victim go to Berkeley?
No, she worked there. She was a nurse at the university clinic for, like, twenty years.
But she didn't graduate, so this isn't her pin.
[With realization] It fell off the killer... which means the killer is at the reunion... with Monk?
[Monk and Natalie are in the college cafeteria]
Well this looks delicious! So this is where you ate? I mean was this your "hangout"?
I don't know. Natalie, I-I-I think I've seen enough of this. Let's just go.
No! I'm not gonna let you go! You've been looking so forward to this!
I don't know what I was thinking. These people weren't my friends, okay? They don't even remember me! The truth is, I was invisible. It was Trudy they loved. I was always just "the guy with Trudy," just like you're "the girl with me". [Natalie stops]
Mr. Monk, why is your name on this spit-shield? [Cuts to a close-up of Monk's name on a small placard]
Well, when I was here, there was nothing protecting the food.
So you donated all of these? That was so generous of you!
Well actually, it was more of a lawsuit. Took up a lot of my spare time... [Dianne Brooks sees them and walks over]
DBDianne Brooks
Adrian! There you are. We've been looking for you! [Dianne notices Natalie and looks at her suspiciously]
Hi, I'm Natalie Teeger. [Natalie and Dianne shake hands]
DBDianne Brooks
Hi. Dianne Brooks.
DBDianne Brooks
Oh! Oh, so you two aren’t... [She points between Monk and Natalie; Natalie smiles, amused]
Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No. No. Not... not... no.
DBDianne Brooks
Ok. Where are you sitting?
DBDianne Brooks
Kyle and I are right over here. We saved you a seat. Fair warning - we brought a lot of pictures. [They start walking in that general direction]
Not really. She was Trudy's roommate, freshman year.
Out of pity. These are what we call "pity seats".
Mr. Monk, come on! Let's have some fun! [Snaps her fingers] You said you were gonna show me your dorm room!
Well, it's right here. This is it, old #303. Uh-oh! Tie on the doorknob! A tie is wrapped around the doorknob] My roommate and I did the same thing, it's a code.
Yeah, I think I might know about that.
Yeah, it means, "Don't come in! I'm reorganizing my closet!" [Natalie stares at him incredulously]
Yeah. My roommate in freshman year, Greg, he reorganized his closet, 4-5 times a week.
Uh-huh, and did his girlfriend ever come over to help?
Oh yeah, all the time, they were real neat freaks. I used to tease them about it. "Neat freaks!" [Spots something in the student lounge] Oh my God. Oh... my... God! [Natalie moves aside] I... can’t... believe it! [They walk in] He’s still here. Hello, old friend. [Monk walks over to the refrigerator] Remember me? Oh, I knew we’d meet again. It is our destiny. [Puts his hand on the freezer door] Natalie, put your hand right there.
[Natalie puts her right hand on the freezer door]
You feel that? [Long beat]
He’s afraid. Step back. Step back. [Pulls his hand into his sleeve] I’m going in. [Monk opens the freezer door, and they find the freezer totally frosted over. Natalie turns away, disgusted]
