“Mr. Monk, Private Eye” · Season 5
In this episode: Adrian Monk (4), Natalie Teeger (4)
[Natalie's desk phone rings]
Adrian Monk Investigations. What is the nature of your problem?
I'm being kept in a room against my will.
You were kidnapped. Uh, do you know who did it?
Yes. It's my personal assistant. Her name is Natalie... Teeger.
[The camera reveals that Monk is talking on his desk phone]
You can't swim?
To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I know how... all right, I took a correspondence course.
You learned to swim by mail?
They sent me a little diploma! And, I've got this.
[He gives her a little card from his wallet]
"Swimming Fundamentals: Don't panic; Breathe normally; Flutter kicks..."
Can I have that back, please?
Why would you even take the course? You never go in the water.
Hello, tsunamis?
[After Natalie hands out Monk's business card]
You owe me 85 cents.
Fine. Take it out of my paycheck.
Don't think I won't.
How'd you get so cheap? Really?!?
I work for a living! All right? At least I used to. Now I just get bull kelp splashed on me!
[About his new office] Natalie, you can't afford this.
Actually, you're paying for it.
I can't afford this!
Oh yes you can. Remember last month when you got that bonus after solving the Kensington case?
No.
That's because I used it for a down payment.
Grown ups have a word for that. It's called "embezzlement".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
