BBJ
Springtime in Korea, when the air is filled with pollen and bullets.
S7Major Ego
(BJ begins humming)
You have just heard the ponderous words of Doctor Charles Emerson Supercillious, the only surgeon who can operate with one foot lodged in his mouth.
S7Baby, it's Cold Outside
You don't think this is the proverbial 'hell freezing over' do you, Father?
Oh, no, no. I'm sure I'd have been informed if anything that big were on the agenda.
Pierce, before the Major tells me to tell you to shut up, shut up.
Now, Radar, watch this, this'll be a real dozy.
Radar (watching Sonia Henie spin): Oh, boy, how does she do that without throwing up.
We're gonna have to keep these boys plenty warm tonight. You'll have to take heaters from the tents again.
Sir, the last time I did that they hid my glasses in the meatloaf!
S7Point of View
(Private Rich wakes up and sees Hawkeye looking at his chart)
Oh, you caught me. I was just eavesdropping on your condition. These charts come in handy, you know? Everybody ought to have one. Somebody asks how you're doing, you don't have to answer. Just show them your chart. So how are you doing?
(Private Rich touches the chart)
Wise guy, huh?
Klinger, you should know better. The Mess Tent is no place to bring a sick person!
S7Dear Comrade
KKwang
Why do you wear the uniform of a nurse?
It's a disguise. I'm hiding from sanity.
KKwang
That's crazy.
See? It's working!
Look at this! All my fleas are dead! [to Charles] MURDERER!
KKwang
Excuse me, but uh, what are you doing to gun?
BBJ
Preventative maintenance, Kwang
We fix it now, and no one will have to worry about it again.
KKwang
Ah, Kwang understand. No, he don't.
S7Out of Gas
Just as the Lord said to Noah, "Everything in pairs."
Of course the Lord was holding three aces at the time.
We're really up the river without a creek.
I might be able to arrange a drop.
It's gonna take a lot more than a drop, Padre.
I mean, with the black market.
Not advisable. Those boys play rough.
And besides, who'd be low enough to have dealings with those tarantulas?
As a matter of fact...me.
S7Dear Sis
How would you like to be married to a skunk, Father?
My religion forbids it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.