Radar O'Reilly quotes from M*A*S*H

Radar

[referring to Henry, after Frank and Margaret have asked to see him] I'm afraid he's doing some very important sleeping for the army right now.

Radar

[seeing Klinger in a suit] Don't I know your sister?

Radar

Uh, sir, if you're thirsty. Compliments of Colonel Blake. Scotch. Gin. Vodka. And for your convenience all in the same bottle.

Radar

[To Hawkeye and Trapper] Sleep well, Supermen.

Radar

I don't know. I think I've been slaked.

Radar

Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.

Radar

(walking very slowly into the OR, shortly after Blake's departure) I have a message: Lt. Col... Henry Blake's plane...was shot down... over the Sea of Japan. It spun and . . . there were no survivors. (He leaves, fighting tears)

Radar

I'll be going to jail in my puberty and not coming out until my adultery.

Radar

He just did.

Radar

I don't think this place is turning out to be that great an experience for me. I mean I work under terrible pressure and everything and there's a lot of death and destruction and stuff but outside of that I don't think I'm really getting much out of it.

Radar

Oh yeah? Well you can just forget it. Just forget it! The hell with me huh. The hell with you. How about that? And another thing. I wanna tell you something. Anyone who says anything about Iowa better be prepared to back it up pal. I'll give you a fistful of Iowa naiveteness right in the stomach. How about that huh?!

Radar

You know I don't need you to tell me what's what. I know what's what just as well as you do. So why don't you just crawl back in your bottle of booze and pickle yourself?

Radar

We're really up the river without a creek.

Radar

Oh sir, thank goodness you're here, or else I wouldn't have found you here.

Radar

And to top it all off, my Nehi is warm.

Radar

That's a bear we all have to cross.