War and whiskey don't mix! General Grant kept throwing up on his bugler.
S3The General Flipped at Dawn
I predict an early end to this war, if it doesn't rain and we get all wet.
General Steele (inspecting Father Mulcahy): There are no atheists in foxholes!
I've heard that.
General Steele I'd like to see a shine on that cross, father.
General Steele (inspecting Radar O'Reilly): The Irish were rotten Indian fighters! (Relenting and patting Radar's shoulders) Enlisted men . . . backbone of the Army! Where are you from, son?
Ottumwa, Iowa, sir--
NO TALKING IN THE RANKS!
(to Klinger) Not now, Marjorie. I'm inspecting the troops.
Men, we have a choice: we can fight or have LUNCH.
BBBlake/Burns
LUNCH!
Okay, let's go.
S3Rainbow Bridge
Look, you're doing something really decent in the middle of a giant indecency. Don't endanger nine men because one idiot wants to do his General Custer impression.
When are you gonna learn about Chinese treachery? Didn't Pearl Harbor teach you anything?
[To Hawkeye and Trapper] Sleep well, Supermen.
S3Officer of the Day
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
I'm not sleeping, I'm inspecting the inside of my eyelids.
Captain Pierce! Major Burns, acting Commander, and I, his adjutant, have been informed that you and Captain McIntyre refused to release Colonel Flagg's prisoner.
(silence)
Meanwhile, Aunt Martha, having taken a tramp in the woods, is lying in a ditch at the edge of town.
S3Iron Guts Kelly
Trapper [looking at the dead General Kelly]: He died with his boots on.
And his socks off.
CWColonel Wortman
That's not a teddy bear?
Uh, yes, sir. Regulations against having the real kind.
Look, we both studied dead. This man is dead.
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