Colonel Potter quotes from M*A*S*H

Well, he's never in it anyway.

I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son and he dresses a lot like my wife.

If Frank Burns makes any more patronizing cracks about my age, I'll take him behind the motor pool and let the air out of his tires.

Listen, it's too big a world to be in competition with everybody. The only person I'm out to beat is who I am right now. And in your case, that's tough enough.

[Giving a speech about returning home in one piece] And remember, someone at home loves you. Don't ask me why.

Sergeant, I've told everyone else, I'll tell you. The 4077th is out of blood! We're squeezin' turnips here! All my personnel have donated at least twice, and Dracula couldn't find a quick snack around these parts!

By all means, Winchester. Bring it along, we'd love to hear it.

Well, official channels could take forever. I remember when I applied for permission to get married. By the time the papers came through, my son was divorced.

Pierce, before the Major tells me to tell you to shut up, shut up.

Now, Radar, watch this, this'll be a real dozy.

You'll want to be there for two reasons. One, this is going to teach us all a new heart procedure. And second, it would be a nice gesture to your commanding officer, who could make your life so miserable if he wanted to.

Oh, Pony Pucks

Sometimes when a man's anxious to stick out a glad hand, it's because he's got something up his sleeve.

Listen, Radar, I guess you realize I'm kinda fond of you. Lord knows I've never met a soul I could depend on more, but above all that, you've been a damn good friend. Well, friend, it's time we said goodbye. Time you got on with your life. You've come as far as you can go here. You've earned your wings... now you've gotta fly.

(to Klinger) So far you have performed your duties with the efficiency of a one-legged man at a BUTT-kicking contest!