M*A*S*H · Season 7
Well, Doctor, as much as I hate to admit it, you ran that siege pretty well.
We were great for half a staff. Damn that Hunnicutt, where is he? Technically, he's AWOL, you know. I could throw the book at him.
I don't believe what I'm hearing! Since when did you join the army?
Since it was left to me.
If only Frank Burns could see you now! It's not so easy to play the clown when you have to run the circus, is it?
Colonel, I missed you!
No.
About my heart murmur, Sir...
No.
My double vision is coming back.
No.
I've fallen in love with a goat!
No.
Glad to have you back, Sir.
Must you always spout Scripture, Father?
I'm afraid it's an occupational hazard.
I'm looking for a Colonel Sherman Potter.
He's over there: the one drinking with two hands.
Are you married, Margaret?
I was, but he wasn't.
Hawkeye (trying to guess what "BJ" stands for): Belvedere Jehoshaphat.
Got it! First try.
Hawkeye (still trying to guess what "BJ" stands for): Was your mother Spanish?
No, why?
That eliminates Benito Juarez.
When you see the kind of horror that we do, day in and day out, you don't just feel close. You cling to each other.
(after Clete Roberts asks Klinger what he'll remember about serving in Korea)
All the good times, that's what I'll remember. I think there were three.
Sidney, what kept you?
My jeep had a nervous breakdown.
Don't you ever sleep?
Sleep, what's that?
Close your eyes, put your head on your chest, and have nightmares about the war.
When you're a medic, you don't have to close your eyes.
That's one way out this man's army.
I always thought of it as That Man's army.
I have a good mind to baptize you both, in dirty water.
(Nurse Bigelow comes into the Swamp)
Beej, I'm ready to face the storm. Secure me to her!
We've got a villager whose house collapsed around him and a young boy who chased his frightened livestock into a minefield.
Dear God.
He's been alerted.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
