[Stitch spies on Lilo's hula class from the doorway]
Good hula class, keiki. But before you go, it's time to start thinking about ideas for our annual fundraiser.
I have one! Okay, what does this island need more than anything?
Vampires! People love vampires! And they pay good money for them to come to their luaus, weddings, and office parties. So we put on fangs, and people pay us a dollar to chase them! [pause] Or how about this? Book sale! We all write a super scary vampire book, and we each sell one million copies!
Ew! Girls, what smells?! Oh, it's Lilo's ideas!
[Yuki, Teresa and Elena laugh; Lilo charges at Mertle, but Moses holds her back]
Does anyone else have an idea?
But I didn't get to the part where we all star in the movie version!
How about selling candy bars?
[all the other hula girls clamor in agreement]
[everyone stares at Lilo]
[after failing to even sell one candy bar, Lilo and Stitch pass by an unfamiliar character]
You don't wanna buy a candy bar from a loser, and I don't blame you.
SSlick
Tsk, tsk, little lady! Never walk away from a customer! Be proud of your product!
SSlick
Just candy bars? Was the Louisiana Purchase just Louisiana? Look, I usually only do this for friends, but you, my friend, need some pointers. Your cost is one dime for every dollar you sell! Deal?
SSlick
My card. [hands Lilo and Stitch two business cards]
"Evil Genius Experiment #020. Primary function: salesman."
[gasps] Cousin! [hugs Slick]
SSlick
Yes sir, one of Jumba's best! He always hated the business end of the evil genius gig, so he designed me! Programmed to sell anything to anyone! A piece of code he obviously left out of you, pal. [chuckles] You gotta learn your four P's: Product, Pitch, Persistence, and Payment! Memorize it, exercise it!
[after selling a lot of candy bars thanks to Slick, Lilo and Stitch return home]
Slick helped me sell two whole boxes this morning!
Be careful! Once 020 starts selling, he does not start stopping. Once sold Jumba's wife for 10 Kelticredits.
But smart. She was only worth 5.
GANTU!!! Is this what I pay you for?! What do I pay you for? GET UP, GET UP, GET UUUPPPP!!!
I told you, I have a cold! [sneezes so hard that it blows 625 to the wall]
I do not pay you many hundreds of my valuable dollars to lay around like a lounging lounger!
6625
[looks at the thermometer] Wow! What a fever! Hey, Hammy, we're gonna need some tarter sauce! Fish-stick here is burning up!
UNACCEPTABLE!!! If you do not find me one experiment today, I will go to wring you hour on the hour until you do! [turns off transmission]
625, see if you can find any of your trog brethren! Oh, and can you make me a chicken soup sandwich?
[Nani is stressed out after Slick sells everything in the house]
Don't be such a gloomy gus, Nani. He made us all this money! It was fascinating! It was fascinating! I even took notes of each item sold, to whom and for how much: a porcelain dish...
A collection of seashells...
A photograph of an odd-looking girl with braces...
[angrilyish] My eighth grade picture!
[Mertle has one the fundraising competition and wins the year supply of shave ice]
LLoki
You sure you want another one, Mertle?
[lying on a bench overweight] I won a year supply! No limit! I'm gonna eat more shave ice than anybody ever! Even if it makes me... [a shave ice lands in her mouth, making her groan] ...sick. [her face turns greens and she dashes away]
LLoki
You kids know your friend is a little too competitive, right?
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
