A character in Lilo & Stitch: The Series
Voiced by Chris Sanders
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Lilo & Stitch: The Series: in 122 of its 382 quotes
Most scenes with: Lilo (111), Pleakley (32), Jumba (32)
[Mertle and the other girls leave but Victoria stays because she's having fun; Hämsterviel lifts the roof of the house]
Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!
Whoa!
Meega nala kweesta!
Ah, new roof hinge system I installed working perfectly! Keeps repair bills down.
Very thoughtful!
[After Swapper swaps Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley's minds…]
Okay. Now who am I?
You are me, and I am 626.
Ah, this is much better!
[after defeating Hämsterviel and returning to their original bodies, Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley stand outside]
Please, put me back in my own body! PUT ME BACK IN PRISON!!
If you insist. Stitch, would you do the honors? After 355 swaps him back, we'll find his one true place.
That 355 will not swap back willy-nilly. Must be properly motivated.
StitchIh! [cracks his knuckles]
Wait a minute! Why not try a little positive assentive? Like offering the little guy some of my delicious cuisine as a reward?
Ah, excellent idea. If 355 does not swap Hämsterviel and Gantu, he will be given nothing to eat except Aunt Pleakley's famous Chocolate Green Beanses Surprise.
[Swapper quivers in fear]
Must you twist everything?!
[Because of Shoe bringing bad luck, the bed and breakfast is having no customers and Nani's cars is repossessed; Jumba finds Shoe]
Staying back! Is Experiment 113. Designed for making very very bad luck!
[Shoe's horns flash, causing the kitchen faucet to go haywire and many things on the shelves to fall off]
Eh, I think. Must make check of original design. All I remembering is of the exact moment I invented 113, my laboratory, for no reason, go "KA-BOOM!"
When didn't your lab go "ka-boom"?
Yes, but 113's was specially unlucky. Ka-Boom insurance have just ran out!
He doesn't look so bad.
StitchEesa Okeetaka!
Careful, Stitch!
[Stitch comes up to Shoe and waves at him; Shoe waves back, and his horns flash causing the kitchen lamp to fall on Stitch; Shoe's horns flash again, and the fridge opens and collapses]
It's true! It is bad luck!
What? That could've just been an accident.
Really?! [opens the freezer] The fridge just happens to break the same day I bought the 96 count box of ice cream sandwiches!
[after failing to even sell one candy bar, Lilo and Stitch pass by an unfamiliar character]
You don't wanna buy a candy bar from a loser, and I don't blame you.
Tsk, tsk, little lady! Never walk away from a customer! Be proud of your product!
It's just candy bars.
Just candy bars? Was the Louisiana Purchase just Louisiana? Look, I usually only do this for friends, but you, my friend, need some pointers. Your cost is one dime for every dollar you sell! Deal?
Who are you?
My card. [hands Lilo and Stitch two business cards]
"Evil Genius Experiment #020. Primary function: salesman."
Stitch[gasps] Cousin! [hugs Slick]
Yes sir, one of Jumba's best! He always hated the business end of the evil genius gig, so he designed me! Programmed to sell anything to anyone! A piece of code he obviously left out of you, pal. [chuckles] You gotta learn your four P's: Product, Pitch, Persistence, and Payment! Memorize it, exercise it!
[After being tired of her childhood restrictions, Lilo uses Skip to transport her and Stitch 10 years into the future, where's she's a teenager]
[examining her new body] Holy cannoli! That's... not my voice! Hello! Testing! 1, 2, 3! My name is Lilo, and I'm a teenager! Ha-ha!
Stitch[looks at himself in the mirror; he hasn't changed at all] Ichunawa?
You look exactly the same. I guess genetic experiments age differently than humans. [Stitch groans] Maybe you can grow a goatee. That'd make you look older.
[after traveling ten years further into the future, Lilo finds herself as an adult; she finds the buggy overflowing with tickets]
Hey. Is this your car?
Uh... no.
Well, I feel sorry for whoever owns it. It's breaking about a million laws in the Hämsterviel-ville city code.
Hämsterviel-ville? But this is Kokaua Town.
Miss, this place hasn't been Kokaua Town for at least five years.
[Lilo looks around to see the entire town taken over by Hämsterviel]
Stitch, I think we skipped too much.
StitchNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
[Lilo and Stitch discover Checkers, who gives whoever dons him great power; as soon as Nani sees Lilo donning checkers, she treats her like a queen]
Okay, things are gonna be a little different around here. We're going to try some of my ideas for building a new ohana.
Of course, Your Majesty.
Here's my first decree: whereas Stitch doesn't like to eat broccoli.
StitchBlech!
He therefore doesn't finish his vegetables at dinner, and so you ground him. I therefore decree that coconut cake be served as a vegetable course with every meal, 'cause then Stitch will eat it.
Your wish is my command.
StitchCOCONUT CAKE!!! WOO-HOO!!!
And what about you my loyal subject?
StitchUh-uh. Naga. Cousin.
Oh, it's the "other experiments aren't affected" thing. Oh, well, this is still one cool cousin!
[after Lilo brainwashed nearly everyone in Kauai, Mertle and the hula girls arrest every "troublemaker", anyone who gets her request wrong, and sends them to the dungeon]
My Aunt Pleakley's in the dungeon?!
StitchIh.
What did she do?
She was roasting a turkey. Her Majesty clearly decreed that Tuesday is Thanksgiving and today is not Tuesday!
What?! Who else is in the dungeon?! [Mertle hands Lilo a list of people that were sent to the dungeon] Oh, no! I never meant for this to happen!
But your word is law, Highness.
Well, maybe it shouldn't be.
StitchUh-uh!
I just wanted to make everyone's lives better, but maybe I went a little overboard. Is that what you were trying to tell me, Stitch?
StitchYes.
[sighs] Moses is right: listening to other people's ideas isn't my strong suit. I'm done being queen now, Checkers. You can come down. [Checkers crawls down from Lilo's head] Now we can find your one true place.
[snatches Checkers and puts him on his head] His one true place is with me! [nothing happens] Uh, is this thing on?
[under the influence of Checkers] What is your wish, Your Majesty?
Finally, after all this time, I, KING!!!
[While Moses practices his hula dance, Mertle blows a trumpet loudly and gives it to Lilo, and she and her friends all point to her, making her take the blame]
Oh, Lilo.
Way to ruin the hula kahiko, Lilo!
But I didn't do it!
[to the drummers] Sorry. Lilo is a bit of a free spirit.
Yeah, she's a big problem. [she and the other hula girls laugh]
I am not!
As long as we're stopped, I have an announcement: Kimo, Kiko and I going to perform in Honolulu.
That's great!
Wow!
It means I'm going to be gone for a week, so my friend Mr. Kaponi will teach the next couple of classes, okay? So, please, everyone, behave.
StitchBark, bark!
[while Lilo finds out that Snooty sucks mucus from people, Victoria teams up with Gantu to capture Snooty; Pleakley drives Lilo and a drowsy Stitch to Snooty's mountain lair really slowly]
Can't you go any faster?
These are steep mountain roads. Safety first driving techniques demand that I take control of the vehicle at all times.
This thing flies, you know.
[gasps] Flying?! Through these jagged canyons?!
[Stitch pulls a lever, causing the buggy to fly off the road]
Flying?! Flying?! Can't keep the eye on the road when I'm flying!
StitchAga blahblah!
[after Retro turns Lilo, Jumba, Pleakley, Ellen, and Lona into cavepeople, Stitch captures him and finds the way to reverse the effect; Retro turns Ellen's yacht into a canoe]
The yacht, it's a canoe! Stitch, I can't afford to buy Ellen a new yacht!
Stitch[grabs Retro's tongue and then wraps it around the cavepeople, and then spanks Retro in the behind three times] One, two, three!
[Retro releases his tongue, turning Nani's friends and family back to normal]
What just happened?
And why are we drifting toward very sharp rocks?
And why is there ham stuck in my teeth?
What happened while we gone?
I'm sure everything is fine.
[Experiment 397 appears in front of them and follows the others]
StitchEkata!
Please tell me that's just what a cat looks like on Kauai. [catches up with Lilo and Stitch as they run up to the house] Hey, wait up! I thought you were gonna show me the blowhole after lunch!
Uh, change of plans. Maybe you should write an article about catching that cat?
I can't change it now. My articles is about a Hawaiian vacation.
It'll all work out if you just roll with it. I promise.
[calling for Lilo when she finds the kitchen in a mess; annoyed] LILO! Kitchen, NOW!
We're already here. Stitch and I cooked up our latest recipe. Want some?
What I want is for this mess to be cleaned up before I get home! [leaves the house]
[looks around the kitchen] I guess we did make a pretty big mess.
StitchUnh.
We probably should clean it up. Do you feel like cleaning?
StitchNagga.
Me neither. But I know someone who loves to clean.
[Outside the house, Nani drives off to work by splashing into a puddle of water and the water splashes into some nearby flowers… and activates Experiment 285]
[With Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley all zapped by Experiment 285 (later named Lax), Lilo drags a lazy Stitch all the way to the Birds of Paradise Hotel to try and catch him, and ends up meeting the Recess gang]
Come on, Stitch! If we don't stop him, he'll turn the whole island all lackadaisical. [they enter the hotel] Come on.
Young man, I'd like my bags taken up to my room. Young man! Wake up!
Everybody's turning into Mellotrons or something.
[running past them while racing Gus to the pool] Watch it! Coming through! Last one in the pool is a rotten bologna sandwich crawling with maggots!
Well, almost everyone.
[trying to catch up] Wait, Spinelli! I hate bologna. Chlorine turns my hair green, and maggots are icky!
[annoyed] Tourists. Come on, Stitch. [suddenly notices that he's out of her sight] Stitch?
We really should be heading over to the observatory.
Come on, Gretch. Don't be such a wet blanket, for crying out loud. We're on vacation here. Let's have some fun!
Actually, Spinelli, none of you are here for leisure. As you recall, T.J. convinced the unit of concerned brainy kids that you should all escort me to Kauai at my five astronomy assistants.
Yeah! [chuckles] Good one, Teej. [He and T.J. high five]
Hey, I'd say just about anything for a chance to goof off in paradise.
Indeed. Our locale brings to mind the great John Milton, whose epic, "Paradise Lost", I intend to read cover to cover during our sojourn here.
Hey, has anyone seen my fruity drink? It's the one with the paper umbrella. [shrieks when he finds Stitch lying down on a pool raft, who seemingly took his drink] Some weird monkey has my drink!
Stitch, give the nice boy back his pineapple pizzazz! [takes the drink out of Stitch's hands and gives it back to Gus] Sorry about that. My dog's got some personal space issues.
Hey, you're a local kid. What do you do for fun on this rock?
Um, well, lots of stuff.
[reading John Milton's "Paradise Lost" poem] "Of Eden, where delicious paradise, now nearer, crowns with her enclosure green--" [suddenly gets zapped by Experiment 285 (Lax); takes Gus' drink out of his hands] And fruity drinks reign supreme. [jumps onto another pool raft next to Stitch] I pinned that last part.
StitchHoo chi fah.
Oh, no!
What in the name of Finster's support hose just happened?
He's here! Everybody, duck! [forces the Recess gang to duck and cover and turns over a strap beach lounge chair for protection]
Who's here?
Um, my other… pet. His name is… Lax. He got loose, and I've got to catch him before he zaps anyone else.
Lax?
Zaps?
You see, Gretch? The real excitement isn't up in space, it's right here, on good old planet Earth.
LiloDaveigh Chase · 234 quotes
PleakleyKevin McDonald · 109 quotes
JumbaDavid Ogden Stiers · 99 quotes
GantuKevin Michael Richardson · 86 quotes
NaniTia Carrere · 58 quotes
MertleLiliana Mumy · 33 quotes
Hämsterviel30 quotes
TeresaKali Whitehurst · 17 quotes
YukiLili Ishida · 16 quotes
ElenaJillian Henry · 15 quotes
MosesKunewa Mook · 11 quotes
NosyBobcat Goldthwait · 8 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lilo & Stitch: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
