Note: This is the fourth crossover episode to feature the main characters from Recess
[calling for Lilo when she finds the kitchen in a mess; annoyed] LILO! Kitchen, NOW!
We're already here. Stitch and I cooked up our latest recipe. Want some?
What I want is for this mess to be cleaned up before I get home! [leaves the house]
[looks around the kitchen] I guess we did make a pretty big mess.
Unh.
We probably should clean it up. Do you feel like cleaning?
Nagga.
Me neither. But I know someone who loves to clean.
[Outside the house, Nani drives off to work by splashing into a puddle of water and the water splashes into some nearby flowers… and activates Experiment 285]
[With Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley all zapped by Experiment 285 (later named Lax), Lilo drags a lazy Stitch all the way to the Birds of Paradise Hotel to try and catch him, and ends up meeting the Recess gang]
Come on, Stitch! If we don't stop him, he'll turn the whole island all lackadaisical. [they enter the hotel] Come on.
WWoman
Young man, I'd like my bags taken up to my room. Young man! Wake up!
Everybody's turning into Mellotrons or something.
[running past them while racing Gus to the pool] Watch it! Coming through! Last one in the pool is a rotten bologna sandwich crawling with maggots!
Well, almost everyone.
[trying to catch up] Wait, Spinelli! I hate bologna. Chlorine turns my hair green, and maggots are icky!
[annoyed] Tourists. Come on, Stitch. [suddenly notices that he's out of her sight] Stitch?
We really should be heading over to the observatory.
Come on, Gretch. Don't be such a wet blanket, for crying out loud. We're on vacation here. Let's have some fun!
Actually, Spinelli, none of you are here for leisure. As you recall, T.J. convinced the unit of concerned brainy kids that you should all escort me to Kauai at my five astronomy assistants.
VVince
Yeah! [chuckles] Good one, Teej. [He and T.J. high five]
Hey, I'd say just about anything for a chance to goof off in paradise.
MMikey
Indeed. Our locale brings to mind the great John Milton, whose epic, "Paradise Lost", I intend to read cover to cover during our sojourn here.
Hey, has anyone seen my fruity drink? It's the one with the paper umbrella. [shrieks when he finds Stitch lying down on a pool raft, who seemingly took his drink] Some weird monkey has my drink!
Stitch, give the nice boy back his pineapple pizzazz! [takes the drink out of Stitch's hands and gives it back to Gus] Sorry about that. My dog's got some personal space issues.
Hey, you're a local kid. What do you do for fun on this rock?
Um, well, lots of stuff.
MMikey
[reading John Milton's "Paradise Lost" poem] "Of Eden, where delicious paradise, now nearer, crowns with her enclosure green--" [suddenly gets zapped by Experiment 285 (Lax); takes Gus' drink out of his hands] And fruity drinks reign supreme. [jumps onto another pool raft next to Stitch] I pinned that last part.
Hoo chi fah.
Oh, no!
What in the name of Finster's support hose just happened?
He's here! Everybody, duck! [forces the Recess gang to duck and cover and turns over a strap beach lounge chair for protection]
Who's here?
Um, my other… pet. His name is… Lax. He got loose, and I've got to catch him before he zaps anyone else.
Lax?
Zaps?
You see, Gretch? The real excitement isn't up in space, it's right here, on good old planet Earth.
CComputer
Warning. Experiment 285 activated. Primary function: causes enemies to abandon work.
6625
Hey, hey. There's one you don't need. You never work! Oh, sorry. I mean, you never get paid. 'Cause you never catch any experiments.
See here, Spinelli, I hardly think the mischief of some bizarre pet outweighs the possible discovery of a new planet. Using the island's high-powered telescope, I hope to prove that the object I saw from my garage observatory was…
[interrupting] Incredibly boring. No offense, Gretch, but we're on vacation. We'd have more fun chasing down Lax for Lulu over here.
It's Lilo. And Stitch and I can catch him ourselves. It's like our job.
VVince
[spots and points to Lax up in a palm tree] There he is! He's up in that tree! Hey, you dumb zapper. You can't outrun Vince LaSalle. I'll shimmy up there and grab him. Somebody say ready, set-- [Lax immediately zaps him] chill. [lays down and rests on a lounge chair]
That fiend! What's he done to our pal?!
He'll be okay. He's not hurt or anything. He's just sort of…on vacation.
Look, Lilo, I don't know what kind of creature that is up there, but it zapped two of my friends.
Don't worry. Stitch and I will catch him (in no time).
Um, your Stitch is (also) on vacation. You're gonna need reinforcements.
But I can't be responsible for your safety.
Hey, no problem. That's what Finster's for.
What's a Finster?
Miss Finster, our faculty chaperone. A lot of good she'll do us. She hasn't left the spa since we got to the hotel.
[In the hotel spa, Miss Finster is getting her back massaged by the masseur, Rolf]
FMiss Finster
Oh, Rolf. Nobody can massage that deep tissue like you. Rolf me, baby! Rolf me! Ung! Oh, mister, you just doubled your tip.
[shaking hands with T.J. in agreement] All right, let's do this.
[introducing himself and his friends] I'm T.J. That's Vince, Spinelli, Gus, Gretchen, and Mikey's on the raft.
LLax
[laughing sinisterly] Zap, zap!
We gotta figure out how to catch him without getting zapped ourselves.
Yeah. If I get any lazier than I already am, I'll forget to breathe!
GGalileo
Gretchen, I've scoured my databanks, and I haven't found any record of a creature that can focus a beam of energy that causes one to stop working. It's astounding.
Indeed, Galileo. It strikes me as very odd, as well. [to Lilo] Lilo, if I may be so bold, this creature isn't, well, of this earth, is it?
Well, not exactly.
I knew aliens existed! I just knew it!
Please, Gus, we kind of try to keep a lid on the whole "aliens on earth" thing.
[calling out to Lilo after Lax jumps down from the tree] Lilo, forget it! Lax is down!
[Lilo slides down from the tree]
He's heading for the golf course!
[Lilo, Stitch, and the Recess gang arrive at the observatory beach in a golf cart as they catch up with Lax]
Looks like it's the end of the line for the cart, guys.
[as Lilo grabs his hand and drags him] Aba tooka!
How fortuitous! He's led us directly to the observatory. Perhaps we could throw the creature off balance by rotating the building underneath it.
A rotating building? Cool!
Oh, my gosh! There it is! Lilo, come look at a new planet in our solar system!
New planet? Does this thing have a focus?
Here.
That's no planet. That's a gerbil-shaped satellite!
A what now?
A satellite. Gerbil-shaped. With words on the side. [reading] "Hands off, loser life-form! Experiment Locator. Property of Dr. J.V. Hämsterviel. P.S.: This satellite is not gerbil-shaped, it is hamster-shaped."
Let me see that! "Loser life-form" is right. Some discovery I made.
It is important. Hämsterviel is an evil alien rodent. We've gotta take it down.
I was under the impression you islanders were easy-going.
It's okay, don't be scared. We just wanna catch you and use you to make an evil satellite go on vacation.
I've nearly figured out the vectors we'll need to disable the satellite.
NO!
[gets zapped by Lax] Oh, my.
Gretchen, please tell me you finished the calculations before… before you…
Oh, I'm afraid I haven't.
[defeated] We're doomed.
[resumes writing her calculations] But it shouldn't take me very much longer. I just need to tweak these coordinates again.
But, you got zapped by Lax. Don't you wanna give up doing work and goof off?
[At the airport… Lilo is saying goodbye to the Recess gang before they're departing for their flight home and finds Lax his one true place]
Stitch and I are really gonna miss you guys.
Hey, why don't you come back with us?
Sorry, we've got a kitchen to go clean up. We're gonna make a game out of it.
[notices that Miss Finster is not present] Um, guys, I hate to spoil our little good-bye party, but where the hang is Finster?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lilo & Stitch: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.