I wanna go to a party school! Yeah, Chico State!
S2 E10Bobby Slam
Some of the older ones have some breasts!
CPClark Peters
Hey, Bobby, if you don't beat Connie, we don't know what we'll do. So you better beat her!
I'm all for lady's wrestling. Except when they do it in pudding. That's just demeaning to the human beings who make pudding.
S2 E11The Unbearable Blindness of Laying
(Stereotypical Yiddish accent) Blind he's gone now!
Where's my finger?
Are you a war hero like my biological grandfather?
That is so Arizona!
GKGary Kazner
There's a uh, what are those things called?--A semi, a demi, a coupla'-dozen-wheelers.
I would never join a religion that restricted my diet. I don't want to get into heaven that way.
It seems the other eye compensates by shutting itself down. It's one of nature's wonders.
I'm not gonna be blind forever you know. And the second I see some ass I'm kicking it. Now no more making fun of my blindness.
Okey-doke. Bring! Bring! Phone for you, Hank [takes off shoe and gives it to Hank]
[Everyone laughs but Hank]
The joke's on you, funny man.
[Hank throws the shoe out of the room. Ladybird chases after it while dragging Hank with her]
S2 E12Meet the Manger Babies
OK Luanne, how do they get out of the closet? (gasps) Ohhh, No, that won't work.
(whispers) Jimmy the lock with a coat-hanger.
What? I don't... I can't... hmmm, what?
(whispers) Jimmy the lock with a... (sighs) uh, (out loud) I'll save you, Manger Babies.
You will?
Yes, uh, cause I'm the assistant manager of this movie theater. I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories and you are fired.
(as the Manger Babies) We're free, we're free, whoo.
Thank you, assistant manager. Me-how can we ever repay you?
By never forgetting this lesson. Sneaking into the movies is wrong. As wrong as spilling juice on a new carpet.
MMinister
Bravo, bravo.
You know Luanne really shouldn't waste this kind of talent on church. If you want, I could show this tape to my boss at channel 84. He's always looking for quality children's programming and home videos of things blowing up.
Well, Luanne really could use a boost right now, but I could not take advantage of our friendship like that, no.
Oh, Peggy, honey. This is show business. That's what friends do.
Suffering is a part of every religion, Peggy. I mean ... look at what the Jews have been through, and you never hear them complaining.
S2 E13Snow Job
Hey Vickers, who do you like for the Super Bowl next year? The Doopie Loopies or the Shimmie Shammies?
Hank and Buck laugh
VVickers
Okay, okay, very funny. But I like the Bills.
Hank and Buck laugh again
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.